What happened next?

[ParaHandy]

Inspector Knacker reports ..

<I'll tell you what happened next.>

Harumph ... efter examining ra forensics ah've this tae report: wee jamiesy pic wus taken jist efter 12, mon wus an hour earlier. Therefore, and mind this is orra sub judashay, the evidence is that we'd already rescued muzzy 30 meenits or so earlier and sent him oan his way (with mair petrol - ah hiv fotografic evidensh orra this) tae bend ra wee scaldies ears orra some vital instruction fer ra cruise. wee jamiesy's pic is oan his return and efter the o/b has been unloaded (thon's ma airse) and muzzy's paddling back tae ra boarding situayshun ..

Noo .. in ma opeenyun, youse er scratching yer heid inviting muzzy where he'd like fiona; in a really sickofantic dsiplay of anguish efter nearly knocking aff ra cruise's maist prestijus partishipant ...

Yers sinsearly
J Knacker esq

 

[claymore]

Re: Inspector Knacker reports ..

Jings para
sec elyqueueshun
Youse cuid be yin o they wig-wearers nae borra. Ah'm tellin youse - did ye nefer fancy a change fae ra penshins and be a kind o' Jum Roqfort kindae feller?

Weel - whils whit ye say es a pack o' lies an nonsense - as usual ah hev tae say - ye've fair won ra day wi yer case fer ra proseecushin sae ah'm oot of hear - ma case es lost an ah bow tae yer superior courtroom abilities.
Ets guid tae ken tha' a' yer time spent in ra dock hes had some effect tae ra guid.

 

[beancounter]

The chap with the inflatable codpiece was saying "that's another fine mess you've got us in"...