What is "YOUR LOT"! Advice please

[syd]

What is \"YOUR LOT\"! Advice please

Dear forum,
A thought has just come to me that I need your advice on.
I'm sitting here in my quiet corner unwrapping my brand new chart plotter, ordered only last Thursday, when a passing comment made by my wife last Wednesday came to mind, it went.....
"If you buy one more thing for that boat THATS YOUR LOT!"

What is "Your Lot" ?
Is it a sign of affection? Another way of saying she loves me ? What ?

Hope you can clear my confusion.

Cheers all

Sid

 

[mtb]

Re: Nearly there

Just a couple more expensive bits should do it ,then she'l be gone and then you'l have such freedome LOL LOL
Mick

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats
I want a big steel ex trawler / tug v/cheep or swap for tug

 

[paulineb]

but a cold bed .... nm

.

Pxx

 

[claymore]

Re: What is \"YOUR LOT\"! Advice please

The comment was made on Wednesday
The plotter was ordered Thursday.
Why are you asking this question because whatever the threat of "Your Lot" meant, you took no notice and so when the chartplotter is discovered, you will presumably do the same as no doubt you will do with my advice - go to your wife and say the following, "Hello, I've just bought a new chartplotter for the boat" The advice is designed to prevent you from spending hours of trying to find a way of telling her about it, digging yourself ever deeper into the hole which you began to create last Thursday.
Hope that helps.
JS

 

[paulineb]

Go on. Do it !!

Buy one more thing and let us know what happens ;-)

Pxx

 

[david_e]

Re: What is \"YOUR LOT\"! Advice please

It's a sign of affection Syd and you must take her at her word and not buy "one more thing" but lots more things. "After all darling you did say......" Then you will have no more problems in this area.

 

[billskip]

Re: but a cold bed .... nm

many ways of keeping warm ...and a lot cheaper..

Bill
www.aegeansailing.co.uk

 

[paulineb]

Re: but a cold bed ....

But not as much fun ;-)

Pxx

 

[claymore]

Re: but a cold bed ....

Oh, I don't know - I never slept on my own till I got married.

 

[BarryD]

YOURLOT - An explanation

Syd,

I'm most surprised that you are unaware what a "YOURLOT" is. In common with most wives I presume that yours has a shoe / boot need that closely matches the male need for flashing lights and beer.

A "YOURLOT" is a device that contains a small tame black hole and is used for the storage of shoes, boots and matching "must have but never worn" accessories. Prior to the invention of the YOURLOT in the early 90's items such as described were stuffed into black bin bags and then forced into lockers - causing many problems as the collected shoes would expand and act rather like a grappling hook and so mean that the bag could only be removed by ripping it open and taking the shoes out one at a time.

I think your wife is saying that if you buy one more thing for the boat, then she'd like a YOURLOT. Oblige her man, oblige her.

Barry D.

"No, No, no - come off the plane before entering the lock..."

 

[c_j]

Re: What is "YOUR LOT"! Advice please

Not really sure what "your lot" is but are you sure thats what she said. It may have been "If you buy one more thing for that boat thats shallot." Really only asking you to avoid buying equipment which is similar in colour to the pinkish hue of the shallot, a lesser known member of the onion family.

Have you been buying equipment of this colour? Rather than ask her the meaning which would only stir up a hornets nest, avoid anything red or pink in colour, ere towards the blues and darker grey.

Hope this helps.


CJ
chris@stone.uk.com

 

[tcm]

Oi! no more farmyard references pls, nm

 

[toobaz]

Re: What is \"YOUR LOT\"! Advice please

Your wife I believe is pointing out, that is your lot, suggesting that is not her lot or your childrens lot, if you have any?
Also what your wife is suggesting is that is your lot, which she can touch, throw out or part you from. On the other hand you can't touch her lot, because it's hers and not yours, she don't know when she will use that lot, but that lot will come into use at some point and the kids lot, well forget about that, because that's their lot and they could need that at any point.
My only advice to you and as your wife has kindly suggested to you, you need a bigger boat as you are coming up to level of your lot.


Baz

 

[ToMo]

Re: What is "YOUR LOT"! Advice please

Are you sure you heard her properly? - I can't find any reference in the 'Womans' Dictionary'; have a look for yourself!
1. Fine - This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. Incidentally, never use the word "fine" to describe how she looks. It will lead to one of the arguments mentioned above.
2. Five minutes - These words actually mean half an hour. It is the equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. Nothing - The word "nothing" means something and you should be on your guard immediately on hearing it uttered. It is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" is signal for an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine".
4. Go Ahead - Said in conjunction with raised eyebrows, it
actually means the opposite. The words "go ahead" are not permission to do something; on the contrary it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "fine."
5. Go Ahead - Said in conjunction with normal eyebrows, it
should not be confused with the granting of permission either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". It is normally preceded by a few seconds a raised eyebrow and the words "go ahead", followed by "nothing" and "fine". She will speak to you again in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
6. Loud Sigh - This is not actually a word, but it is an important form of communication between a man and woman. It is also very frequently misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing"!
7. Soft Sigh Again, not a word, but a statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
8. "Oh!" - This word - followed by any statement - heralds big trouble. For example, "Oh, I spoke to him about what you were up to last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, just run - do not walk. She will tell you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.
9. That's Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done.
"That's okay" is often used in conjunction with the word "fine" and a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". Don't be fooled, once she has had time to plan it out, you're in for some mighty big trouble.
10. Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's okay."
11. Thanks - The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome".
12. Thanks A Lot - "Thanks a lot" is dramatically different from "thanks".
A woman will say "thanks a lot" then she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "loud sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in some way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing".
You can see that the closest reference is 'thanks a lot' - perhaps that's what she said!
;-)
TôMö

 

[tcm]

Re: advice expert

You are making simple mistakes here. The "that's yer lot threat" is one of a simple series of a threats brought about by lack of proper treatment. But they can easily be corrected.

Two requirements :
1 you have to show how knowledgeable you are about techncal things, and let her discover how clueless she is in that department.
2 At the same time you must demonstrate how hopeless you are with domestic issues, and that she is much much better there.

For the latter part 2, you can start right away. Offer to help in the kitchen. If doing washing up, break several expensive plates. If doing the washing, chuck in a felt pen. If some friends come round, burn something or ruin something and then suggest a pizza. These are expensive but proven routes to never being asked to help again.

Now, the first item.
Ask for some help with the car. Open the car bonnet and ask her if there's any smoke whilst you rev the engine to ear splitting levels. Doing this on the boat works even better. She won't want to be involved with this at all.

Later, let the tyres down on her car and then point them out and ask her last time she checked them: she mumbles whilst you lecture on importance of safety checks and equipment.

Put dud batteries in the torch, and some more dud batteries wherever you keep spare batteries, so when she changes them it still won't work, so you do something and then it magically does work!

When she is off out in her car, use a spare remote from the window and lock the car as she tries to open it, and then when she comes out show her how to work the car.

Back in her car, loosen the fuse for her radio. A day or so later she'll mention it. You'll be able to fix it very quickly, to unalloyed praise. Careful - don't take out the fuse in case she goes to the car fixers instead of asking you first.

She will slowly realise how she must sensibly leave all technical matters including buying expensive boat stuff to you alone.