What would you do HELP! Theres nothing on board

[trouville]

It seems to be yet another good winter,a bit warmer and less rain than the Baltic in summer!

I left Menton with a good breeze forecast to increase it wasent cold but i needed my light HH breathable jacket.It began to rain,i went below got the heater going.

I dont like rain.There were showers sun and grey clouds with about 30 miles to go i felt soggy and cold then sun came out makeing life more chearful

I took off my shoes and jeans pegged the jeans to the guard rail to dry and went below i opened my cloths draw and found it empty!!!

I searched everywhere there was nothing!umm Stella had been cleaning and makeing order below but she hadent said anything about takeing my things to the flat?I looked out at the cockpit my jeans had gone!!

I rushed out and looked in the wake, nothing! Id pegged them with 4 pegs how was it possible?why haddent i dried them below.

It was suddenly very chilly!I looked about no land no shipping to be seen went below to warm up poured a large coffee.Then sent Stella an email eventually she replied saying she had thrown some "rags"away and i should buy some new cloths in the rush to leave she had forgotten to tell me

I looked in her locker and found one cotton dress with flower prints and far to small for me,one pleated skirt again far to small and a knee length tight skirt and two pair of jeans which are tight on her.

I then looked for a towel none!!!!All there was was a small hand towel!!I thought of cutting the bottom out of a sail bag?? I tried one for size without cutting it,it was far to tight to walk with

What could i do?If i enter a port id be arrested for indecent exposure before i got to the capitanerie!I dident even have a long pullover

Worse was the forecast which meant my first anchorage would be fully open to the blow and i couldent go into port like this!

Eventualy i got swmbo on the SSB she suggested wearing her green tight skirt as it has belt loops and her green tights,Dave said i could put up my hood and brush my hair over my face as i have long blond hair

I then heard the others falling about laughing,then they said "but last year you wanted to wear a skirt" I reminded them that it was a bad idea and totaly inpractical!!

So what would you do???Would you go into port a port which has cloth shops then walk into town in a short skirt to buy a pair of jeans?

I have enough diesel to heat for 4 days at about a gallon a day (24 hrs) enough food for a week at least and wine enough

I have 7 days to decide to be brave or return.

What would you do????

 

[NickiCrutchfield]

I guess just carry on and see what happens. It could be one of those turning-points in life.
Thanks also for making me laugh.
Nicki

 

[sarabande]

Sure as hell it's more challenging than the average "What next, Skipper ?"

Gottit, Trou; they tell me that togas are the most fashionable wear in SofF. What about a tastefully draped genoa ? If nothing else, it will establish your credentials as a dedicated follower of fashion>

 

[DanTribe]

How big is your ensign? We are always being told that we "wear" an ensign, not fly it.
It could be considered to be disrespectful though.

 

[exfinnsailor]

Enjoyed the laugh .. Under Pants , A Tee Shirt and Trainers and just jog .... No one ever takes any notice .. They just think they are mad .. Have you seen what some of them wear .. Could of course cut up green dress to make shorts .. Even madder and far more expensive as you would have to replace it .... /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif

 

[peterb]

Write to YM Confessional.

 

[bilbobaggins]

[ QUOTE ]

I have 7 days to decide to be brave or return

[/ QUOTE ]

/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Thanks for sharing that with us.... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Now, if you *really* have that as a problem, then it rather sounds to me like a cry for help on the forum. Being as we are a charitable bunch on here, 'ere's my offer to assist you out of your predicament.....

Should you think it the optimum solution, and you agree on 'ere by Sunday night 13 Jan in public and by PM, I am willing to drive across France to your rescue and bring lots of nether garments, to cover up the shame and embarrassment of a fellow forumeer showing 'erse and elbow' to johnny foreigner. I will, of course, recruit a fellow driver with long experience of maritime contingencies and in possession of a valid driving licence and 'pink chit' to assist in the arduous task of bringing trews to the trouserless in a foreign land.

There will, of course, be no professional fee levied for this 'pro bono' act of support and solidarity with a fellow Weegie; we will merely anticipate the proper acknowledgement of service selflessly rendered by your invitation to a supper of truly celebratory proportions in an appropriate establishment that has no peer in these benighted isles - according to Gault-Millau - and the company for a while of some of your more decorative lady companions.

We will, in accord with customary practice, retain all rights to photographic and video imagery.

I am, sir,

Your obedient servant

/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[capnsensible]

Cap d'Ag

 

[poter]

Laghed......... /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Ok it can happen to anyone & there but for the grace....etc.etc.

As part of the forum rescue plan I am sending you a pattern I found on the net for a pair of shorts. (Please dont tell anyone, as I had to subscribe to a sewing circle & it would ruin my street cred.)
shorts
I might add that there is no health & safety regulations attached to the making or wearing of the said shorts & i am afraid no liability can be accepted if the clothing item cuts off any blood supply to vital organs....

good luck, let us know how you get on.

poter

 

[awol]

[ QUOTE ]
.... support and solidarity with a fellow Weegie;

[/ QUOTE ]
The term "Weegie" is a copyright trademark applying to the citizens of the greater metropolis of Glasgow. Its use to cover some Johnny Foreigner who has misplaced his nether garments is gratuitously offensive (though I'm not entirely sure who to).

On the presumption that, as well as food and diesel, Trouville's fine vessel is equipped with a sailmaker's needle and twine, then the fabrication of a rudimentary feilidh beag should not be beyond him. Some tips on style are here - No, it's nae me!

 

[poter]

Brilliant...... /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

I new the scots would have an answer.......
A sail Kilt!

 

[mainmarine]

you could try a black dust bin liner if you have one, cut out holes for head and arms, this was used by UK girls of an earlier age as a very stylish dress.

 

[Cardinal]

Wot! No oilie trews?

 

[clouty]

Caught in a rain squall on a very short trip to the travel hoist, no oilies on board, cut holes in the corners of a bin liner for my lower legs to emerge, and tied the opening of the bin liner round my waist.

It didn't start a new fashion, but was effective!

 

[Bejasus]

Classic trouville. Had me in stitches.......oops /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[Gin]

It's cold and the depths of winter here, which is usually a miserable time.

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time and whilst I'm sorry you have a problem, thanks very much for sharing it with us. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[trouville]

No.My old Musto kit is still in the Baltic (where i left the folkboat which im trying to sell for 1500€)

Its likely i wouldent have had the trousers aboard anyway hear in the med, as wearing thems like stepping in deep sea diveing suit,perfet for the north warm and dry even though there not breathable but so stiff you rally know your wearing them

Theres no sheets either just the sleeping bag,even the sheet sleeping bags have gone to be "properly washed and cleaned"?

I cant open the links untill i find a wi-fi. At 3am i uped anchor and went to the key,tied up,green skirt and green tights on i braved the town,thankfully i have a pullpit with a step not one i have to clime over but step through.

I stepped forward the skirt tied my legs together my foot dident make the key i grabbed the pulpit and was left sitting on the bow with my feet inches above the water that hurt!

Throughly shaken i went back poured a large coffee.By then it was almost 4am i hurried back pulled the boat in lifted my skirt in case and stepped on land,the bright street lights seemed like daylight,i wandered down to the market a car passed,im sure it slowed down?I wondered how much they would pay?Would i need a VAT number?

I walked through the small allee some people passed wishing me "good morning" "Madam"!!Umm Heavy tights are not warm!And the skirt defiantly "airy"I passed some woman who stopped talking and looked at me then giggeled, enough!I went back.

I wondered if the shop that sold working cloths was still there or been turned into a tourist place as so many others.

AT last it was 7.30am the time to try Stella on 3720mhz (we dident use the maratime frequency as shes useing a JRC 225 which is a very good rig but to access all band you have to tap in the code each time & we had forgoten what it is!)I heard her calling.

After more reassurances my resolve to walk briskly looking straight ahead and forget the way i was dressed returned,though hearing the others laughing fit to bust in the background dident help.7.45am they all had to leave for work,i was again alone

A knock!A port worker,"good morning si?? Mada--? Err would you report to the office to pay befor 11.00AM Please.More costs!

The day dawned cool and grey,the provision varied between rain a lot of rain gray and cloudy with occasional sun!I put on my jacket took the clip out of my hair and brushed it that fell over my shoulders,I stepped off the boat with great care the town was busy traffic and people going about there normal day

My resolution still strong i went accross to the cafe for a capachino and ate the small snacks rather than a cornetto i watched in the mirror the men looked and carried on as normal but the woman looked then heads down chatted away with occasional giggels and a look in my direction

I finished my cappachno and orderd a re-inforced coffee which the "men" take.Then "Hello" when did you arrive?Where is your boat?I explained that i had to go shopping and thats why i was paying,fortunatly at the low tarrif

She said "you need some matching shoes and top"Perhaps a hand bag??We finished our coffee and she took me shopping!Apart from giggeling the woman shuddered when they thought of wearing a short cotten skirt and tights on a breezy cold grey winter day such as today.

Equiped with two pairs of workers trousers 19.99€ in place of 79€ for the first price jeans i felt more at ease,how woman can wear tights i dont know?Perhaps its better than luminouse white hairy legs as was said,but my feet were cold and so warm are they not,plus there fragile & expensive!

The ordeal over we went along to pay the exorbitant charges and then to choose a place to eat!

I simply never thought of looking to see if there were cloths onboard!I alway have (used to have) at least two pairs of jeans,one with a torn knee which i taped up and others which the pockets have gone plus another pair.Swmbo had decided the inside had to be cleaned and had taken everything off not only that she told me she threw my cloths away!!!!!!

I had shirts with stains and old pullovers with holes but comfortable and fine for working.The jeans still served and the tape had been good quality & expensive!

I reminded her that last year i paid 10€ for the grey pullover & this year for the same in the sales 20€!She said "i paid that for her green tights your wearing so dont ladder them"???Then "have a good day" bye!she went QRT Woman

In future ill check whats aboard!

 

[bilbobaggins]

Haw, see yoo, Jim! Gerraf ma planit... It's grate dods o' turd like yoo, ya wee nyaff, thit gie the rest o' us a bad name furra good manners, an' a' that.

Whitifuk dae yoo 'no aboot bein' a Weegie, ya steamin' lump o' God's good clay waistit. Yoor frae yon Embru', in'it, so away an' don't talk pish! Ah'm a Weegie oan ma mither's side a' ma days, an' a' yon jeanyology crap oan ra web sez a' wis born intae ra Yung Tongs, so ah kin staun up strait in ony company, ah kin, an if ah wahnt tae dae ra honorific oan yon bampot Trouville, naebuddy frae ra wrang side o' Cowcaddens will stoap me.

So pit that in yir pipe an' smoke it!


/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Bejasus]

congrats on the attempt at 'Parliamo Glesca'.
It's a pity yir ither hauf ay has ra helm. 'Young Buck ya Bass'

 

[awol]

Just 'cos I bide in Edinbro doesn't mean I wuz born here, ye bampot. Ye no started bevvying awfy early the day - or are ye just naturally a tosser?