Three types of sailor

[AuntyRinum]

I've come to the conclusion that there are three types of recreational sailor.

Type 1
Likes boats but doesn't like sailing them much. Given to spending a great amount of time adding bits of kit, varnishing, painting, polishing and tinkering with the engine. Boat spends most of its time on a mooring or in a boatyard. Is usually an authority on anything to do with boats and sailing. Likes tradition. Often has a beard, smokes a pipe and wears one of those little peaked skipper caps.

Type 2
Likes sailing but isn't very interested in boats or tradition. Sails a great deal, is either crew or boat owner. If a boat owner, boat is usually in a run down condition but does a lot of miles. If crew, wouldn't be seen dead in anything except this year's oilies, fleece, deck shoes and sunglasses. This type gets very agitated at the sight of a blue ensign or a little peaked skipper cap. Is usually an authority on anything to do with racing.

Type 3
Likes sailing, has a strong feeling for boats and tradition. Sails whenever time and weather allow. Wears either a red or blue ensign. Rarely seen wearing one of those little peaked skipper caps.
Never presents themself as an expert but can usually give a useful opinion. Tends to leave moorings with minimum fuss and shouting. Boat usually in good order but the brightwork could do with a touch up.

Which type am I? Can't say, we never see ourselves as others see us.


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[claymore]

Obviously you\'ve never sailed with Jimi nm

.

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=purple>regards
Claymore<font color=purple>
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[Oldhand]

I would think most Hillyard owners are type 3, so I suggest tht's what you must be Brett

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[claymore]

Or ParaHandy nm

.

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=purple>regards
Claymore<font color=purple>
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[Peppermint]

Re: It\'s true. Three types of sailor

The Bore who rabbits on about his particular hobby horse.

The Bullsh*tter who's been there before you, has a bigger one than you, knows a double barreled knight and if you've got one he's got two of them.

The Invisible Man who just gets on with it and nobody knows he's about.

Oh! my god I'm number 2.

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[jimi]

Re: It\'s true. Three types of sailor

What's a double barrelled knight, is it a variation on the kringlick system of spinnaker drop?

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[AndrewB]

Type 4?

Rarely to be found closer to a yacht than propping up the club bar, particularly in more traditional yacht clubs. The ultimate authority, able to put you right on every point of sailing, straight from the mouth of their old mate Ellen/Tracey/Pete (Max/Uffa/Chay if of the older school).

"Temporarily" between boats themselves, they display extraordinary reluctance if you invite them for a sail. Should you manage to entice them down to the marina (the club bar has run out of beer?) they will however helpfully rearrange all your running rigging for you, along scientific principles, so that when you next grab the cleat that for years has held the kicking strap, the spinnaker falls down.

If you do actually get them out, they become strangely incapacitated in the lee berth, due, they explain, to an unexpected flareup of an old stomach injury received in the ‘79 Fastnet. But on return to harbour, they have recovered sufficiently to test your man-overboard skills when demonstrating how Robin Knox-Johnson ties on his fenders.

 

[Peppermint]

Re: Crikey

Don't get me started on RKJ and his fenders.

Are you getting warm yet Jimi?

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[jimi]

Re: Crikey

Soddin freezin' air conditionings gone hyperactive.

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[Twister_Ken]

Type 5

Between 19 and 25 years old, depending on whether they are pre or post university. Invariable blond-alike, with a waist to die for, their oilies are up-to-date, and they wear lttle leather bootees. Paid a fortune for a fast track YM course, and now they can tie a bowline one-handed upside-down behind their back, identify the lights for a tug flying off aircraft while sweeping for mines, and climb the mast using only hands and feet. As the course didn't cover social graces or common sense, you try never to share a cabin with one, or enter a drinking competition. They don't mind breaking things or dropping bits over the side, because the owner can afford it.

They don't go sailing for fun, only for money, and then they moan about how poorly paid they are.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[Vara]

Wouldn't like to categorise myself,but had the good fortune to be berthed along side a category one for a few years.
Slightest problem ,just by chance he had the manual,the right tool,and had done just that job or something similar,and was more than happy to share his expertise.
Worth his weight in gold or the half pints ! of Harveys he drank by way of payment.
Didn't have a cap but did smoke a pipe.

<hr width=100% size=1>If it can't be fixed with a lump hammer dont fit it!

 

[janie]

Mmmmh

Just in case you were characterising us as Type 2, Brett, none of the crew have anything approaching new oilies, and we have a brand new mainsail (not all rundown!). However the blue ensign and peaked cap agitation rings true!

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[IanR]

Type 6

Those people who spend their time cyber sailing and consider the issues of red white and blue ensigns and hoisting orders of burgees to be of critical import.

Perhaps there should be a virtual channel crossing with Type 6's logging on at 05:30 for the weather forecast and then receiving tidal vectors every half hour they could have a docking competition online and there could then be a virtual piss up at the end

From the armchair straight to the marina

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[pragmatist]

Type 7

The hugely enthusiastic young chap who regales you with tales of derring-do. 60 knots is nothing to him in a small boat. He'e been there and done that - wherever & whatever it may be. And of course he sails in the worst waters in the world.

<hr width=100% size=1>a pragmatist is an optimist with a boat in the UK

 

[Cobra]

Surely...

...this is more a sub species of Type 4 rather than a unique species in its own right?

<hr width=100% size=1>When God invented time he didn't give me enough of it. ND!

 

[jimi]

Type 8 -- Bearded baldie

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[MainlySteam]

Type 9

Those that spend good boating time categorizing everyone else?

I thought it was summer over there.

John

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[Cornishman]

Reminds me...

... of the three types of Naval officer

1) RNR - Seaman but no gentleman,
2) RNVR - Gentleman but no seaman,
3) RN - Neither


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[TLOM]

Reminds me of the three types of doctor:

#1 The physician: who knows everything but does nothing
#2 The surgeon: who does everything but knows nothing
#3 The pathologist: who knows everything and does everything but 24hrs too late!

TLoM

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[AlexL]

Reminds me of the 2 types of people

1) those that catergorize the world into two types of people
2) those that don't

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