What the flip next skipper

Very good Daka...

As somebody who HAS been chased by a ruddy great big bull with his girlies in tow I can confirm it is a VERY scary experience. As to why I was chased I know not, I was crossing a field a good 250 yards away, nor wearing red... perhaps he just wanted to show off. A few things stick in my mind...

1) They can run blo@@dy fast
2) They don't give up. After I scarpered and leapt a fence of the height that would normally challenge an olympic athlete, it tried to smash through it to get at me
3) I have no doubt whatsoever that had he caught me he'd have done me serious injury or worse. He was certainly equipped to do so :eek:
 
DAKA said:
Based on true story , (as always) ;)


You decide due to gusty conditions to move slightly inland and explore a few Rivers/creeks and inlets but you find it a little remote and there aren't any fuel pontoons, running low on fuel you spot a Shell garage so drop anchor, launch the dinghy armed with a couple of jerry cans and make your way across a large cow field........

You fill your cans and head back; with tiring arms you stop at the Pub for refreshments which delays you a couple of hours , and its now getting dark as you find yourself in the middle of the cow field finding difficulty in spotting the mines, next your daughter asks why the big brown cow has a ring in its nose, you are all wearing your Bright red Helly Hansens .......... what next:eek:
Click to expand...
Oh come on Daka.. as always-the damn rope is the answer.
 
DAKA said:
Based on true story , (as always) ;)


You decide due to gusty conditions to move slightly inland and explore a few Rivers/creeks and inlets but you find it a little remote and there aren't any fuel pontoons, running low on fuel you spot a Shell garage so drop anchor, launch the dinghy armed with a couple of jerry cans and make your way across a large cow field........

You fill your cans and head back; with tiring arms you stop at the Pub for refreshments which delays you a couple of hours , and its now getting dark as you find yourself in the middle of the cow field finding difficulty in spotting the mines, next your daughter asks why the big brown cow has a ring in its nose, you are all wearing your Bright red Helly Hansens .......... what next:eek:
Click to expand...

DAKA, we do not have enough information to make a judgement call :

1) Single or twin engine ?
2) Shaftdrive or Sternrive ?
3) Tonnage ?
4) Draught ?
5) Have you changed the air, diesel and oil filters lately ?
6) Rising or falling tide and what ios the predicted LW height ?
7) Anchoring depth ?
8) What anchor ... Delta or Bruce and chain olnly or ?
9) Dinghy size and make
10) Dinghy with Outboard or oars ? (if outboard which make and hp ... four or two-stroke)?
11) Wind direction and Force ?
12) Anyone onboard mother vessel and what kind of communication equipment are you carrying ?
13) Any vintage port or single malts onboard?
14) Any maidens onboard requiring to be rescued ?

Got loads of other questions as well, but feel we need to have these answered before we can provide you with sensible answers to your original query....
 
First the good news

Your Oilies being Bright red doesn't matter, bull's are colour blind - here endeth the good news.

Whilst a Limousin's one of the less aggressive breeds, any and all of them can and will kill you. I grew-up being taught that 'savage' bulls rarely kill dairy farmers, it's invariably the quiet/placid ones that kill you; they're the ones you get careless with and stop watching!

In response to Kid's I: ...Brown bull will be a beef bull so no problem... - See above and in addition, Jersey Bulls are brown and whilst Jersey cows are on the placid side the bulls are just about the most evil barstewards I've ever had to deal with - far from being the biggest but bad tempered and fast!

All that said, the biggest shoeing I ever got (four ribs broken, a cracked shoulder blade, concussion and bruising that lasted nearly four months) was dished out by a black & white Holstein, that I knew was mental and which I thought I was keeping an eye on.

Keep watching, move slowly and above all keep praying.
 
A European Union Department of Water Resources representative stops at a West Country farm and talks with the old farmer.
He tells the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for the EU water allocation directive".
The farmer says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there".
The Representative says, "Sir!, I have the full authority of the European Union with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land, NO questions asked or answered.
Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Shortly, thereafter the farmer hears loud screams and sees the representative running for his life followed close behind by the farmer's bull, who's gaining with every step.
The rep is clearly terrified, and is screaming for help, so the old farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....


"Your card! Show him your card! "
 
adey said:
A European Union Department of Water Resources representative stops at a West Country farm and talks with the old farmer.
He tells the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for the EU water allocation directive".
The farmer says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there".
The Representative says, "Sir!, I have the full authority of the European Union with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land, NO questions asked or answered.
Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Shortly, thereafter the farmer hears loud screams and sees the representative running for his life followed close behind by the farmer's bull, who's gaining with every step.
The rep is clearly terrified, and is screaming for help, so the old farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....


"Your card! Show him your card! "
Click to expand...

you owe me a new laptop :)
 
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