Training (humour)

DepSol

New member
Joined
6 Oct 2001
Messages
4,524
Location
Guernsey
Visit site
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!! OPEN TO MEN ONLY!

Evening classes for men. Starting this month!
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their
contents, each
course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.

Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays.
Step by step with slide presentation.

Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders?
Round-table discussion.

Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate or fly
into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.

Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant
other.
Helpline and support groups.

Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in
the right
place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open forum.

Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to
your health.
Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost.
Real-life testimonials.

Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she
parallel parks?
Driving simulation.

Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and
wife.
Online class and role playing.

Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays,
anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're
going to be
late.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

CLASSES FOR WOMEN...

Women think they already know everything, but wait...training
courses are
now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman HasGone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The
Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet
too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without
Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women
notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only


<hr width=100% size=1>Dom

2003 is going to be a good year for me
 

Nick2

New member
Joined
8 Nov 2002
Messages
1,174
Location
Gerrards Cross
Visit site
Please email application form (for Joanne)

;-)

Nick

<hr width=100% size=1>Just can't understand why I'm not allowed to bring my new dinghy into the house.....
 
Top