Advice needed for an important project

[calranthe]

My wife is disabled due to a bike accident aged 20. We have a policy of ignoring what's supposed to be able to be done by a wheelchair user. If I can help with adaptions, I'd be happy to. I'm an aerospace engineer.


Oh, and I have cancer too (aged43) so have some sympathy. Mines a wussy cureable one though (thyroid)

Cancer sucks no matter what kind, a Doctor once told us most of our treatments involve one of two scenarios we shoot you with a shotgun (irradiation) and try to do more damage to the bad parts than good or we use chemicals so toxic to kill cancer cells that if we do not rinse them out of your body quick enough it will kill you. How is the treatment going?

I will probably take you up on that, I think a lot of people come into this with a 20/20 vision healthy demeanour and can not envision how an ill person could do this just because they couldn't, its natural we live and learn by experience, my thoughts on this is is very simple my wife shames most of the so called hero's on this planet and deals with things that would crumble most people so how the hell can I not stand up and say "hon you want to be on a boat I will move heaven and earth to make it happen and no one or nothing will get in my way" Other people see problems, I look for solutions.

The only major issue I am seeing is the getting her on and off the boat and a quick release way for her to keep herself steady while sitting in her corner on the boat, in my mind a simple ramp that can attach to the stern or side of the boat collapsible with hand rails, something like that must already exist.

Paola has an enduro manual wheelchair with suspension as long as it can fit width way on the dock I can get her anywhere in that (it goes off road quite well).

Another thing some people have not figured out is Paola is use to being stuck in a house unless we go out so lets say we go down the trent river and come to a marina she can not leave the boat ??? oh noes!! what will she do erm oh yes I know, take over 40% of the saloon with her crafting/drawing/painting equipment and have fun oh and send me off to find anything she could need.

***Now lets get morbid, you have been warned if you read anything else past this point do not come crying to me if it bothers you.***
As for strapping her in *chuckles* firstly I would make sure she had control when to strap in and made sure she practised uncliping until it was muscle memory let me put it this way of all the types of death Paola has coming to her in the future and the "what if" scenarios we face every day, death by drowning would be kinda pleasant alternative (oh boy that may shock some of you and to those I say this as anyone who knows someone who died by cancer, there is that point in certain cancer cases when even the highest grade drugs can't touch the pain) and yes I can say that because when I was 12 I drowned, it was the local swimming baths I was learning to swim and was walking around the deep end of the pool when a boy ran out of the showers and by accident knocked me into the pool, I still remember it, the coming up and struggling and then it all went dark, they only noticed me when my body had settled on the bottom of the pool, got me out and restarted my heart, compare that to some of the scenes I have seen in the cancer wards of hospitals and I know damn well which way I would want to go.

 

[MrB]

I'm personally starting to struggle with this. My best friend died at 18 from cancer and she asked nothing of anyone. My best mans Mum (82) who i look after as he lives in Australia has Leukemia and she's just done a month in Thailand for Christmas and 2 months in Australia with her son. I'm going to be harsh here and will be flamed for it, but just cut to the chase, you want peoples money to fund your idea, that's why you have come here and posted. We don't need ten paragraphs on how hard things are for you, just say it as it is !! You have my sincere sympathy's for your wife's condition, i wouldn't wish it on anyone but we are not a collective of idiots.

 

[calranthe]

I'm personally starting to struggle with this. My best friend died at 18 from cancer and she asked nothing of anyone. My best mans Mum (82) who i look after as he lives in Australia has Leukemia and she's just done a month in Thailand for Christmas and 2 months in Australia with her son. I'm going to be harsh here and will be flamed for it, but just cut to the chase, you want peoples money to fund your idea, that's why you have come here and posted. We don't need ten paragraphs on how hard things are for you, just say it as it is !! You have my sincere sympathy's for your wife's condition, i wouldn't wish it on anyone but we are not a collective of idiots.

That is your choice to think that, I came here for advice, said so in my first post the only reason I mentioned it was to give context to the situation and the more people asked and poked the idea the more I had to reveal to explain why and what was going on.

 

[MrB]

That is your choice to think that, I came here for advice, said so in my first post the only reason I mentioned it was to give context to the situation and the more people asked and poked the idea the more I had to reveal to explain why and what was going on.

If you were being honest the reason you posted here was to promote your go fund me page. I'm not knocking that but just say it as is.

 

[calranthe]

If you were being honest the reason you posted here was to promote your go fund me page. I'm not knocking that but just say it as is.

Actually no I didn't it was at least 8 posts in before I put the address to it here, at first I didn't do it because was not sure of the rules and then I did it when people asked more info about what was going on and I had already typed a lot of information on that page was getting tired of repeating it.

I think what you are doing is called transference see you are judging what you see by how you would act in these situations not me, no offence meant I am just not you and if I had wanted to push my gofund page I would have put it in the first post or stuck it on my signature, actually I could have worded it into every post I made.

I came here because this is one of most active forums on this subject I know about I didn't want people getting distracted by my gofundme when I was looking for information and advice, information and advice which actually caused me to rethink my ideas and come up with a better more reasonable goal so I am very thank full to the people here for that and have mentioned it many times but no you are wrong about me.

 

[calranthe]

Happy to continue this discussion but I logged back into the forum tonight for a specific reason.
I have been looking at river cruisers around the £10k mark what do people think of this one http://www.newark-marina.co.uk/used-boats/fjord-selcruiser-27/
It has two plus marks before even taking a look at it A)it is only 1 hour away from where I live. B)it has the possibility at a later date to be used for coastal aswell.
I know it will probably need work and I would definitely do a pre purchase survey on it.
Can anyone else suggest any workable ones around that cost.

 

[Portofino]

I would get afloat 1st somehow without committing to buy --have you been in touch with any disabled sailing associations --sounded them out ?
You as the skipper need to do a great deal of theory ( finish courses ) and agian get afloat ,even on your own without your wife initially - in a river to gain water miles .

Whare are you in terms of recognisable relevant courses ?

There's a few post / debates on here about Petrol vs Diesel --find them ,read them then factor in your wife's mobility issues and ability to operate safety equipment .Being a forum with a Capital F you will find a wide range of views on Petrol !

Glancing at your "gofundme " page it's seems very quiet ,been @ £118 for 10 days ( see date of this post ) its --was £118 / £100,000 for the sea/coastal , initially --but since you dropped it a few posts in to £20000 ( river boat ) it's still only £118

Just seems odd that you rapidly dropped it after initially pitching £100 K ---having seen the low take up .

Either not researched it - or I can,t help thinking you tried it on ,in a nieve sort of way or a more sophisticated way --I dunno

Does not look like -forgive me if I,am wrong that you have not put anything "UP " so to speak ,interms of £ deposit ,or even time effort on courses ( theory and practicle ) over the winter or any time ?-- that's what I,am picking out .

So for these reasons "i am out " from a fund raising point of view .


There's a lot of folks fundraising to various degrees collectively for official orgsnisations if you look at google " disabled sailing " etc .
So for me if I wanted to get involved donating I would rarther fund an official organisation properly structured so I could audit where my money went ,hopefully for the benefit of many .
RNLI , air Ambulance , guide dog,s -stuff like that , or indeed the disabled "sailing association "

More than happy to contribute in the boat forum side of things.

 

[calranthe]

My plan to go to sea was not naive, I always planned to start off on the rivers what I did not realise was how much people thought I would not be able to do that, yes my experience with boats is limited but my ability to learn quickly is not but after a lot of reasonable discussions on here not only on my ability to learn but more importantly how much time it may take to get the boat in the water I had to make a decision and not waste time and that was to be honest reduce the amount I needed (I could have left it as it was) and start to plan and budget around the 20k mark, I am not an official charity, I am not doing this to help millions or to boost a persons taxable yearly amount, I personally donate very rarely to "official" charities because most of the money seems to go on admin or tv adverts, although I do support animal lifeline and vet ranch, So if you feel better knowing you helped thousands of people that is great, I'm just a husband who loves his wife and wants her to have something special in a very sucky situation.

Now as for the status of the Gofundme I changed it quickly once I had made my decision and maybe that did hurt my funding from that portal which is why I find it so weird when I explained early in my posts the gofundme was just part of the fundraising setup, from what I understand you need to get gofundme to £500 before they will share it on there main page and facebook.

Okay lets get back on track anyway, I am looking for suggestions for river boats between 7k and 11k if possible with the potential to work up to costal (its not a deal breaker though) also I personally prefer diesels while I have taken apart my fair share of petrol engines (motorbikes) diesels actually interest me and being able to learn how to maintain it myself is a plus.

 

[henryf]

I've held off posting on here because I tend to be rather unemotional. I see a problem & solve it rather than wasting energy with all that sympathetic stuff. Others are far better at providing a shoulder to cry on whilst I get the tools out and fix the problem

So, to your problem. The issue isn't with your ability to learn how to go to sea or even how long it will take although even after lots of years on the water, a commercially endorsed Yachtmaster ticket and 5 years operating a charter company with a 50 foot modern well built flybridge motor yacht I would still have reservations. For me your problem is one of budget.

Old boats are notoriously unreliable and require someone who can instantly put their finger on a problem. Add in a high dependent bit of living cargo and things go tits up very quickly. Having to deal with water flooding into the boat whilst at sea is a bummer. Having someone who can't swim, is screaming out loud, strapped to the floor, unable to move quickly and requiring regular medication exceeds the mental capacity of even a man with an IQ of 175.

Then there is the question of how big does the boat need to be to accommodate your needs. Much bigger than you think is the answer.

Forget heading out to sea. It's not going to happen.

What could happen is buying an old narrow boat and cruising the canals. I lived on a narrow boat for a few years and in fact built a 70' narrow boat. You won't need anything quite that's long!

Lack of big engines means they are cheap. They are safe because the scope for damage at 4 miles per hour is minimal. Your water road is clearly marked so no navigational problems, if you sink it's a couple of feet to the bottom of your "ocean", very easy to reconfigure inside, very easy to devise a means of getting on and off with limited mobility / a wheelchair.

The most gorgeous scenery, no problem with weather, I once saw 6 inch waves on the canal & slept through the October storm of 1987. Get the weather wrong out at sea and you're f8cked.

Lots of places on the canals where you can connect with civilisation and lots of places to tie up to for a few days. You can live on a very modest budget.

So the hurdle you are worried about. Locks. You can do them yourself if need be but an alternative is to tag along with someone else going the same way and share one. The other alternative is to have your wife sat in her chair on the back of the boat operating it whilst you do all the hard work What a sense of achievement for her, for a brief moment she needn't feel helpless.

Your offshore cruising dream will never happen at so many levels. Your canal cruising dream is a very real possibility.

Buy a copy of Waterways World & Canal Boat.

Henry

Oh, and as for the fund me page no boater will donate to you offshore project because they know it can't be done for the budget and isn't safe. Your narrow boat project is far more practical and so people can see light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[lisilou]

Sorry Jason and I sincerely hope I'm wrong but...I smell a big rat. I'm with Mr B on this. I'm out.
Oh and sending me a friend request on FB when you don't know me from Adam was just odd and a big red flag to me.
To everyone else on here...remember Taz!
L

 

[Murv]

Sorry Jason and I sincerely hope I'm wrong but...I smell a big rat. I'm with Mr B on this. I'm out.
Oh and sending me a friend request on FB when you don't know me from Adam was just odd and a big red flag to me.
To everyone else on here...remember Taz!
L

I also got a FR, only realised it was related to this thread when I saw the pictures.
I assume it was through the FB boating group? I can't think of any other possible association, no mutual friends etc.

 

[calranthe]

OKay so now i'm a rat, if any of you have any doubt about what I am doing please private message me I will happily trade details and discuss it on phone/email or even scan in the doctors notes given each week after we visit, now as for facebook, its how I found this forum.

For the past 5 years I have not used my facebook much and I just restarted using in this year, when I setup my gofundme one of there tips is look for people in like minded interests, I was interested in boats, I was loving for information before anything else so yes I joined some groups, then facebook started telling me add more people, now I thought hmm this reminds me of that idea you know 6 degrees of separation as in you know everyone in the world if you go 6 people out, so I got a little click happy, I saw people with 200-400 friends and then I found out facebook only has a 5000 person friend limit, so having only 5 friends on facebook, I thought completely honest hey why not add people with the same interests.

But according to you judgemental people I am a rat some coniving monster ? listen I am a straight forward person if I wanted to just post about my gofundme I would, i'm not subtle, i've got posts like that on my gofundme and facebook, never wanted to spam people.

I genuinely came here to learn more about boats and a plan that means a lot to me I explained it all so you knew the context, some of you are fine but others you are like the worst elitist people I have ever met

How dare you tell me its not possible how dare you tell me it can't be done just because you do not have the balls or gumption just because you do not have the ability or strength of character to try it does not mean I can not and my wife can not, if I listened to people like that, hell if my wife listened to people like you she would be dead by now so go have fun with yourselves.

I'm out of here

BTW my offer still stands any of you who I have offended message me on here I will give you my phone number and we can talk it out like reasonable people and hopefully you will hear and realize I am not what you think I am, sorry for getting angry but feeling kinda insulted right now.


I will find some where else to find some advice on 10k boats for river cruising.

 

[lisilou]

I will find some where else to find some advice on 10k boats for river cruising.

Probably best.

 

[jimmy_the_builder]

To everyone else on here...remember Taz!
L

Yep, I have to say, the very same thought occurred to me.

 

[calranthe]

Okay I wish you all the best even the ones I seem to have offended i've begun wittling away at my friends list on facebook (it went all the way up to 289+), still have no idea what I did wrong but it happens

I will be back once we have a boat and I will happily prove some of you wrong

 

[Murv]

Okay I wish you all the best even the ones I seem to have offended i've begun wittling away at my friends list on facebook (it went all the way up to 289+), still have no idea what I did wrong but it happens

I will be back once we have a boat and I will happily prove some of you wrong

This thread may be of some use to you in terms of boats to look at http://www.ybw.com/forums/showthrea...real-experience-asking-for-trouble&highlight=

It's a bit laborious, but skip the first bits about the seamaster and take very careful note of the boat recommendations and what to avoid.
Also note that it is a few Years old now, so the boats suggested will be even more obtainable now, budget-wise.

Spoiler: the boat I bought in the end was an absolute disaster, and was finally sold for scrap money after ploughing many thousands of pounds into it and after endless breakdowns/cancelled cruises etc..
I'm now the happy owner (very happy, actually, of a twin diesel on shafts)
Good luck!

 

[longjohnsilver]

Neither of us like cars or have a licence (we have some one who takes us to the hospital or doctor).
I may take you up on the offer just need to sort everything out first. Thank you.

Not really into speed as long as the boat has engines that can handle the sea thats all that matters

Have read this thread with a degree of incredulity. Your original aim was to raise £100K to go around the coast, a budget that probably would be more than sufficient to buy and convert a decent coastal cruiser. However, if neither of you drive and you live in the Midlands, and your wife cannot be in crowded places (stations etc) how were you planning on getting to and fro from the boat?

As has been said many times throughout this thread a sea going boat is extremely impractical, so your change of mind makes sense. But your reduction in budget is still optimistic. Even at £10K you are only at 1% of target. How do you plan to increase that in a relatively short space of time?

And throwing a bit of a hissy fit does not help.

"How dare you tell me its not possible how dare you tell me it can't be done just because you do not have the balls or gumption just because you do not have the ability or strength of character to try it does not mean I can not and my wife can not, if I listened to people like that, hell if my wife listened to people like you she would be dead by now so go have fun with yourselves."

I can understand your frustration, but offers of help have been made and seemingly not responded to. I think that what you are trying to achieve, and the route you are taking to get there, is fraught with huge difficulties and pitfalls, not to mention the missing 99% of funding. I hope you are genuine, a man of your IQ can surely see why your intentions have been questioned, and assuming you are, I wish you all the best in achieving your goal.

 

[calranthe]

*takes a deep breath* okay yes I acted badly, I let people get under my skin (not use to it, not use to people questioning what I say and by that I mean when I say something people usually know im not lying or deceiving)
My Apology on tthat.
Murv thank you for that post I am reading it at the moment, (first page and already I think I will stick to Diesel).
Longjohnsilver, okay let me answer your points.
We live next door to my mum we are very close and her boyfriend is the one with the nice Jag and for some reason he loves driving me and Paola anywhere, (we don't abuse it and use a taxi if need be) Yes Paola hates crowds hates cars and shopping places but she still deals with it, my point was we would never organise a holiday around cars or motor homes because it would be work and effort, Paola can be pale as a ghost shaking like a leaf and need use the bathroom 5 times before we go but she will still make it to the car and make it to the appointment at hospital. The big difference would be a boat for her to be on at the end of it and that in her words makes it worth it.
You have to remember Paola is very ill all the time but it never stops her doing things, too damn stubborn to let anything stop her.

I do not want to jinx things by second guessing what is being talked about on the fundraising side but things are in motion.

If they all fall through my final option is (researched it on the gambling commision side and waiting on an email back) setup a 12,800 ticket £2 per ticket fundraising raffle following all there rules and as prizes I will be putting up my xbox one, HTC Vive, Alienware R3 17.3 6820k 980m (with graphics amplifier + 970gtx), Echo Dot (About £2500 worth) and a couple of original paintings by Paola as the prize (anyone who donates to the fundraiser gets a number of tickets equivalent to the money donated, a local business owner will be the official for it and will do the raffle at the end when all tickets purchased (winners will have choice of items or cash value based on ebay average used price, except for overseas donations they get money instead of items)

I really do not want to do that though because of the paperwork.

If any offers for help have been erm offered and I missed them then I apologise, now back to reading Murv's thread

 

[calranthe]

Anyone know much about Farndon Marina or Newark Marina both are within an hour of where we live and look to have some within budget boats.

 

[henryf]

I'm assuming the don't tell me what can't be done was aimed at the appendage to my post. I did warn you at the start of my post I'm really good when it comes to getting the job done but tend to ignore feelings. We all have our issues.

The advice contained within my post was genuine and based on experience. When I bought my first ever concrete boat to live in I was on a budget little more than the cost of filling my current boat up with diesel

I've bought the T-shirt and seen people literally sink trying to do the same as you hope to do. Canal boating is very different and this isn't the place to get advice, you need a specialist site. My suggestion of the two magazines is a great starting point.

To put things into perspective the navigation gear and radar on a sea going boat is going to start at about £3,000. On a narrow boat it's a £16.99 Nicholson's guide. Everything else is scaled down to the point where whilst not easy or without pitfalls is genuinely doable to the right person.

£10k might seem like a big chunk of cash but in the world of sea going boats it's a rounding error or incidental bill. What I would hate to see is you stuck between a rock and a hard place with the millstone of a boat liability. It happens so often and that's with fully able people who can burn the candle at both ends.

I wish you all the best and if you ever find yourself on the Grand Union Canal in Uxbridge message me on here. There's a great chandlery & I'll treat you to a pie and a cup of tea

Henry