tcm's yot carbon offsetting.com

[tcm]

My latest slightly-stolen idea is to start a yot carbon offsetting site. Hurrah! Send me a suitable amount of cash to balance the amount of fuel you use driving to the boat, PLUS al the petrochemicals used in making the boat (loads) and a little bit extra for the fuel you use as well, and I'll spend the money on green projects such as buying some extravagant houseplants, bird food, and perhaps a nice new rake and another chainsaw.

If you absolutely must, there's a competitor yachtcarbonoffsetting.com (or similar) who will charge more and are likely less direct about how exactly they spend your money, and prolly more holier than thou (or even me).

 

[photodog]

Will I get a nice citificat to put in the saloon to show I am all green?

 

[Twister_Ken]

I'm considering a similar scheme to support fallen women.

There seem to be less of them than in the Victorian era though.

Maybe pavements have improved?

 

[sarabande]

I have a quadcopter and a Gawp Pro UltraHD camera that I use to take pornographs of sunny tropical beaches and the mammaries, err, mammals you see there. Am I eligible for subsidies from your esteemed philanthropic organisation ?


PS I belong to LLoyds Register Quality Assurance Scheme, oh yeah, wow, respeck.

 

[Lakesailor]

My latest slightly-stolen idea is to start a yot carbon offsetting site. Hurrah! Send me a suitable amount of cash to balance the amount of fuel you use driving to the boat, PLUS al the petrochemicals used in making the boat (loads) and a little bit extra for the fuel you use as well, and I'll spend the money on green projects such as buying some extravagant houseplants, bird food, and perhaps a nice new rake and another chainsaw.

If you absolutely must, there's a competitor yachtcarbonoffsetting.com (or similar) who will charge more and are likely less direct about how exactly they spend your money, and prolly more holier than thou (or even me).

I see the obvious contradiction in this scheme. A latent deforestation ploy using petro-chemical means. If you had said a nice draw-saw and some shire horses to move the timber I would have contributed.
However not having a boat at present I can only offer my grp bulge as carbon-guilt to be assuaged. Maybe 27p?

 

[Blueboatman]

If I give you some surplus, ex-industrial carp, to saw up with your solar eco chainsaw and feed to yer omnivoreal yachtplants, can I have the carbon please?

I could make a go faster component..

All sweetness and light 'ere mate.

 

[tcm]

It's all going wonderfully. So far it seems that I've swapped a bit of coal to blueboatman for 27p from Lakey.

 

[Wansworth]

Will accept Visa.Need to replant lawn the is doing its best to look like the Utah desert...willsend potos before and after

 

[webcraft]

.
Here's a typical carbon offsetting yachtie from the site http://www.yachtcarbonoffset.com/why-offset.html

She looks pretty guilt-free to me, so it must work. Does your scheme's reward programme also offer this level of unconcerned bliss, tcm?

- W

 

[Angele]

Here's a typical carbon offsetting yachtie from the site http://www.yachtcarbonoffset.com/why-offset.html

She looks pretty guilt-free to me, so it must work. Does your scheme's reward programme also offer this level of unconcerned bliss, tcm?

... and if their "specialist" http://www.yachtcarbonoffset.com/yachting-specialists.html is available to give personal assistance with my emissions, where do I sign?

 

[oldbilbo]

Here's one of their specialists hard at wurk....

Must say I rather like the cutofferjib. D'you think they do Manky Auld Boats?

 

[webcraft]

Must say I rather like the cutofferjib. D'you think they do Manky Auld Boats?

I'm sure. Just make sure you put down a newspaper for her to sit on.

- W

 

[lustyd]

I've a better idea. You all give me money to offset your carbon emmissions. I will then commission a bespoke carbon fibre yacht with the cash in order to permanently lock away the carbon (known in the business as a carbon sink). Everybody wins, you have no guilt and I get a massive yacht

 

[Twister_Ken]

.

- W

It's a fallen woman! I'm happy to offer her my support.

 

[Twister_Ken]

I will then commission a bespoke carbon fibre yacht with the cash in order to permanently lock away the carbon (known in the business as a carbon sink).

A carbon sink? Think of the running costs in washing-up liquid, trying to get it looking clean.

 

[Blueboatman]

No.
I think the idea is to get carbonated champagne, naturally. Makes some women go faster too.

See, I knew I could figure sommat go faster from carbon

TCMs lump of coal hasn't arrived yet, do you think it will alter the taste? Some wimin say they like black?

Matts rivals just look like a bunch of dinnerjacketed ex window glazers.. A floral shirt is so much more eco smiley

 

[JohnGC]

I've a better idea. You all give me money to offset your carbon emmissions. I will then commission a bespoke carbon fibre yacht with the cash in order to permanently lock away the carbon (known in the business as a carbon sink). Everybody wins, you have no guilt and I get a massive yacht

French fishermen have been doing that for years; in the form of performance add-ons.

 

[armchairsailor]

If you had said a nice draw-saw and some shire horses to move the timber I would have contributed.

I can help with that - I have a box full of old tools and Irish Draught horses - give your money to me and I'll build a whizz-bang racer out of deadfall old growth Western Red Cedar that you can all look at and feel good about contributing too. I may even give you a ride, but only if you reach western Canada by oar or sail only.

 

[Lakesailor]

A carbon sink? Think of the running costs in washing-up liquid, trying to get it looking clean.

Do what everyone who spends £40K on a kitchen does. Eat out.