jeanette
Member
I read so many similar stories about couples that go to sea. HE wants to sail and SHE is reluctant. HE is prepared to sail away without her, SHE doesn’t want to lose him. HE tells her what a wonderful life they will have and SHE eventually relents. HE is the Skipper SHE is always Crew.
Most of these stories have happy endings and Good Luck to them all. They undoubtedly made compromises, divided the chores, shared the responsibilities and enjoyed the benefits of cruising with someone that they love and trust.
My perception of the compromises is that HE navigates; lifts the heavy things; stays up all night to fret over the tenacity of the anchor; dives into the engine compartment at a time when most sane people would accept death as a certainty. Whereas SHE acts as crew; stands her watch; shares decisions about destination; takes responsibility for provisioning; heads down to the galley to prepare dinner when ordinary folk are already sharing theirs with Neptune.
So where are the stories about the girls who pursuade their man to go to sea – albeit reluctantly. In other words, I could stand a little advice and encouragement not to mention a few ideas about how to share the life.
In my situation I have a man who loves me, is willing to share a cruise and whose greatest pleasure is to tell everyone all about the adventures when he gets home.
Unfortunately for me, rather than the typical circumstances I describe above, it is much more the case that SHE wants to sail and HE is reluctant. SHE is not prepared to sail away without him, SHE doesn’t want to bore him. SHE tells him what a wonderful life they will have and HE eventually relents (because he loves wine and Olive Oil); SHE is the Skipper and SHE is the Crew; SHE navigates; lifts the heavy things; stays up all night to fret over the tenacity of the anchor; dives into the engine compartment at a time when most sane people would accept death as a certainty; makes decisions about the destination; takes responsibility for provisioning; after servicing the engine SHE showers quickly and heads down to the galley to prepare dinner while HE checks the share prices.
HE acts as crew (but can’t tie a knot); helps with mooring (but can’t throw a rope); helps with the engine service (by priming the fuel with the throttle); approves decisions about destination.
I can see that some of these problems reflect the boy/girl thing - but how do I find a role for someone who can’t cook; whose idea of shopping is to enter a shop when he’s hungry; has no sense of direction (even on land); has a brain the size of a planet but when asked to coil a rope delivers a tangled heap of sodden rope at my feet.
HELP!
Jeanette
Most of these stories have happy endings and Good Luck to them all. They undoubtedly made compromises, divided the chores, shared the responsibilities and enjoyed the benefits of cruising with someone that they love and trust.
My perception of the compromises is that HE navigates; lifts the heavy things; stays up all night to fret over the tenacity of the anchor; dives into the engine compartment at a time when most sane people would accept death as a certainty. Whereas SHE acts as crew; stands her watch; shares decisions about destination; takes responsibility for provisioning; heads down to the galley to prepare dinner when ordinary folk are already sharing theirs with Neptune.
So where are the stories about the girls who pursuade their man to go to sea – albeit reluctantly. In other words, I could stand a little advice and encouragement not to mention a few ideas about how to share the life.
In my situation I have a man who loves me, is willing to share a cruise and whose greatest pleasure is to tell everyone all about the adventures when he gets home.
Unfortunately for me, rather than the typical circumstances I describe above, it is much more the case that SHE wants to sail and HE is reluctant. SHE is not prepared to sail away without him, SHE doesn’t want to bore him. SHE tells him what a wonderful life they will have and HE eventually relents (because he loves wine and Olive Oil); SHE is the Skipper and SHE is the Crew; SHE navigates; lifts the heavy things; stays up all night to fret over the tenacity of the anchor; dives into the engine compartment at a time when most sane people would accept death as a certainty; makes decisions about the destination; takes responsibility for provisioning; after servicing the engine SHE showers quickly and heads down to the galley to prepare dinner while HE checks the share prices.
HE acts as crew (but can’t tie a knot); helps with mooring (but can’t throw a rope); helps with the engine service (by priming the fuel with the throttle); approves decisions about destination.
I can see that some of these problems reflect the boy/girl thing - but how do I find a role for someone who can’t cook; whose idea of shopping is to enter a shop when he’s hungry; has no sense of direction (even on land); has a brain the size of a planet but when asked to coil a rope delivers a tangled heap of sodden rope at my feet.
HELP!
Jeanette
