Anchoring--who works the bow, husband or wife/child?

Stemar said:
Madame and I saw a kid in the supermarket yesterday whose Mum would definitely have left the little bugger there, and If I were on her jury, I'd have called it justifiable homicide A 6 year old having a full-on red-faced screaming temper tantrum - WTF?

Back to the thread. Madame couldn't pull up our anchor, so we do the same as Thinwater. She drives, I do the muddy bit.
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My kids are equally unbearable but at least it's the cheerful enthusiastic kind of unbearable, not the other kind. :D
 
Sir up front when anchoring, me below keeping the heap of chain under control until it reaches a point where it can look after itself, then I drive until the sails are up.

I pick up the mooring buoys and Sir steers.

At least that is what we did until we sold Blush.
 
Anything that involves danger (going out on deck in bad weather) or coordination (throwing lines ashore) or strength (tying up) should be done by the most macho one in a traditional relationship.....but the reality of boating is that most women seem to prefer not to dock themselves....a busy marina is mostly about old ladies waving boat hooks about on deck.
It’s not how I would prefer it...but it is what it is
 
With modern windlass power, does it matter? It only becomes an issue when you are hauling chain and anchor by hand.
I am navigator and bomb aimer. The Mrs releases the bomb. We free drop the anchor
 
In our boat ownership we've had 4yrs with no windlass, then 8yrs with a manual one, and a month ago finally joined the electric club. Have never had a self stowing or launching arrangement.
So there's never been much option on this- I do the physical bit, SWMBO stays at the helm. 7yr old relays signals and pushes the button on the plotter. I like to have a waypoint to know exactly where the anchor is, it takes the guesswork out and makes recovery easy because you simply drive the boat back to the right spot.
 
If I asked my Wife to do the anchor at bow ... she'd look at me as if I was crazy !! Would she take helm and engine control ? Same - I would have to be crazy !!
She just enjoys sitting out in the sun and all the boat work is left to others - me !

But that's fine ... I just regard boating as single-handed even when I have others on board. I will guide / explain if they are interested to join in ...

With those interested / able to 'boat' - I literally hand boat over and just let them get on with it ... gentle hints / reminders if needed at times, particularly matters that are peculiar to my boat ...
That way - I find people enjoy boating far more than just sitting on bum and doing nothing.
 
NormanS said:
A properly thought out anchoring system using a windlass requires little or no physical effort. My wife has been doing it for decades. We either sail or motor up to the desired position, with myself at the helm. I then give her a nod, and she lets it go by gravity until she reckons that the anchor has reached the seabed. She then slows the rate, as the boat drifts back. I give her a hand signal signifying the depth, and she lets out an appropriate amount of chain. Simple.
When we had a big boat with 140lb anchors and 5/8" chain, we used exactly the same method.
Why anyone would want to start a sexist argument insinuating that the female of the species is incapable of dropping or retrieving an anchor is a mystery to me....😀
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That's fine when you have anchor winch / gypsy for anchoring and pick-up. Not every boat has such.

For a boat thats purely hand anchoring - that's letting out and handing in ??
 
Refueler said:
That's fine when you have anchor winch / gypsy for anchoring and pick-up. Not every boat has such.

For a boat thats purely hand anchoring - that's letting out and handing in ??
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If you actually read what I wrote, (clue - "using a windlass"). Obviously if the boat is equipped in such a way that real physical effort is required, then it's best done by the stronger person, male or female.
 
Bouba said:
Can you not use your words to describe it🤷‍♂️
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... it was a picture of my voice controlled anchor system. It can drop the required amount of chain, retrieve it all when I need to go and even cleans the anchor off if it comes up covered in weed or mud.

Looks like this but I couldn't seem to get the jpeg to show ...

1693140693693.png
 
I paid for boat handling lessons for my girlfriend and she had a day with an instructor on our boat while I was crew. She drives now 👍
 
thinwater said:
Absolutely correct. I did NOT intend to start a sexist arument, in fact quite the opposite.

But that is nearly always the implication among those that divide the work that way. The husband is captain!
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We sail as a couple.The wife can do all the roles I do. We occasionally swap roles but there are roles each of us prefer. The wife loves doing the anchor and she is very good at it. When you sail with just the two of you, long passages are single handed sailing in shifts. She can put a reef in without me in the middle of the night in 35kts. We are a team. For the purposes of clearing in and out of Caribbean Islands, she is the captain. I am the owner
 
My wife & I are equally qualified & experienced, but occasionally anchoring, grabbing a mooring, stepping into a pontoon & sail wrangling require (or are easier with) a bit more height, longer arms/legs, more strength & weight - so I'm the deck monkey!
 
It all depends who is more qualified at starting the boat, maneuvering the boat in a cross tide/strong wind and possibly in the dark in shark infested waters, because if you fall over the side you have got to rely on the person you left in charge at the helm to do every thing right to get you out. Now, if I think about it , a few ex partners spring to mind who would say at the coroners court
"I did my best but I didn't think the bows of our boat and that propellor could do so much damage to a human body"
 
The fact that people somehow manage to get by with either method does seem to imply that there is no one correct answer. Before we had a windlass I think it was usually my job, with a 25lb CQR, but a friend’s wife managed their 35lb CQR for many years. She was reasonably tough but not particularly sporty or beefy to look at.
Nowadays, I have come to realise that mucky jobs, like anchoring and changing nappies, are women’s work and give them great satisfaction which it would be churlish to deny them.
 
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