tr7v8
Active member
Subject: FW: Not too distant future
>
>
>
>MessageUnfortunately, in the not very distant future.
>Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
>
>Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
>
>Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
>
>Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
>6102049998-45-54610."
>
>Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
>Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
>Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which
>number are you calling from, sir?"
>
>Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
>
>Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
>
>Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
>All-Meat Special pizzas..."
>
>Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
>
>Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
>
>Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high
>blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health
>Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
>
>Customer: "What do you recommend, then?"
>
>Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure
>you'll like it"
>
>Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
>
>Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
>local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
>
>Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
>What's
>the damage?"
>
>Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
>sir.
>The 'damage,' as you put it, heh. heh, comes $49.99."
>
>Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
>
>Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
>Your credit card balance is over its limit."
>
>Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
>driver gets here."
>
>Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
>overdrawn."
>
>Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
>How long will it take?"
>
>Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
>minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
>you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be
>a little awkward."
>
>Customer: "How the he*l do you know I'm riding a bike?"
>
>Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
>car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that
>you'd be using it."
>
>Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"
>
>Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
>July
>2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
>
>Customer: (Speechless)
>
>Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
>
>Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of
>Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."
>
>Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
>from offering free soda to diabetics."
>
<hr width=100% size=1>Jim
Draco 2500
>
>
>
>MessageUnfortunately, in the not very distant future.
>Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
>
>Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
>
>Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
>
>Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
>6102049998-45-54610."
>
>Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
>Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
>Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which
>number are you calling from, sir?"
>
>Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
>
>Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
>
>Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
>All-Meat Special pizzas..."
>
>Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
>
>Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
>
>Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high
>blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health
>Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
>
>Customer: "What do you recommend, then?"
>
>Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure
>you'll like it"
>
>Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
>
>Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
>local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
>
>Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
>What's
>the damage?"
>
>Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
>sir.
>The 'damage,' as you put it, heh. heh, comes $49.99."
>
>Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
>
>Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
>Your credit card balance is over its limit."
>
>Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
>driver gets here."
>
>Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
>overdrawn."
>
>Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
>How long will it take?"
>
>Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
>minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
>you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be
>a little awkward."
>
>Customer: "How the he*l do you know I'm riding a bike?"
>
>Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
>car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that
>you'd be using it."
>
>Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"
>
>Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
>July
>2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
>
>Customer: (Speechless)
>
>Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
>
>Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of
>Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."
>
>Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
>from offering free soda to diabetics."
>
<hr width=100% size=1>Jim
Draco 2500