LizzyD
Well-Known Member
Since I bought Lizzy two years ago, her inventory included a ropey old Suzuki 2hp outboard which sat on a bracket at the pushpit. According to the previous owner, it hadn't worked for a while and as I already have a working o/b motor in the garage, I never bothered with it, intending to remove it and dump at some point.
Also included in the inventory was a broken and truely b*gg**ed autohelm. Having cut the wires from the tiller arm, I used it to hold the tiller in a central position when the boat was at her berth, to stop it flailing around whilst in the water.
I went to visit Lizzy today and to my surprise, some slack-jawed, spot-riddled disaster of genetics has been on Lizzy and nicked both the sha**ed out old outboard and the equally defunct autohelm arm.
This story has two points of view. The first is that all of us need to be aware that this "walking excrement" is prowling around our clubs looking for stuff to hawk in pubs, with rods and reels usually the prime target. It suppliments the Giro for methodone I suppose. But the fact that they've clambered onto Lizzy to have a go has incensed me. Lizzy is MY boat that I've worked and saved for, and duff engine or not, it was MY engine and not theirs to take. Personally, I would like to snap the bones in their fingers - one at a time - so that they can ponder over their theiving ways over the weeks that they heal. Sadly, I'm not allowed to do that so it's just a quiet fantasy of mine - a bit like dating Angelina Jolie, winning the lottery, or marrying the heiress to the Strongbow dynasty.
Of course, the second point of view is that somehwere on this planet, some thieving cockroach is desperately trying to get an engine started which is completely ****** (been made love to)! I wish I could see his vain efforts at starting it in the hopes of a bargain sale in his local pub. This human bacteria will have the shock of his life, probably in about two months as they're usually so thick it takes a while for their brain(?) to compute. How I'd love to see the look on his toothless, dirt engrained, foul-breathed, interbred face.
So in the highly unlikely event that the thief should be reading this, (bloody unlikely - unless it's a betting slip or a DSS claim form - that the nematode will have a clue), thank you for ridding me of an old engine which I was too lazy to dispose of, especially after all of the effort required to saw through the rustiest padlock I've ever seen, and all under the cover of darkness. I salute you - with both fingers.
A reminder to us all that these human germs, with all the value to society as a Zimbabwean dollar, are out there and watching our craft for something to take.
I've got an old settee I need to get rid of. I wonder if I can fit it into the cockpit?
Don't have nightmares. Do sleep well.
Lizzy D
Also included in the inventory was a broken and truely b*gg**ed autohelm. Having cut the wires from the tiller arm, I used it to hold the tiller in a central position when the boat was at her berth, to stop it flailing around whilst in the water.
I went to visit Lizzy today and to my surprise, some slack-jawed, spot-riddled disaster of genetics has been on Lizzy and nicked both the sha**ed out old outboard and the equally defunct autohelm arm.
This story has two points of view. The first is that all of us need to be aware that this "walking excrement" is prowling around our clubs looking for stuff to hawk in pubs, with rods and reels usually the prime target. It suppliments the Giro for methodone I suppose. But the fact that they've clambered onto Lizzy to have a go has incensed me. Lizzy is MY boat that I've worked and saved for, and duff engine or not, it was MY engine and not theirs to take. Personally, I would like to snap the bones in their fingers - one at a time - so that they can ponder over their theiving ways over the weeks that they heal. Sadly, I'm not allowed to do that so it's just a quiet fantasy of mine - a bit like dating Angelina Jolie, winning the lottery, or marrying the heiress to the Strongbow dynasty.
Of course, the second point of view is that somehwere on this planet, some thieving cockroach is desperately trying to get an engine started which is completely ****** (been made love to)! I wish I could see his vain efforts at starting it in the hopes of a bargain sale in his local pub. This human bacteria will have the shock of his life, probably in about two months as they're usually so thick it takes a while for their brain(?) to compute. How I'd love to see the look on his toothless, dirt engrained, foul-breathed, interbred face.
So in the highly unlikely event that the thief should be reading this, (bloody unlikely - unless it's a betting slip or a DSS claim form - that the nematode will have a clue), thank you for ridding me of an old engine which I was too lazy to dispose of, especially after all of the effort required to saw through the rustiest padlock I've ever seen, and all under the cover of darkness. I salute you - with both fingers.
A reminder to us all that these human germs, with all the value to society as a Zimbabwean dollar, are out there and watching our craft for something to take.
I've got an old settee I need to get rid of. I wonder if I can fit it into the cockpit?
Don't have nightmares. Do sleep well.
Lizzy D
