Stupid things yachties say

demonboy

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To balance the books from my previous thread on landlubbers I thought I'd list the most annoying things fellow yachties say. This is just a bit of fun so if you are guilty of saying any of these, well, don't say them.

No boat ever sunk of osmosis
We received encouraging and supportive messages when we posted about our osmosis woes, but if I had a pound for every person who said this, I could pay to get my osmosis sorted! I mean, how do you know no boat ever sunk of osmosis? Where's the proof? I bet if you researched hard enough you could find evidence to the contrary. And it still doesn't make me feel any better about my osmosis!

Sun's over the yardarm somewhere in the world
Just say you want a drink.

One job a day
Said by sailors who spend most their cruising life in a marina.

(From Liz, probably directed at me) There's no such thing as a rope on a boat
Yes there is, the boat's full of ropes. They just have stupid names.

We've never dragged
Liar.

Any discussion about anchors
Blah blah blah.

The marina fees are extortionate
Don't go there then.

My wife and I split the jobs evenly
Even I say this because Liz and I have an equal relationship (ie she tells me what to do) but when it comes down to it, there's still pink jobs and there are still blue jobs. I've yet to meet a couple where she is the mechanic and he does the washing.

They have a lovely Oyster/Swan/S&S/HR/insert expensive blue water cruiser here
Who cares? Some of my best friends have Beneteaus!

That's it for the moment. There are more so I'll add them as they come to me, now that I have a place to rant about them.

Any to add?
 
My wife and I split the jobs evenly
Even I say this because Liz and I have an equal relationship (ie she tells me what to do) but when it comes down to it, there's still pink jobs and there are still blue jobs. I've yet to meet a couple where she is the mechanic and he does the washing.

You say this like it's a bad thing.
Of course there are pink and blue jobs.
Just because men and women are equal does not mean they have to be the same.
Clearly established boundries (my turf - your turf) makes for a happy marriage/ship.
 
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You this like it's a bad thing.
Of course there are pink and blue jobs.
Just because men and women are equal does not mean they have to be the same.
Clearly established boundries (my turf - your turf) makes for a happy marriage/ship.

But we also split single tasks two ways. Jill is a very good helm, does the vast majority of it while I am (a little) stronger than she is at winching, hauling halyards, etc. But she is very unhappy at any close-quarters manoeuvring so I do all the berthing, helm as soon as we enter any harbour.
 
How could I have forgotten that one, Tony? Classic.

To clarify on the jobs thing, I meant we both do the engine, both do the washing etc. Agreed on split tasks, we're pretty much the same as you, Vyv.
 
"When anchoring put ALL your chain out - its doing no good in the chain locker"

Right so I have a foot under the keel and I put out 60 metres of chain !!!

Brilliant, must show this to hubby! We've got 3 m under us, more chain - really??? I say yes dear to pacify him at times..

Pink vs blue. Many blue jobs are pink assisted (he bought me a pink drill), he does most of the technical stuff but at times I do it by following instructions mainly as I can fit into cramped spaces easier. Unblocking a loo is definitely his job!
 
Humans are not sharks natural food.
The anchorage is OK in settled weather.
Its better to be in here wishing you were out there than out there wishing you were in here.
It's not what you did that you regret, it's what you didn't do.
You don't have a refrigerator? How did you get this far?
Install the biggest engine you can afford.
 
I have just had a week without any alcohol at all. This idea has been mooted for many a year. In fact it may have started in the 70's when I worked in Aberdeen in the Oil Construction business. (An Aberdonian told me before oil arrived 75% of Aberdonians were alcoholic - Oil brought the 25% into line). It did not happen. Then I came sailing in the Med - nuff said. But this week I did it. And you know what ? It was easy peasy so I do not have to go into rehab after all. One whole week socialising on Visne (Sour cherry juice) I lost weight and saved money. So why do I not continue.
BECAUSE I CANNOT STAND MORE THAN OF A WEEK LISTENING TO ALL THE **** SPOKEN BY LANDLUBBERS AND YOTTIES ALIKE.
Dont worry lads I am back among the fold this week and spouting off my crackpot theories like always.
If this message is a little garbled there is a very good reason
 
I have just had a week without any alcohol at all. This idea has been mooted for many a year. In fact it may have started in the 70's when I worked in Aberdeen in the Oil Construction business. (An Aberdonian told me before oil arrived 75% of Aberdonians were alcoholic - Oil brought the 25% into line). It did not happen. Then I came sailing in the Med - nuff said. But this week I did it. And you know what ? It was easy peasy so I do not have to go into rehab after all. One whole week socialising on Visne (Sour cherry juice) I lost weight and saved money. So why do I not continue.
BECAUSE I CANNOT STAND MORE THAN OF A WEEK LISTENING TO ALL THE **** SPOKEN BY LANDLUBBERS AND YOTTIES ALIKE.
Dont worry lads I am back among the fold this week and spouting off my crackpot theories like always.
If this message is a little garbled there is a very good reason

Which brings me nicely to by far the most stupid thing yachties say. Which is; "would you like another drink?". Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?
 
Crew - "If you think its time to reef then you probably should have done it 15 minutes ago"
Skipper - "&*£%@"£" Translation - "Yes Dear"
 
My wife and I split the jobs evenly
Even I say this because Liz and I have an equal relationship (ie she tells me what to do) but when it comes down to it, there's still pink jobs and there are still blue jobs. I've yet to meet a couple where she is the mechanic and he does the washing.

Any to add?

First Officer thinks I have a lover in the engine compartment.....
 
( apologies Tomahawk :p )

Cat owner to mono owner...

My boat can get upto 30 knots downwind and no rolling..
 

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