Bejasus
New member
ok 360 left to go..................
but this could take a while....... /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
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but this could take a while....... /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
1
1,000 post threads
- Thread starter Phoenix of Hamble
- Start date
Bejasus
New member
359
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Bejasus
New member
358
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Bejasus
New member
35.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sixpence
Active member
vain attempt if I may say so , at least I was talking to myself , but then nobody was here to listen
Sumpie
New member
Is this STILL not finished? Now there's a rhetorical question if I ever saw one. I'm quite happy to talk to myself, because apparently even when I am in conversation with people during the wee small hours they wake up the next morning in the belief they were all alone on the forum. Nice to know I have become a Harvey the pink rabbit type charcter to you Trevera.
Sumpie
New member
Maybe we should ask Keith to clear the blockers and let all the spammers come in and finish this off for us.
Sumpie
New member
This would have the added advantage of giving Webcraft a handy reference point should he be in need of a dodgy rolex or penile extension during his travels.
Sumpie
New member
Well I think it's a good idea.
Sumpie
New member
......rum tee tum, de tum tee tum, rum tee tum, ra-da-dah......
Sumpie
New member
......rum tee tum, de tum tee tum, rum tee tum-tee-da-dah.......
Sumpie
New member
Have you ever thought it strange that 'lemon' and 'melon' are anagrams of each other AND both fruits? eh?
Sumpie
New member
...rum tee....oh, i give up.
BrendanS
Well-known member
Melons are not fruit. They are two legged animals of the haggis family, though like sloths are a bit lazy and like basking in the sun, not like their Scottish relations.
Sumpie
New member
Does that mean watermelons are a subspecies that never made it out of the primordial gloop?
BrendanS
Well-known member
Of course they made it out of the primordial gloop. They are just typically categorised incorrectly.
Most people don't realise they are part of the haggis family
Most people don't realise they are part of the haggis family
Sumpie
New member
The Enthusiast’s Cryptozoologicon tells us that the haggis is a member of the family of duck-filled phatypuds (of the genus umbrus), the group from which the Australian duck-billed platypus derives. The creatures are believed to be the descendants of a migrating group of phatypuds trapped in Europe during the last ice age. They evolved thick pelts and layers of blubber to survive in the cold damp conditions gripping the continent. So well did they adapt that they began to thrive and multiplied in huge numbers. But as the glaciers retreated and the melt waters dried, the haggis had to flee north to escape the rising temperatures. As the planet warmed, there were fewer and fewer habitats suitable for the haggii, needing as they did almost constant rain and a chill climate. Thus it was that Scotland became the only place in the world where haggii can be found.
Latin name: Marag fabulosus.
Lifespan: Unknown.
Natural enemies: Anything with teeth, anything larger than a football and, of course, midges, the natural enemy of every living thing.
Food: Heather, blaeberries, turnips and potatoes.
Habitat: Cold and wet regions of Scotland.
Range: The haggis can be found anywhere in Scotland. However the creatures become harder to find after 30 November, the start of the hunting season. Centuries of persecution have obviously caused these creatures to be cautious at this time of year. On 31 December, something very unusual happens: haggii move east across the country in huge numbers. The reason for this mass migration is unknown. This could be an example of co-evolution as most of the human inhabitants of the country are in no condition to hunt on 31 December or 1 January and the haggii can move unmolested.
Mating habits: The mating season starts on 25 January, a date after which it is illegal to hunt the haggis. Most mating attempts are unsuccessful, possibly due to the cold weather. However a successful female will lay literally hundreds of eggs. This strategy is the only reason that the haggis has survived.
Latin name: Marag fabulosus.
Lifespan: Unknown.
Natural enemies: Anything with teeth, anything larger than a football and, of course, midges, the natural enemy of every living thing.
Food: Heather, blaeberries, turnips and potatoes.
Habitat: Cold and wet regions of Scotland.
Range: The haggis can be found anywhere in Scotland. However the creatures become harder to find after 30 November, the start of the hunting season. Centuries of persecution have obviously caused these creatures to be cautious at this time of year. On 31 December, something very unusual happens: haggii move east across the country in huge numbers. The reason for this mass migration is unknown. This could be an example of co-evolution as most of the human inhabitants of the country are in no condition to hunt on 31 December or 1 January and the haggii can move unmolested.
Mating habits: The mating season starts on 25 January, a date after which it is illegal to hunt the haggis. Most mating attempts are unsuccessful, possibly due to the cold weather. However a successful female will lay literally hundreds of eggs. This strategy is the only reason that the haggis has survived.
BrendanS
Well-known member
and from the same site
It is generally held that the haggis is a three-legged bird with vestigal wings like an ostrich or an emu. Each leg is believed to be different length, a short leg and two long legs, allowing it to run rapidly round the mountains and hillsides which make up its natural habitat. It is also believed that male haggis run only clockwise and female haggis run only in an anticlockwise direction. However, this only occurs when it is disturbed from its normal routine of sleeping on the heather which covers the hills and mountains of Scotland. Folklore tells us that during Haggis Season, Wild Haggis are hunted, and their meat served up as a local delicacy, the well-known Scottish food, haggis. Scotch eggs are this creature's eggs.
Folklore also holds that wild haggis can sense vibrations in the ground produced by other animals, including humans, and this, along with its nocturnal habits, explain why living specimens of the haggis are so rarely seen. However a haggis can easily be caught by running around the hill in the opposite direction. A group of Haggis is sometimes known as a heap.
Alternative stories say that there are two species of haggis, one with longer left legs and the other with longer right legs. The two species coexist peacefully but are unable to interbreed because in order for the male of one species to mate with a female of the other, he must turn to face in the same direction as his intended mate, causing him to lose his balance before he can mount her. As a result of this difficulty, differences in leg length among the haggis population are accentuated.
Other variations include that Wild Haggis are four-legged animals, or that they can indeed fly.
When one applies for a Scottish passport, one also gains the right to hunt Haggis.
I recenlty caught my second haggis at a game preserve in the mountains. I did see a haggis of the flying variety, but these are rare and illegle to hunt in the game preserve. (They are also hard to catch) I am now enjoying real haggis skin gloves. I can assure any animal lovers that the haggis felt no pain.
It is generally held that the haggis is a three-legged bird with vestigal wings like an ostrich or an emu. Each leg is believed to be different length, a short leg and two long legs, allowing it to run rapidly round the mountains and hillsides which make up its natural habitat. It is also believed that male haggis run only clockwise and female haggis run only in an anticlockwise direction. However, this only occurs when it is disturbed from its normal routine of sleeping on the heather which covers the hills and mountains of Scotland. Folklore tells us that during Haggis Season, Wild Haggis are hunted, and their meat served up as a local delicacy, the well-known Scottish food, haggis. Scotch eggs are this creature's eggs.
Folklore also holds that wild haggis can sense vibrations in the ground produced by other animals, including humans, and this, along with its nocturnal habits, explain why living specimens of the haggis are so rarely seen. However a haggis can easily be caught by running around the hill in the opposite direction. A group of Haggis is sometimes known as a heap.
Alternative stories say that there are two species of haggis, one with longer left legs and the other with longer right legs. The two species coexist peacefully but are unable to interbreed because in order for the male of one species to mate with a female of the other, he must turn to face in the same direction as his intended mate, causing him to lose his balance before he can mount her. As a result of this difficulty, differences in leg length among the haggis population are accentuated.
Other variations include that Wild Haggis are four-legged animals, or that they can indeed fly.
When one applies for a Scottish passport, one also gains the right to hunt Haggis.
I recenlty caught my second haggis at a game preserve in the mountains. I did see a haggis of the flying variety, but these are rare and illegle to hunt in the game preserve. (They are also hard to catch) I am now enjoying real haggis skin gloves. I can assure any animal lovers that the haggis felt no pain.
Sumpie
New member
Are you sure we're reading from the same hymn book here?
Because my source states.....
This misconception originated with a respected English commentator. However, the haggis’s legs are all the same size. Any apparent difference in length could be due to the haggis’s habit of standing in a bog to confuse predators. Quite why this would confuse a predator is unclear as the haggis would be unable to run away, being as it is stuck in a bog.
Because my source states.....
This misconception originated with a respected English commentator. However, the haggis’s legs are all the same size. Any apparent difference in length could be due to the haggis’s habit of standing in a bog to confuse predators. Quite why this would confuse a predator is unclear as the haggis would be unable to run away, being as it is stuck in a bog.
Sumpie
New member
See, methinks you're on Wiki-Tiki-KikiDee-Pedia, which quite frankly, when discussing matters of indigenous bird charcter traits, I would trust as far as I can throw a .....haggis. May I direct you towards the cornucopeia of hard earnt information that is -
HaggisHunt@Scotsman.com
HaggisHunt@Scotsman.com