The Most Rubbish 'Mayday' You've Heard?

2 miles out of Troon Marina.... "All on board have seasickness".
To my amazement, a RNLI resource was launched!

Not rubbish if the entire crew were so incapacitated as to put the vessel in danger.

The RNLi prefer to attend an incident before it becomes a major one. They prefer to rescue seasick sailors to recovering dead ones!
 
2 miles out of Troon Marina.... "All on board have seasickness".

Seasickness can be utterly debilitating. I'm fortunate in that I'm not especially susceptible and have never been that bad myself, but I've been on boats where crew (and once a YMI skipper, fortunately with an experienced crew) have been too incapacitated to communicate let alone safely navigate. If they couldn't safely operate the vessel or keep an effective lookout, some kind of call was surely appropriate?
 
Were you there?


Were you on the vessel? If not, 'the most rubbish mayday you've heard' really only highlights your ignorance of safety at sea. Most RNLI or Coastguard operators would much rather hear and react to a 'rubbish' Mayday from a boat with a working VHF realising they are in difficulty than spend all night looking for a vessel who's crew 'pushed on through' and ended up aground, lost or worse.

A 'pan, pan' may have been a better call but the reaction to it, in reality, is much the same. It's great we have emergency services available but if they are there don't be afraid to use them. Anything other than a false/malicious callout, no RNLI/Coastguard crews mind reacting to. What they do mind is people without a VHF or lifejackets or liferafts or people who hide the fact they are in trouble because of some misplaced embarrassment.
 
We were at anchor in the Crouch and heard the following Mayday which went roughly........

Coast Guard: Can you describe the emergency sir?

Caller: It's leaning over and she doesn't like it

CG: Please explain

Caller: We stopped for lunch and now the boat is leaning over and she doesn't like it

CG You mean the tide has gone out and you're aground?

Caller: I knew it went in and out but I didn't know it went up and down.........

After that the Coastguard established there was no risk at all and suggested they wait for the tide to come back in.........Honestly that's exactly what we heard.
 
Sneering at "rubbish maydays" might discourage inexperienced mariners from asking for help.

+1

Also dont forget your src has a privacy clause prohibiting disclosing VHF traffic ... so if anything its the OP who's in the wrong imho.
 
Always a difficult subject to judge if a Mayday is or is not a Mayday as its down to the judgement of the crew and the Skipper at the time in the circumstances that find themselves in. One mans (or womens) emergency is another mans matter of course. My view FWIW is that in the case of any incident its better to call it in and feel a bit of an over reactor afterwards, than not do it and end up in greater trouble.
 
One I hear often on nice afternoons or early evenings with light breeze.

Mayday,Maday Flat battery, out of fuel, Vessel desciption white sail boat.

RCC response, will you accept comercial assistance. We will put out a broadcast.

Why waste emergency resourse time it may be needed for a real emergency.
 
One of the funniest Maydays I have heard.

Tug, “Mayday Relay, Mayday Relay, Mayday Relay“
RCC “What is the nature of the distress”
Tug. “There’s a S!#$%’s rental boat on top of my log tow”
RCC “ Can you give a description of boat and see how many persons on board”
Tug “Oh just one of those dam rental boats and a couple of dummies”
RCC “Can you communicate with them are there any injuries“
Tug “Oh There communicating all right no injuries just pretty mad”
RCC “can you assist the boat”
Tug “ I have I’m calling you to let S!#$%’s Know where there boat is and customers are OK”,”If they want then back they can to send someone out to get them otherwise were heading for N#$%^”

It happens every so often that one was funny unfortunately there was a similar call recently with a fatality after a boat ran into a log tow at high speed one night.
 
+1

Also dont forget your src has a privacy clause prohibiting disclosing VHF traffic ... so if anything its the OP who's in the wrong imho.

You are prohibited from disclosing the content of transmissions not intended for you. A Mayday call is, by definition, intended for all stations.
 
My apologies to any respondents who took this tongue-in-cheek thread seriously.
I am alarmed that I have perhaps put lives at risk by discouraging novice sailors to call for help.
Perhaps I could save lives by encouraging incompetents to remain on shore until they fully grasp the essential basics of sailing?
 
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