tcm
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As anyone who has been on a boat (even just a ferry) knows, mooring up is always a bit of a stress. You aren't going to crucnh the boat out at sea (unless you are BrendanS leaping off waves or buoy-clearing like hlb) but even if you are, it will still be a stress coming in to park. For brendan and hlb, they'll have to expain what happend to their slightly-busted boat. And for everyone else, there's often an argument about whether to calll it "parking" or "mooring" or "berthing" or "mooring up". Well, not really an argument. A discussion. Someone pipes up that it can't be called "mooring up", cos setting off is never called "mooring down", is it? Which is quite an interesting point. Well, no actually, it isn't, I'm just humouring you dear, in the vain hope that you'll shut up, get the fenders out, and can we discuss the semantics later? Because we're now a bit closer to mooring up. Alright, yes, we're a bit closer to parking.
The absolute worst thing about parking is that some marinas want you to call them. Sometimes you just have to callem, cos there a lock. But why is this bad? Well, it's bad because they sometimes come down to help you in. It needs steely nerves to hang about for ages in the fairway when the harbourmasty or marinero type bod is standing on the quay. Sure, they are patient people. But I mean, you can't sort-of pack it in, and go and sit over there on the fuel dock for a little while while the wind dies, can you? Well, yes you can, but it's not very nice. At the very least, it's a little teeny bit more pressure, isn't it? And have you done all the fenders yet? Yes, of course we need them on both sides. Yes, I know you know what you're doing, which is why I am surprised you asked whether we needem on both sides.
To my complete delight - and with measurable improvement- I discovered Silent Mooring. Silent Mooring means just that - not a word passes anyone's lips. Or least, not the crews lips, but don't tellem that.
It's best to try this in a berth with which you are familar. Or very familiar, to start. Your crew need to use hand signals to indicate how far away you are from the pontoon, which looks terribly professional, and is far more helpful. No more useless messages such as "aargh, Quick Quick go backwards!" when are at the stern, so they meant go forwards. "I mean forwards!" You just get a count down of five fingers, four, three, two, one. You can guess if they mean feet or metres, so not to worry about that.
Silent mooring moring has other advantages. Because it's often ooh, a bit better in that berth over there, rather than over here. Which means the fenders have to be moved. Cue more discussions about you making your bloody mind up, and potenetial niggly foredeck arguments about how to tie the fenders so you can untie them quickly (but they sometimes fall in) or do them with a round turn and two half hitches, especially the big expensive ones, but which then take ages to move. All these discussions are outlawed - the fenders simply get moved. Silently. Oh joy.
There are lots more benefits to Silent Moring. For example, if there are any bystanders, the crew just indicate a silent mooring in progress with a finger to their lips. This bemuses the bystander who is suddenly a bit less confident about whatis going on, so neatly avoids having to fling a line attem for them to muck uop everything.
And even if the whole mooring goes the way of the pear and you crucnh the boat - there's not anywhere near as much embarassment IF you do so in silence. The watching crowd looks askance, but there are no shrieks from the crew. They must have meant to do that, perhaps? Yes indeed, the know-alls amongst them quietly explain to others in the watching crowd - look, that's how they adjust the davits - by reversing hard against a concrete pontoon at approximately five knots.
I strongly believe that Silent Mooring improves your game, and de-stresses the mooring process. And i don't think I'm the only one who believes that we sometimes need a bit more concentrartion of the job in hand, and a bit less chatting. It folows the excellent example set by the late Enoch Powell, who visited a barbers for a hairtcut. And how, asked the barber, would he like his hair to be cut? "In total silence!"
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The absolute worst thing about parking is that some marinas want you to call them. Sometimes you just have to callem, cos there a lock. But why is this bad? Well, it's bad because they sometimes come down to help you in. It needs steely nerves to hang about for ages in the fairway when the harbourmasty or marinero type bod is standing on the quay. Sure, they are patient people. But I mean, you can't sort-of pack it in, and go and sit over there on the fuel dock for a little while while the wind dies, can you? Well, yes you can, but it's not very nice. At the very least, it's a little teeny bit more pressure, isn't it? And have you done all the fenders yet? Yes, of course we need them on both sides. Yes, I know you know what you're doing, which is why I am surprised you asked whether we needem on both sides.
To my complete delight - and with measurable improvement- I discovered Silent Mooring. Silent Mooring means just that - not a word passes anyone's lips. Or least, not the crews lips, but don't tellem that.
It's best to try this in a berth with which you are familar. Or very familiar, to start. Your crew need to use hand signals to indicate how far away you are from the pontoon, which looks terribly professional, and is far more helpful. No more useless messages such as "aargh, Quick Quick go backwards!" when are at the stern, so they meant go forwards. "I mean forwards!" You just get a count down of five fingers, four, three, two, one. You can guess if they mean feet or metres, so not to worry about that.
Silent mooring moring has other advantages. Because it's often ooh, a bit better in that berth over there, rather than over here. Which means the fenders have to be moved. Cue more discussions about you making your bloody mind up, and potenetial niggly foredeck arguments about how to tie the fenders so you can untie them quickly (but they sometimes fall in) or do them with a round turn and two half hitches, especially the big expensive ones, but which then take ages to move. All these discussions are outlawed - the fenders simply get moved. Silently. Oh joy.
There are lots more benefits to Silent Moring. For example, if there are any bystanders, the crew just indicate a silent mooring in progress with a finger to their lips. This bemuses the bystander who is suddenly a bit less confident about whatis going on, so neatly avoids having to fling a line attem for them to muck uop everything.
And even if the whole mooring goes the way of the pear and you crucnh the boat - there's not anywhere near as much embarassment IF you do so in silence. The watching crowd looks askance, but there are no shrieks from the crew. They must have meant to do that, perhaps? Yes indeed, the know-alls amongst them quietly explain to others in the watching crowd - look, that's how they adjust the davits - by reversing hard against a concrete pontoon at approximately five knots.
I strongly believe that Silent Mooring improves your game, and de-stresses the mooring process. And i don't think I'm the only one who believes that we sometimes need a bit more concentrartion of the job in hand, and a bit less chatting. It folows the excellent example set by the late Enoch Powell, who visited a barbers for a hairtcut. And how, asked the barber, would he like his hair to be cut? "In total silence!"
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