Teddington Lock ?

[Old Crusty]

Now have 14 fenders on the boat......will this be enough.......
Have changed all the stickers on the boat, we are now a Princess 25.
As pubs and restuarants will all still be closed have stocked up with loads of baked beans and beer.
Have bought an Admirals hat with lots of scrambled egg and all the crew will be forced to wear matching technical gear in matching shades of Puce with large logos announcing they cost a fortune prominantly displayed on them.
Have a crib sheet of nautical terminology to shout at crew as we enter/depart locks.
Any other preparations we need to consider. ?
See you all on the 4th.

Ps. Have photocopied a list of all the posters who have complained about lockies . esp those not cleaning the weed off lockchamber walls .Will hand these out as we go.

I hope you haven't forgotten the big inflatable Avon fender hanging off your davits that is designed to protect your stern from collision with narrow and hire boats in locks when they fail to use the brakes they've not been told about.

 

[Lower Limit 1909]

In that case maybe natural selection will take place.

63(e) for those who have not read it

----------
63. No person shall while using or while in upon or about the river or the banks or
the towpaths thereof or any land of the Authority:


(e)jump into the river or onto any vessel on the river from any place including a
bridge or a highway or dive or swim or bathe in the river in such a manner as
to cause obstruction, nuisance, annoyance or risk of danger or injury to
persons or property;

----------


Obstruction? Yes because they swim downstream in the navigation channel?

Nuisance? Yes they are annoying.
Risk of danger or injury? Yes, to the swimmer.

Property damage? Yes I might get a damaged propeller and need to clean the red bits off the skeg.

In 20 years I've never seen the river downstream of Teddington even 10% this rammed with everything from a (just) floating paddling pool with six teenagers in to craft towing doughnuts etc. plus (as reported above) hundreds of paddle boarders and kayakers etc. (who are generally all very sensible but are having to use swimmers as a slalom course). Today's incidents include a single sculler missing a swimmer by inches with the swimmer passing under the oar, and kids throwing stones from one of the beaches at swimmers far out in the channel.

It's basicly a large outdoor lido with no regulations or life guards in place.

If we don't have somebody's kid become a 'statistic' in the coming days and weeks I'll be relieved but surprised.

Once you add in a lot more narrow boat and motor cruiser traffic and the Connaught and Cockney Sparrow on a sprint with their deadlines for Richmond Lock and Hammersmith Bridge to meet it's going to get spectacularly ugly.

 

[Outinthedinghy]

Connaught still going is it?

 

[oldgit]

I hope you haven't forgotten the big inflatable Avon fender hanging off your davits that is designed to protect your stern from collision with narrow and hire boats in locks when they fail to use the brakes they've not been told about.

Aha the.............. "Inflatable" ................a subject dear to my heart .
Seemed good idea at the time (£500 quid ) what fun we are going to have ) usually found tangling lopsidedly from the davits. Along with (used half a dozen times outboard (£600.00 ) still attached.
You will soon get fed up taking it off the davits , deflating the perishing thing , giving your self a hernia lifting it into the marina trolly and trying to get it in to the car boot.
Then out again at home to store in to the garage.
Then next year go through it all again but with the added fun of getting the outboard to run.etc etc.
Eventually nobody wants to faff about bailing out out the rain water, getting it off the davits to clean/store it each year so the long decline begins towards limp saggyness .
Ps. Rats do have a thing about certain types of inflatable and no they cannot repair that many holes.

Guaranteed to prevent somebody else getting into a packed lock and just makes it almost impossible to squeeze into that last tight little gap at Hampton court without wacking the boat behind. Probably mine.
It does not fool anyone that you are a roughty toughty long offshore passage type of guy who never uses a marina but always anchors offshore ,whatever the sea conditions.
It will also add additional weight to the back of the boat(where you need it least) and ensure that the bow of your boat is so high the sky that it is impossible to see out of the boat from downstairs.
For proof watch any Fairline Corniche underway.
....and do not kid yourself that you will be using it to nip across the river to that pub across the other side saving 2 mile walk round ......or popping to those shops half a mile away downstream. Of course your dinghy and outboard will still be there when you get back with your shopping.

Took my davits off, but the tight totally unreasonable mooring master refused to reduce my mooring fees. .

 

[Parabordi]

Aha the.............. "Inflatable" ................a subject dear to my heart .
Seemed good idea at the time (£500 quid ) what fun we are going to have ) usually found tangling lopsidedly from the davits. Along with (used half a dozen times outboard (£600.00 ) still attached.
Took my davits off, but the tight totally unreasonable mooring master refused to reduce my mooring fees. .

Yeah i am with you on that one, got a RIB a while back cos thought it would keep our son interested, then carried the damn thing around and it did all that you say.
Now have a roll up inflatable and Outboard in front cabin but that is going home in the next week or so as i am fed up with looking at it.

 

[oldgit]

Yeah i am with you on that one, got a RIB a while back cos thought it would keep our son interested, then carried the damn thing around and it did all that you say.
Now have a roll up inflatable and Outboard in front cabin but that is going home in the next week or so as i am fed up with looking at it.

Been up that garden path several times with the kids .Now the grandkids are on the scene.
Course you really buy it for yourself but use the sprogs as an excuse to spend the dosh.
Almost impossible to buy a decent second hand one at a sensible price,nobody wants to buy one when you try to sell.
It bad enough getting yerself into the unstable thing, good luck getting the wife on board esp. if she is dressed for that promised posh evening meal out you have been failing to deliver for ages.

Amazed nobody from the LSRC. (Limp Saggy Rubber Community ) have surfaced to defend the perishing things.
We use ours all the time is the usual claim.

 

[Lower Limit 1909]

Connaught still going is it?

Starting again on 4th July. 45 minute cruises every hour from Richmond to Teddington Lock turn around and back. Yup - 20 minutes passage time each direction plus a turnaround. Do the maths and the reason for the inappropriate speed becomes clear.

Connaught Video
https://twitter.com/i/status/1276217028966318082

A chellenging schedule without a river full of difficult to spot kids swimming and dozens of lilos, SUPs, inflatable kayaks, etc. in the middle of the fairway.