What the flip next skipper

[DAKA]

Based on true story , (as always)


You decide due to gusty conditions to move slightly inland and explore a few Rivers/creeks and inlets but you find it a little remote and there aren't any fuel pontoons, running low on fuel you spot a Shell garage so drop anchor, launch the dinghy armed with a couple of jerry cans and make your way across a large cow field........

You fill your cans and head back; with tiring arms you stop at the Pub for refreshments which delays you a couple of hours , and its now getting dark as you find yourself in the middle of the cow field finding difficulty in spotting the mines, next your daughter asks why the big brown cow has a ring in its nose, you are all wearing your Bright red Helly Hansens .......... what next

 

[mikemcgregor]

Pour some fuel onto the ground and set it alight. That should keep Mr Bull at bay. Then retreat towards safety avoiding cow pats by the light of the fire.

 

[kid's inheritance]

Based on true story , (as always)


You decide due to gusty conditions to move slightly inland and explore a few Rivers/creeks and inlets but you find it a little remote and there aren't any fuel pontoons, running low on fuel you spot a Shell garage so drop anchor, launch the dinghy armed with a couple of jerry cans and make your way across a large cow field........

You fill your cans and head back; with tiring arms you stop at the Pub for refreshments which delays you a couple of hours , and its now getting dark as you find yourself in the middle of the cow field finding difficulty in spotting the mines, next your daughter asks why the big brown cow has a ring in its nose, you are all wearing your Bright red Helly Hansens .......... what next

Brown bull will be a beef bull so no problem, it's the black and white ones you worry about
Rob

 

[nickd]

what blissful ignorance
Any bull can be dangerous, different breeds are more placid than others, but when they want to a little "brown beef hereford" can get very stroppy and cause a lot of damage.
As long as you can see the bull and its not too close, continue walking dont run, try and get near the boundary for added cover to bolt to if necessary, do not get between him and his girlfriends, keep an eye on best points of refuge, if he starts snorting or pawing the ground head for refuge a normal pace, if he starts to move towards you then bolt for refuge.
Always bear in mind once they are up to speed they cannot turn easily so if he gets close a sudden change of direction should see him skidding past!
And it does not matter what colour you helly is, not to the bull anyway.

 

[DAKA]

Sorry about the lack of technical info

Red Limousin in Friesian herd .

 

[benjenbav]

Well, whatever you did it must've worked unless you are cowering under a hawthorn bush with your iPad and the bull stomping around snorting and pawing the ground.

 

[dabsolute470]

when he is charging at you just bend down and pick up a had full of human poo just behind you and throw it at him....

 

[SolentPhill]

Run at him banging the cans together, cows are very nosey animals and will always come over for a closer look, but the story is that as they see you walking away, you see them coming and walk faster then you run and they follow you. Its not always about them trying to attack you. Bulls can be protective and can appear nasty but as a regular dog walker you take control and they will leave you alone.

This only works if you are walking towards them, if they get the edge on you as your crossing a field and they come over you will need to be careful. The nasty one are the herefords these are the big brown and white ones.

 

[adey]

Put your i-pad down for a mo. Now make two fists, leaving your index fingers straight. Put your hands each side of your head. Stamp your right foot three times then run at the bull, shouting and maintaining eye contact throughout.
Report back in five minutes.

 

[longjohnsilver]

Tell daughter to milk it whilst you scarper..........

 

[JKay]

when he is charging at you just bend down and pick up a had full of human poo just behind you and throw it at him....

Ace

 

[ARA]

By all the suggestions so far I think that we can conclude that there are no farmers on this forum however plenty of prospects for the 2012 Darwin awards

 

[rbcoomer]

Based on true story , (as always)


You decide due to gusty conditions to move slightly inland and explore a few Rivers/creeks and inlets but you find it a little remote and there aren't any fuel pontoons, running low on fuel you spot a Shell garage so drop anchor, launch the dinghy armed with a couple of jerry cans and make your way across a large cow field........

You fill your cans and head back; with tiring arms you stop at the Pub for refreshments which delays you a couple of hours , and its now getting dark as you find yourself in the middle of the cow field finding difficulty in spotting the mines, next your daughter asks why the big brown cow has a ring in its nose, you are all wearing your Bright red Helly Hansens .......... what next

We need more information - is the 'big brown cow' off the port or starboard quarter? Is it on a constant bearing or zig-zagging in front of you? I assume it's 'wind assisted'? Is it engaged in grazing or other activity that reduces it's ability to maneuver? Is there a rope attached to the ring and if so is the other end anchored to anything? If so, what type of 'something' and will it drag or bend?

Pictures would also be helpful - nothing to do with evaluating the predicament, we just need a good laugh...

 

[caiman]

On average,in the UK,five people/year are trampled to death by cattle.
Cheers

 

[Mike k]

I farm Sheep so slightly different ( well a lot) but i have worked with cows- imho the best thing is to move away smoothly and sharply towards a wall or other safe haven- away from all the livestock including the cows which are inquisitive and will naturally go towards you to see what you are made of.Shooeing with arms high and rapid movement and they back off- as for the bull split up and move quickly to safety if it runs -run quicker in a zig zag motion- well thats what i would do, unfortunately ( fortunately for me ) I have not had to test my methodology !!

 

[JKay]

Whip orf the red musto wave it at the bull an yell "Ooooooo Laaaayyyy"

 

[oceanfroggie]

What's the problem. Just walk calmly across the field.

 

[DAKA]

You can spot the boat from this thread and the replies

Whip orf the red musto wave it at the bull an yell "Ooooooo Laaaayyyy"

sports boat beer drinker


What's the problem. Just walk calmly across the field.

Semi dis, tea drinker


Pour some fuel onto the ground and set it alight. That should keep Mr Bull at bay. Then retreat towards safety avoiding cow pats by the light of the fire.

Sports boat , but I dont reckon a petrol owner would joke like this, I guess diesel sports boat

Brown bull will be a beef bull so no problem, it's the black and white ones you worry about
Rob

Very brave, single engine,no radar , risk taker
Well, whatever you did it must've worked unless you are cowering under a hawthorn bush with your iPad and the bull stomping around snorting and pawing the ground.

something sensible, frugal with fuel too


when he is charging at you just bend down and pick up a had full of human poo just behind you and throw it at him....

something large, not afraid to get hands mucky , banker / journalist perhaps

Run at him banging the cans together

Got to be a sports boat, wouldnt want to be caught out sailing in a narrow channel

Stamp your right foot three times then run at the bull

Sports boat, has to be a can of beer at the helm too



Tell daughter to milk it whilst you scarper..........
stealth boat , kept in tax free haven perhaps

we can conclude that there are no farmers on this forum
sensible but non committal, cant make his mind up which way to go, could be a raggie or jet ski


off the port or starboard quarter?

sports boat and a beer drinker

 

[kid's inheritance]

Well, can I do a raggie one then.
Wait 4 days for it to go. Eventually go and then recount how you diced with death AND it cost you nothing.

 

[ARA]

Nice one Daka. LOL

Definately wrong on the Raggie or Jet Ski conclusion thank goodness. Perhaps me being an ex farmer threw you. If it was a herd of pigs problem then I could have imparted some wise suggestions.