Whan funny things have you said ie on the radio

A trainee Tower Controller of my acquaintance came out with a lovely spoonerism:
'Shuttle 6 Taxi, Tango to the holding point runway xx'. The giggling pilot replied; 'thanks, we'll do our best'.
 
I took a displacement vessel to Liverpool from Holyhead years ago
Notifying HH Coastgaurd before we left
'Holyhead coastgaurd etc, This is 'Roger That' etc over
'Roger That' go to channel 64 for routine Tarffic'
'This is 'Roger That' roger that Holyhead
'This is Holyhead coastgaurd 'Roger That'
'Roger that Holyhead Coastgaurd'
'On Passage to Liverpool from Holyhead , Holyhead'
3 Adults on board ETA Liverpool 16.45 '
'Roger that Roger That, have a good trip notify Liverpool on your arrival
the two Chaps with me were in tucks
Holyhead Coastguard fair play, we could just 'hear' a faint giggle on the VHF
I couldn't bloody resist
'Roger' or roger that stricktly speaking is NOT part of the VHF malarkey but I notice boaters and coastguards do use 'roger' in the Transmissions these days
I think the Officer on the Day must have watched the Film 'Aircraft' he really did play along quite nicely!
:D
'
 
Something I overheard rather than said – yes I know I shouldn’t and it's childish but it’s worth recounting.

We were on a flotilla with several boats including one with a hapless crew. They’d already lost their ’phone charger so all comms when away from the lead boat was by VHF.
Whilst safely moored to a quay, the lady of the boat radioed a concerned report that there were taking on water. Unusually the water was coming through the side of the heads cabin.
They were filling the water tank at the time and the lead crew responded that the skipper had put his hose in the wrong hole and was using the waste outlet by mistake, which it wasn’t designed for or even connected.
 
Thought I'd posted this but it seems not....

This occurred whilst working as the Mate on a high speed ferry where it was customary to do the safety and welcome announcement form the bridge. On this particular vessel the VHF and PA handheld microphones were mounted within about 4" of each other and very similar in design.

We'd just departed the dock and I was multi tasking as I did the welcome announcement about life jackets, weather, facilities on board, etc. when I'd finished after about a minute or so the coastguard were calling us on ch16.,,

I had managed to do the entire safety and welcome message on ch16 instead of the PA!

W.
 
Solent CG was asking if anyone in the Chichester area could help a speedboat which had run out of fuel. 'Vessel's name is Plonker.' In further comms with helping vessels, the CG referred to 'The Plonker is in position...'
 
Ever heard Bob Newharts sketch, the Grace B Ferguson Airline Company? Brilliant. You are a passenger on a 707 going to Hawii, and the captain has just finished a flight update. Forgetting to switch the PA off, you hear..."Well, your'e the damned navigator, you should know where the hell we are!" Then, a short while later.... "Ladies and gentlemen, has anyone ever been to Hawii before? It's kind of kidney shaped from the air isn't it?" He was a great comedian, and his driving instructor and bomb disposal expert sketches are legendary.
 
Not over marine, but when I was stationed shore.

On base patrol, came across a Jag parked on double yellows, outside the control office.

My mate "look at that idiot, shall we give him a ticket?"

Me : "Control, there is an illegally parked Jag, permission to issue a ticket? Over"

Control "Are you a ******* moron? You will not ticket HRH, get back here right now. OVER"

Me : "He is parked on double yellows. Over"

Control "His Mother owns the ******** land, get back here NOW. OVER and OUT"

I then spent the afternoon sweeping the main drag, miserable sod!
 
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