The worst skipper?

Re: Bet I\'m worse

This time last year sailing a 52 foot ketch from Hamilton Island to Sydney Harbour over 3 weeks, towards the end of trip near North Solitary Island a running backstay slipped unnoticed over the port side.
Seas building and storm turned into a Force 7/8 eventually and that was when the rope decided to stall the 5 cylinder Gardiner Diesel.
Brave skipper? dived over and cut enough rope off the prop to enable a restart and limp along till the storm abated, about 6 hours later.
Very worrying

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This is from a few years ago.

Matts yarn about his trip with Collin led me to remember a voyage I made about three years ago. It was late in the year and me and th-wife had set off from Plymouth for a three day cruise.We decided to go west cos the wind was from the east and it would'nt be as bumpy. To cut a long story short and try to get to the point of the story. The wind stay'd in the east we kept going west and when we ran out of land ( at Lands End ) did a right to keep on the lea shore and finished up in Stourport. (just short of Birmingham). We decided this would be a good place to leave the boat for the winter, and it now being only about 130 miles from home in Lancashire we could use it all winter. Especialy cos there was a lovely friendly club house at the marina. About this point(and some mounths later) in the proceadings. Th-wife decides to go all menopausal on me, so I spent most of the winter on the boat to keep out of the way of the dragon. I got to know many of the river and banana (narrow boat) boaties quite well. One day early spring I was asked if I would help bring a boat back from the Isle of White for the son of one of the banana boaters.
He. Hear in they all thought i'd made it up but honest gospel trueth

The crew was selected on the basis of, who could skip work for a few day's, with banana boat man as captain cos it was his sons boat and anyway I think he'd once been on a ferry. WE plotted course on my boats sat-nav in Stourport. Tied my dinghy on the roof of an ancient merc. (Cos it made a good roof rack) and at four in the morning, five of us squeezed into it for the trip to the Isle of White. It broke down countless times but finaly we ends up a few miles up rive from Cowes. THE BOAT. 56ft, 54 tons ex admiralty liberty boat,previously owned and lived on by a drug adict. Theres an Aga Cooker chuffing away with no chimney cos drug adict has flogged it, the galley was made out of orange boxes whilst drug adict was having a bad trip! the toilet in the corner of the er---saloon was behind a curtain, held up with a washing line. The wheel house is about three feet square and consists of a wheel, gear leaver and a compass, with one screw holding it down. (so you can turn it any way round you fancy). At this time the captain takes command and slowly takes on the roll of captain Blye. Fuel is discussed and we're going to pick some up down river, before setting off for Salcolme some 80-90- miles away (this is the first time this boat has moved since the navy had it). Captain sets off a bit slowly Cos the back end's still tied up and the pontoon's comming with us. It was at this point that I started to have slight doubts about this trip!! Off we go down river, the fuel station disapearing a stern. Out into the Solent and the big stew pot on the Aga takes a tumble cos nobody on the boat has been on anything rougher than the Leeds to Liverpool canal. I've been demoted to cabin boy cos I made noises about compasses and fuel and lights and things for a fifteen hour night crossing to Salcolmbe. Anyway happily chugging down the Solent at about eight knots it's noticed that the prop shaft is wearing the stern away and water is comming in, so speed is reduced to six knots, which some what improves the situation. Captain decides to head for Poole and I get instant promotion to pilot cos I've been before and anyway I've got the charts. In poole I head for the fuel barge. Cant remember what the tank held, but we put in about twenty gallons more than full!!. So god knows how we'de have got to Salcolmbe!!! Captain takes the helm Again and trys to remove the rails on an eight ton bouy. Fifty six tons meeting eight tons is quite something!! Off to the chip shop in pool for supper. Captain decides we'll set off for poole around mid night. I point out that I've never been out of Poole at night and with all the lights from cars and street lights it's hard to find the way and in any case this boat wont stop in less than two hundred yards. So lets go now whilst we can still see. Needless to say I'm back in cabin boy mode. Off captain goes totaly ignoring the fair way and heads through the middle of the moorings. Somebody rushes to the bow and franticly waves left and right as the moored craft loom into sight from the pitch black night.We did a circular tour of Poole harbour about three times before comming across the Cherbourg ferry, so captain decides to follow it out of the harbour We've got two micky mouse hand held GPS's neither of which we could get a position out of. Captain did'nt believe in all that rubbish anyway and said " You can go anywhere off a compass" The fact that this one spent most of the time rolling about on the floor and the crew put it back on it's stand in various positions, had little significance.

We plotted a course and captain went to bed. Son's wife is histerical cos she's only been on a canal boat before and it's pitch black, miles out at sea and rolling about a bit. Anyway with captain fast asleep I try to get a bit of order and make this tub a bit more sea worthy. The piece of string holding the steel cable to the rudder got fixed And I tried many times to get the captains son who was the mechanic (and had the tools) to mend the compass. But he had no interest in the compass.

Some time in the middle of the night we got one of the GPS's working and changed course a couple of times till I could see the headland Off Salcolmbe in the early morning gloom. Captain wakes up and announces "there you are. You can go anywhere off a compass". By this time I've been up most of the night. the choice for sleeping was in the fore cabin with the sons wife and the Aga Cooker filling the place with smoke and not much heat or the aft cabin filled with rubbish and spare parts and freezing cold. The captain slept in the engine room which was the cleanest and warmest place on the boat. I started grumbling about breakfast and a cup of tea would be nice, About an hour later it arrived, Raw sausage butties and luke warm tea. Salcolme. Hunt round for a stove to replace the Aga. One of the crew comes back with a second hand primos. then off to the yatch club for shower and food.

Three am. and captain's ready for off. Points UP river and declares " there's the lights it's easy" I go opposite way over the bar and out to sea. Captain takes over cos I'm grumbling Again cos all the smoke from the Aga is blowing into the wheel house and I cant see the channel and cant breath either. We leave him in there for a couple of hours to stew. Meanwill the crews got the primos in the saloon. and are trying to light it with the petrol for my out board. Flames five foot high and rolling about the floor.

We're heading for Falmouth. Lets say it was 70deg. With the Edistone lighthouse half way across. Son and wife have had enough of miles out at sea so captain takes the scenic route around the coast. this is ok but at five-six knot's it doubles the journey time. In the mean time back at the ranch. The sea's built up to a good force six/seven and the coast is disapearing in the rain. The captain is telling the crew to steer 70deg. This might have been ok from Salcolmbe but we're now somewhere off looe!! No way can I tell him he's wrong and the crew dont know any better. We're now heading for the rocks between Fowey and Falmouth with a big following sea. When they came into view. Captain and his now first mate ( Cos he dosent know any better so dos'nt argue) decides that you've got to ease the boat round slowly, (cos they saw it in a film somwhere) and anyway they dont like the look of the big folowing sea. An hour later. the boats still heading for the rocks and the captains still going to ease it round. Things are now getting a bit serious. Captain's wedged in the three foot square wheel house. The rest of the crew are petrifide in the saloon which dos'nt have a door but a ladder and hatch like a submarine.I've had enough, so telling the crew "it's going to bounce a bit I'm through the hatch dodge the waves coming over the deck and get into the wheel house with the captain. the compass is on the floor but there is'nt room to bend down and pick it up. I can see the day marker which is a big red and white tower off Fowey so I know where I'm heading for. Captain's face is now ash white but at least some of the arrAgance has gone. After screaming a bit I get him to put the wheel hard over and give the engine some stick. The boat comes round fine apart from upsetting the crew down in the hold and the chiefe mechanic complaining about the prop shaft. About hundred yards off Fowey the hand held VHF comes into range and Fowey radio asks if we are having trouble getting into harbour. "No" says the captain "we've just been fishing", "Well will you let us know when you're leaving" came the reply. I booked my self into the King of Persia for the night. and caught the train the next morning. The boat did eventualy arrive at Stourport after some arguments with another bouy, a rock, and some mud. And I think Lands End is a bit shorter than it used to be.

This story is purely ficticious and the cast bare no resemblence to any person living or dead and If you've noticed I cant spell!!

<hr width=100% size=1> No one can force me to come here. I'm a volunteer!!.

Haydn
 
I was sailing an Italian 62ft ketch in the Far East a few years ago. The skipper was a miserable old chap, who used to shout "casso" and "porca miseri" at the crew. He did a few things of note:

- Sailed most of the way round the world in the racing division of a rally without using nav lights, so the competition wouldn't see him

- Gave false position reports so the competition would be lulled into a false sense of security on their race position

- Tried to turn the prop by hand in a calm, to move us forward (the engine had been sealed by the race committee as we were racing)

- Shouted at the helmsman if we were more than 2deg off course (quite difficult in any sea!)

- Ran his ketch into the Great Barrier Reef on two separate rallies, damaging the rudder on both occasions

There was one incident which really springs to mind - we were caught in a squall off Malaysia, and the wind went from nothing to a peak of 53 knots in a matter of 30 seconds. He was on the helm when it hit, and his glasses steamed up. Shouting "I can't see! I can't see!", he proceeded to bear us away and gybe the boat. Result, snapped runners and we were lucky not to lose the rig, or any crew. I was the only one with a harness on (my own) - there were none on board for the rest of the crew, and no-one knew where the lifejackets were.

Suffice to say, I left the boat soon after. I think I was about the 20th crew to leave the boat so far on that trip.

All good experience :o)

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amazing.

I think I would have jumped at the fuel pontoon.

Does he still go to sea.

Reading these Forae I am always amazed about antics that go on, I thought I was bad, but bloody hell!

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Apparently, the only other time he'd been to sea. He ran out of fuel and finnished up with the boat beached and had to walk miles for more fuel. Soppose he has stuck to the canals since, but dont realy know. Glad I've not met him since!!

<hr width=100% size=1> No one can force me to come here. I'm a volunteer!!.

Haydn
 
Re: I\'ve just been told its me...

I'm the worst skipper.

Picture the scene. I'm running a big old twin cockpit racing boat with a crew of inexperienced but paying guests. I'd broke then in slowly the first day, got them used to the boat and the way of things. They want to go to Cherbourg and as the forecasts SW4 I can't see why not. It all goes pretty well for the first couple of hours and then the wind builds and heads us. They insist they're happy but one by one they fade away into bunks of mal de mere. I'm left on deck with two guys who redefine useless. They're upright though but neither of them can steer a course. One is in my good books cos he keeps the tea coming the other is an italian guy with very little english. He curls up behind me in the steering cockpit and stares fixedly ahead. Now the cockpit is very exposed and I'm getting the full benefit of a channel jet wash. My eyes are a bit sore and I keep having to gob salty water off leeward. When we got her tied up in Cherbourg the crew come to life and go ashore. The italian guy won't come back. All because of me. Apparently he was petrified for the whole trip and everytime I gobbed the salty water it hit him square in the chops. He's convinced I did it on purpose cos he's useless so he's turned it into an opera. We talked him round in the end but he never stood behind me again.

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Re: I\'ve just been told its me...

"mal de mere"
Sick of their mothers? /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

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Thats quite scary - and you were to go to Gib???

On a much closer to home theme, one of my best mates is an awful skipper - as in perpetually awful. Even though he now has his yachtmaster theory.

OK - the following is a few years old and is really a speed-boat thing but...He bought a Shetland and ran it aground up a sandbank. I had to launch my boat to retrieve him and family. A few weeks later, he was aground again - same sandbank!

Then one day we went out on my boat. He was driving and I was waterskiing. This time, I had fitted GPS with a load of deep water markings as waypoints (just think of this as simple as dot-to-dot). At 120 feet away to stern being towed along, he couldn't hear me screaming at him to avoid an easily avoidable sandbank....

Yep straight into it - same sandbank!!

Err, no - he hasn't helmed my Windy since I ought it 16 months ago!

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Wow, sounds like a real headcase!

Reminds me of a guy who boats near us who took to sea in a floating petrol bomb due to a leaking pump spewing fuel into the engine bilges - when alerted to the strong smell of petrol whilst alongside a pontoon he dismissed it as vent fumes!

Same guy managed to execute a most spectacular, head-first dive off his trailer on a slipway whilst recovering his boat in full view of a marina full of tourists. (Lost points for artistic impression because when he re-surfaced he didnt have a mullet between his teeth!)

On another ocassion this guy was returning to his boat in his tender after a "busy" evening in a bar when he accepted an invitation to board a friends boat for a night cap. The weather went from bad to worse and, after a couple of whiskeys our intrepid hero decided to complete the short journey to his boat. However his tender, which he had left tied by its painter to a guard rail, had done a very good impression of a kite in the high wind and had turned upside down - submerging the outboard and tipping oars, petrol can and other assorted contents into the briney!

I wouldn't let him helm my rowing boat let alone a Windy!




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Re: Bet I\'m worse

maybe the worst skippers of all are singlehanders as there's no-one to restrain them.

we met a character at peterhead (NE scotland) in late october who had just been brought in by the lifeboat. he had been off aberdeen but had read the gps position out wrong when making the mayday call so the wrong lifeboat had gone out. he had just bought the boat and had almost no boating knowledge. he had gone out in his 24 ft boat in a force 6 and rising, about the same time as we headed for shelter in our 40 footer. the cockpit was frequently filled to the coamings and he was sitting chest-deep in water. eventually he decided it was too much so decided to run the boat up on the beach which he succeeded in doing.

the next day he floated the boat off the beach , minus rudder, and decided he could carry on by steering with the outboard. this worked ok for a time but as he hadn't tightened the clamps the motor fell off leaving him without steering. at this point he called the lifeboat.

despite all this he was still determined to continue his proposed trip to the med. i never heard any more but can't imagine he'd have made it across biscay in winter.

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Ah - but I bet you don't know the worst about this bloke...I have got a real photograph of him waterskiing whilst it is snowing one easter many years ago. And the boat he was on actually sank on the same day.

And talking of sinking...he quite often forgot to put the bung in the hole before launching. Luckily he always seems to have a friend on hand ready to dunk himself in to screw the bung in the hole. Bloody good job his Windy doesn't have a bung!!

And then there's the red wine...no, sorry, can't go there...

<hr width=100% size=1>Madoc Yacht Club
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All the stories reminded me of Irish chap I met at Perros Guirrec on our summer cruise this year.

Since I had just moored to an adjacent finger, my attention was initially drawn to his motor boat (about 35 ft long) as it had a couple of large oil drums on the patio area (don't what you call that area on stinkies) and a tangled mess of stainless steel and canvas that looked like they were originally a bimini. Then I noticed his boat was gently tapping on the pontoon because it had no fenders out (I later found out that it did have fenders, but they were on the opposite side).

I introduced myself and commented that he ought to put some fenders out if he wanted to keep the topsides looking fresh - he gave a vacant look and then proceeded into a discussion where I learnt
- he was completely new to boating and had bought his boat in Spain
- he did not know how to navigate, but could point the boat in the direction of the compass
- he got the extra fuel drums because someone had told he would not make it across the bay of Biscay on a full tank
- he hit some rough weather in Biscay and the boat juddered and made some incredible bangs and odd noises when falling off the big waves
- No, he hadn’t slowed down when waves became enormous
- The bimini/cockpit tent got damaged by the waves
- He was so frightened by the experience he didn’t want to go too far from land ever again
- He still needed to get the boat back to Ireland

To his last point, he then proceeded to ask me what was the best way to get to Ireland, but staying as close as possible to land. I suggested he ought to go via the channel islands, but he didn’t know where they were.

At this point, the marina staff came up to him and started talking to him quite strongly in their broken English. They we basically trying to explain to him that he needed to use the lock to enter the marina and that he must not go over the sill. For those that don’t know Perros Guirrec, it has an enormous sill to keep the water in and the only way in or out is to go through a lock on the far starboard side - this sill gets submerged at high tide so that you can only see yellow poles at regular distances marking its location. Apparently he didn’t know this and went straight over the sill, which resulted in a loud banging noise, followed by his boat not behaving very well. To give him his due he reckoned his must have damaged his props.

At this point I could not contain myself any longer and retreated back to the boat to break into fits of laughter whilst I tried to recount the encounter with the rest of the crew. Later that evening when we left the boat to go out there was a girl on this boat who called us over because she could not get off the boat as it was 5 feet away from the pontoon. The wind had changed direction to blow the boat off the pontoon and the incredibly loose bow and stern lines (no springs) allowed the boat to drift out. She had not figured out that she could pull herself in, so we pulled her in and cleated the lines off more tightly.

I did feel sorry for the guy, so I talked him through his proposed journey the next day – he sorted his fenders out and was going to get the props checked. He was actually a really nice guy, but so naïve that he was a walking disaster.

I do hope he made it OK.


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another i heard this season...

proud owner of new sports boat pulls up outside the pub. half way through the first round someone comes in to tell them the boat is drifting away...

"can't understand it, i left it in gear"

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Not at all true John you are a pleasure to be with. As usual on your boat it's you up the back and me down the front.

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