Admissions - Silly mistakes

[VO5]

We drop amchor one day in a sheltered spot after a bumpy passage.
Unbeknown to me SWMBO had put layers of newspapers between some pans in the oven to stop them rattling.

Here I go to make a cup of tea and momentarily press the wrong knob that lets out the gas and ignites it - but I pressed the oven knob by mistake.

Suddenly the paper in the oven ignites creating a confraglation and lots of white smoke.

I kept cool and opened the door and the whole thing flared but I was able to quickly shift all the burning paper into the sink and ran the tap.

The smell of burning hung around as a reminder for some time.

It served me right for interfering in the galley.

 

[Poignard]

After winter layup at Emsworth we took the boat back to her base at Gosport, leaving the car at Emsworth.
After securing the boat I booked a taxi to drive us back to Emsworth to pick up the car but I couldn’t find the car keys anywhere on the boat

SWMBO: ‘Are you sure you’ve looked carefully?’
Me (irritably): ‘Of course I’m sure – I must have left them in the car’

We taxi back to Emsworth – no keys in the car!

Taxi back to Gosport – SWMBO immediately finds the keys in the chart table locker.

SWMBO: ‘I thought you said you’d looked carefully!’
Me: ‘Shaddap!’

Taxi back to Emsworth – stopping at cash point to get more money to pay the highly amused driver who, to his credit, gave us a discount.

 

[Duffer]

Except my guy saw the polystyrene and thought it was oven proof!

Yes - you are right: that is dumb!

 

[RichardS]

Yes - you are right: that is dumb!

This summer me and the youngest were on our own for lunch and decided to have hot dogs as SWMBO had left us a vacuum pack of 6 frankfurters. I took the franks out of the vacuum pack and each one had the manufacturer's name in black writing down the skin. Showed son the clever writing in edible ink but he asked if I had removed the packaging so I showed him the empty plastic packaging and then threw the franks onto the barbeque.

After about 15 minutes all hell broke loose as the franks exploded violently out of their individual plastic skins.

Opened can of soup and had a great afternoon cleaning BBQ!

Richard

 

[Sandy]

This is more of a total embarrassment than a silly mistake.

Boarding the night boat from Plymouth to Roscoff as foot passengers a couple of years back. I had the kitchen knives wrapped carefully in the luggage and for some reason on that trip every item of luggage was being scanned - bag went through the machine and then I heard, "Sorry sir you can't take those onboard with you, knives are very dangerous you know, I'll need to get the Duty Manager".

Duty Manager arrived and asked why I was taking kitchen knives with me, "to cook with" I replied quietly. Thankfully he saw the funny side. The knives had to go with the crew in case I did anything dangerous with them, all I wanted was a large dram and get my head down.

I managed to delay the boat with about 1,000 passangers aboard by 15 mins with all the paperwork. Talk about embarrassment

 

[PoRL9]

Forgot the torch and where the mooring buoy I'd used were one pitch black night off Norman Island.

Matters weren't helped by both me & SWMBO being somewhat squiffy driving round and round and round in the dinghy looking for it...

 

[flipper]

Forgot the torch and where the mooring buoy I'd used were one pitch black night off Norman Island.

Matters weren't helped by both me & SWMBO being somewhat squiffy driving round and round and round in the dinghy looking for it...

Uh oh...the forum Police will be here any minute...

 

[awol]

Forgot the torch and where the mooring buoy I'd used were one pitch black night off Norman Island.

Matters weren't helped by both me & SWMBO being somewhat squiffy driving round and round and round in the dinghy looking for it...

That's what the anchor light is for, isn't it?

 

[millbeach]

Made a real hash getting out of Brightlingsea marina Essex this year.
People were fending me off with there feet a one point.
Must say it was a little blowey.
Might wait till later in next season before i go back..

 

[flipper]

Made a real hash getting out of Brightlingsea marina Essex this year.
People were fending me off with there feet a one point.
Must say it was a little blowey.
Might wait till later in next season before i go back..

Don't worry, it'll be me next year, I'll create a diversion for you...

 

[PoRL9]

That's what the anchor light is for, isn't it?

Which brings me to number three......!

 

[bikedaft]

too many silly mistakes to mention...

went ashore at colonsay to use phonebox (before mobiles), alas no. was engaged, so went to hotel for a pint. great atmosphere, ate nothing, plenty beer... don't remember how me and the missus got back to the boat. and no we didn't have an anchor light. or lifejackets. or anything except a big hangover and a cabin sole covered in spew to clean up in the morning. this was not long before someone died in mallaig harbour/fell between fishing boats for much the same reasons :-(

then there was the time i tried to take a short cut thru the torran rocks with a 1:75000 chart when we had a 1:25000 chart on board (and a guide book that says don't do it!) - still wake up sweating about the rock that popped up beside us a boat length away.

etc

 

[maby]

Well, here's a shore based one and only last night...

I hiked down the pontoon to the facilities block for one last pee before bed. It was pretty chilly and a bit windy, so I slipped on the oilies - full off-shore suit. While relieving myself, i could hear water running quite fast, so I went to investigate and found that someone had left one of the showers running quite fast. Rolled up the sleeve of my storm proof, gale proof, everything that the climate can throw at you proof sailing jacket and shoved my bare arm into a torrent of very cold water! :-(

 

[benjenbav]

Many years ago, when I was young and foolish I drew up neatly to the fuel dock, stepped off the stern and asked my sole crew aka my (then) small son to throw me a line.

I didn't ask him to remove the other end of the line from the bow cleat, but he did anyway.

As the boat drifted away I somehow decided that a quick swim in the oily waters was better than facing his mother's wrath.

So, mindful of my dry cleaning bills, I stripped to my grundies in front of a small but gathering crowd and dived in.

I will say that the ladder was useful for climbing back on board.

 

[gonetotheboat]

the nature of floating objects

Some years ago, we charted a yacht in the bvi's in the caribbean.
one evening we anchored in a large bay with a hundred or so similar yachts and took the tender to the floating restaurant also anchored in the bay.
after securely tying up I carefully noted the direction we had to depart relative to the floating restaurant.
we enjoyed a good meal and lots of rum.
the fall of darkness meant we did not realise the restaurant had swung 180 degrees as the wind direction changed.
the rest, as they say, is history!
may i take this opportunity to apologize to the other 100 yacht crews

 

[pagoda]

On our 1st major outing three years ago, we had a fairly lively passage from Rothesay to Loch Fyne. Not quite enough diesel led to air getting into a line..
SWMBO was left on her own at the helm in new boat charging towards Tarbert on the jib at 6Kts. I sorted out and bled the air out the lines, got the engine running. Phew..
We decided to go into Portavadie, and parked ourselves on about the nearest pontoon we could lay our hands on. As our pulse rates returned to normal, I skipped on to the pontoon to go and let the office know where we were. Not quite..
We'd moored on an extremity linked to the main pontoons by a bridge section which was missing! A pot of tea was required before we moved the boat elsewhere.
Fortunately, the place was almost deserted

We had a few other entertaining events that holiday...

 

[RichardS]

Some years ago, we charted a yacht in the bvi's in the caribbean.
one evening we anchored in a large bay with a hundred or so similar yachts and took the tender to the floating restaurant also anchored in the bay.

Willie T's off Norman Island?

Richard

 

[HinewaisMan]

Chay Blyth recently broke his leg after slippimg on early morning dew on the deck of a friends yacht whilst moored up.

Zooming along in the dinghy in a sort of half nautical twilight, I sideswiped a little aluminium cat, its burnished sides being lost in the shore lights.

Silly mistake #1 – did it on the way to the bar!

“Ouch!” thinks I, “that hurt!”

Silly mistake #2 – should have realised that the blood running down my face and the fact I beached off the Darwin Motor Boat Club, not the Darwin Sailing Club where I thought I was, might suggest I’d banged my head!

However, having finally found the right bar (and SWMBO who commented “You’re late – and what have you done now, you’re covered in blood”), a quick clean up and several pots of liquid pain killer soon sorted things out.

Silly mistake #3 – being a bloke and dismissing the few well meaning suggestions that maybe a visit to A&E might be a good idea.

Leading to…..

Silly mistake #4 – heading back to the boat and hauling myself up over the side. This displaced the five ribs I’d also broken!

Chay Blyth, eat your heart out!

Still, could have been worse. I could have gone between the two hulls of the cat. Doubt I’d be writing this now if I had.

 

[Felixcat]

I was dried out on the mud close to Roa Island with my rubber dinghy on the mud behind the boat. In the middle of the night an odd noise woke me. The wind had got up and the dinghy was imitating a kite, rotating in the air on the end of the painter which was getting ever shorter as the dinghy span. I shortened the painter and secured the damn thing in the cockpit. I must have been half asleep, because in dawn's early light I was again disturbed. As I looked out of the companionway I could see the dinghy spinning away and the painter wound tightly to a fraction of its length. I was staring at this and cursing my carelessness when the painter broke. The dingy went tumbling and cartwheeling across the mud, but seemed to disappear about three or four hundred yards away. I noted the direction and dressed.
I trudged through the mud towards where I last saw the dinghy, and found it in a hidden gully. It was covered in mud, and so was I by the time I got it back to the boat.

 

[pyrojames]

Normally run the engine on the mooring to recharge batteries while I tidy away. Created a warm bath in the dinghy when wind and tide conspired to sit it directly under the exhaust outlet. Very nearly sank it, had to bail out from a distance with saucepan on the end of the boathook.

I frequently manage to half fill the dinghy with the engine exhaust...