Slightly (!) nervous of running away to sea with my family

[SolentBoat]

Playing with a calculator over the winter, I realised that I have the financial wherewithal to allow me to run away to sea. By that, I mean I have sufficient funds to buy a bigger boat, take a (modest) income and also salt something away to buy a house and take a pension in my dotage.

Trouble is, I have two children aged 12 and 14. On the one hand, this is clearly a show stopper - I can't simply take them out of school and swan off. Or, on the other hand, maybe having two children of this age is exactly the reason to do it - I'm running out of opportunities to spend time with them.

We've tossed this idea around as a family over the past few months and while there's a whole host of reasons not to, the concept is still hanging around. The primary reason not to is simply fear - ranging from "what will people say" through to the mortal fear of us all dying horribly. The secondary reason is education for the sprogs.

Any thoughts?

 

[JamesFrance]

Various family members used to talk about us "swanning about in the Mediterranean" when we did the same 41 years ago with 5 and 6 year old boys. There are ways of doing the education but not that easy unless you are determined to work at it.

We went back after 2 years but for us it was the best of times and we have all the memories which don't fade.

We have had a few boats down there since, but I think the younger you are the more you enjoy it.

 

[Sandyman]

Plenty of thoughts.

Firstly, go for it and don't worry one iota about what others might think. Its your life. Do what you want with it and not what others may want you to do or try to tell you.
We've been onboard for three years this very week & have not regretted it even once.

As for the kids education............... Self teach. With so much available on the internet these days i cant see it being a problem. We have met plenty of people on our travels who teach their own kids and in most cases what marvelous kids they turn out to be.

I think you children will benefit enormously from the experience and one day thank you for it.

 

[masharry]

Nervous too - different reasons

Hi, we're in a similar position, have very nearly 12yr old twins and a 28ft boat.....eek, a bit of a challenge, but possible we think.

Not worried about education as we've home educated anyway for last 7yrs, though daughter off to high school next week so she will have to come out next May/June when we plan to leave. Home education has it's challenges but it's also an amazing journey and I'd say that even if they did nothing conventionally academic in a whole year what they would gain would be amazing. Academic stuff's not really too hard to do, and can be done a lot more quickly at home than with large classes to organise. There are tonnes of home ed materials and stuff to follow if you fancy that route.

My partner and I spent nearly a year cruising the Med 20 years ago and it was amazing and though sailing has it's risks so does life. We're probably a lot safer on a yacht mid ocean than driving a car in the UK.

I'll be interested to hear how your plans develop and perhaps our paths will cross; that is one of my concerns our children meeting others.

 

[V1701]

There are always reasons not to do things and sometimes other people who will be all too ready to point some of them out to you, for reasons ranging from jealousy, not having the bottle or wherewithall to do it themselves even if they had the opportunity, to fragile models of reality due to having convinced themselves they are in control of their lives when in actual fact they are slaves to work, mortgages, the economy, etc. Ignore them all and do what's right for you and your family. If you try it and don't like it at least you won't turn round to yourselves later in life and talk about what you could have done. Good luck...

 

[TQA]

Take them out of school and go for it. Get some kind of home schooling package - lots around. maximise the "quality time" in their lives as well as yours.

Professional educator's hat firmly ON

Math is a must. It is the one thing that universities know that students rarely can catch up with if they are deficient on entry. Work on this till they reach A level work and are comfortable with it.

Old fashioned navigation is a good teaching tool for maths.

With math at A level most doors are open.

As for the rest if they are literate they can catch up with IF they decide to go into Higher Ed.

There are exceptions to the above esp. if they are set on med. or vet. courses.

Hat off now.

Most of the kids I have seen on boats are having a whale of a time although it is noticeble that they do like being places with other kids so they can get together and just be kids. I am in Grenada just now and until recently there was a big French ketch that was the anchorage playground.

I do wonder though if many who have had the taste of freedom from a cruising lifestyle adapt back to the daily grind of a conventional job.

 

[Sy-Revolution]

Don't do it, it's a nightmare!

Seriously, for us the teachings been difficult, partly our fault, partly his. Although we've made more progress with subjects he's struggled with than I'd expect if he'd stayed in school. However the parent/teacher mix isn't always easy. We've only got one and lonelyness has been a big problem. I think mainly because we've chosen to do the Med before heading west.

We're currently in Mallorca and have only met one other liveaboard boat with English speaking kids this year. Ok language shouldn't cause a problem but it aint easy for a kid making friends sometimes. Charterers aren't so bothered about their kids finding friends because they're using their time catching up with the kids and having some long missed family time.

We're wintering in Tunisia this year, then Greece next. Hoping things get better. The mags are full of stories of families cruising with kids but we've not met 'em. I'm thinking of starting a website for cruising families with kids so that we can all keep in touch and find ways of meeting up............

Still, we've just recently completed our first year cruising and living aboard as a family and although it's come with many challenges we're really begining to enjoy it. I can't wait to take Wes to Thermopoli, Delphi, Demascus and Constantinople.........It's all out there.

If you don't try, you might end up regretting it.........

C.

 

[Ariadne]

Don't worry about the kids! They will survive, they will be educated, and they WILL have a great time.

We left with ours 3 years ago (now 12 & 10) we 'boat school' and they are not suffering from it. As for O levels & levels, they can be taken anywhere at any time - no problem.
We have got to know our children as people as well as our children (if that makes sense), we eat every meal together and they are involved with where we are going and when - they are excellent crew and stand watches no problem! Being away from UK mainstream education has helped them develop into balanced individuals who no concept of a materialistic, racially, peer, press orientated life style.

Its yours and their quality of life your talking about; living aboard a boat and cruising is out of the box for 99% of the population and they find it threatening, talk to people who are/have done it. If it feels right and you all want to do it - go for it.

Better to have tied and failed, rather than regret never trying!!

Dave

 

[oldsaltoz]

As I see it you have two choices.

1] Go now and discover what is potentially the chance of a lifetime.

2] Spend the rest of your life regretting you didn't go.

 

[jonic]

Don't worry about the kids! They will survive, they will be educated, and they WILL have a great time.

We left with ours 3 years ago (now 12 & 10) we 'boat school' and they are not suffering from it. As for O levels & levels, they can be taken anywhere at any time - no problem.
We have got to know our children as people as well as our children (if that makes sense), we eat every meal together and they are involved with where we are going and when - they are excellent crew and stand watches no problem! Being away from UK mainstream education has helped them develop into balanced individuals who no concept of a materialistic, racially, peer, press orientated life style.

Its yours and their quality of life your talking about; living aboard a boat and cruising is out of the box for 99% of the population and they find it threatening, talk to people who are/have done it. If it feels right and you all want to do it - go for it.

Better to have tied and failed, rather than regret never trying!!

Dave

Well we ran away for a year or two with no kids and ended up staying for eight and having two kids along the way! It is not easy with kids, especially two under five. In fact it is very very hard at times. But...especially if you head for the tropics, it can have magical, magical moments. And as far as I can tell, we do only live once and it's for a finite unspecified time! If you have a chance to do something outside the rat race my advice is think very very seriously about taking it. (You could also buy my boat now we are home too)

My wife and I think that around 10 yrs old would be the optimum time to take kids. The Caribbean is full of boat kids. We had 17 boat kids for a beach party at Christmas in St lucia. Then we sailed to the States and anchored off Cape Canaveral and as a family watched a Space Shuttle launch and Landing. My kids met three Astronauts (two who have walked on the Moon) they have visited more than 40 islands and countries, played and had fun with all races and creeds, tasted more exotic food than you can imagine, picked up different languages and already have more REAL world experience than I had by the time I was 20. My almost six year old will happily discuss the solar system and the geography of the world with you, because he has seen it all first hand.

If you go It won't be easy but it will be rich in experience. (You'll also learn what a tremendous waste of time spending all your time on the planet chasing money is)

I'm a yacht broker now, and I tell all my prospective bluewater clients.

"If you have no murders or suicides, that's a good crew. If you realise that most of your yacht systems will fail or need repair within six months and that's an optimistic out look, then you'll have a great time."

Follow that advice and you too can end up here and here like we did.

 

[jonic]

There are always reasons not to do things and sometimes other people who will be all too ready to point some of them out to you, for reasons ranging from jealousy, not having the bottle or wherewithall to do it themselves even if they had the opportunity, to fragile models of reality due to having convinced themselves they are in control of their lives when in actual fact they are slaves to work, mortgages, the economy, etc. Ignore them all and do what's right for you and your family. If you try it and don't like it at least you won't turn round to yourselves later in life and talk about what you could have done. Good luck...

Perfectly put.

 

[Csail]

Providing you can sustain financially i would go for it. The kids that i have seen home educated seem better than average school educated.
Guess it depends on the parents.

 

[Ariadne]

'Don't do it, it's a nightmare!'
Wrong, it is hard work but it's worth it! Nothing worth having ever comes free of hard work.

'Seriously, for us the teachings been difficult, partly our fault, partly his. Although we've made more progress with subjects he's struggled with than I'd expect if he'd stayed in school. However the parent/teacher mix isn't always easy. We've only got one and lonelyness has been a big problem. I think mainly because we've chosen to do the Med before heading west.'

The parent/teacher relationship can be difficult, but also rewarding. We tried to follow the UK National Curriculum but after 12 months of getting stressed about it we gave it up. All our school work is now project based and as practical as possible. Maths & Physics (up to a point) we teach alongside navigation, it's not hard work for them if they see it in action.

'We're currently in Mallorca and have only met one other liveaboard boat with English speaking kids this year. Ok language shouldn't cause a problem but it aint easy for a kid making friends sometimes. Charterers aren't so bothered about their kids finding friends because they're using their time catching up with the kids and having some long missed family time.

We're wintering in Tunisia this year, then Greece next. Hoping things get better. The mags are full of stories of families cruising with kids but we've not met 'em. I'm thinking of starting a website for cruising families with kids so that we can all keep in touch and find ways of meeting up............'

You are not going to find many English speaking boat children in Tunisia are you.

Greece, we wintered in Messolonghi last year, and Yainiss talked to friend (the Mayor) and our two went to the local school for 5 months. An interesting experience to say the least, but they made friends and on whole enjoyed it and had a good time. When we were in Cagliari my daughter went to a swimming club and my son played rugby with Cagliari junior rugby team - language is not a barrier. Both play music so they are able to join in whenever people are playing.
There are people with children out here, scattered around the place and many not speaking English. That shouldn't be seen as a problem, all kids speak lego/GameBoy/ fancy a swim - nearly all cruising parents are happy for the kids to go off and explore on each others boats - you really have to work on this bit and go with flow. We have ended up staying in places longer than we wanted for the kids have company their own age. Its a trade off at all times but we have found plenty of children so far this year (heading out of the Med').
Charter boats with kids do have time for boat kids and we met quite few in the Ionian - some of which are still in touch. They thinks its fantastic to kids living on a boat with 'no school' and they as well as the parents are keen to find out how it works.

'Still, we've just recently completed our first year cruising and living aboard as a family and although it's come with many challenges we're really begining to enjoy it. I can't wait to take Wes to Thermopoli, Delphi, Demascus and Constantinople.........It's all out there.'

Just remember to do a project on these places before you get there, then the kids can be your guides - Delphi is amazing but you/they need to know about it before going there. We were lucky as its been an Olympic year so a trip to Olympia was planned and we ran the original race track - how many kids have done that. There are plenty of childrens books on Greek Mythology and get them to read them before you get there - its so much easier fore them and you and they will understand a bit about what its all about.

If you don't try, you might end up regretting it.........

C.

Just enjoy it and let them have as much input as to where are planning to go and why as is possible, its important they feel they have some input as they are part of the family and your crew as well.

Dave
__________________

 

[DevonMark]

We are planning to do this with our two kids (currently 4 and 6), but I do worry about meeting other children in the med. It seems easier on a round the world trip because to a certain extent there are set routes and times. In the med boats are very much setting their own agendas. Having read hundreds of blogs (not hard evidence I admit) it does appear that there are less cruising children in the med. I would love to hear I am wrong about this though...

 

[demonboy]

As per my previous post with the Mark Twain quote I would normally agree with everyone else who says 'just do it'. I don't have children, however, and I think you need to talk to liveaboards with children. Most importantly you should try and talk to liveaboards who have children the same age as yours.

Educating younger children up to high school age is relatively easy. The problems start when they have to stick to a rigid syllabus and the onus isn't so much on them, but on you to ensure they are educated to the standard required to pass the exams. I'm not saying this is impossible but it is a commitment. I know liveaboards who are teachers who gave up living aboard so they could send their 11/12 year olds to a proper school for their education. It is a massive commitment and you need to be prepared to add 'teacher' to your skill set (as well as mechanic, electrician, etc etc).

If you are prepared to take this responsibility on and would have no problems receiving the coursework via post or internet, then do it.

PM me for liveaboards I know who have children your age and older who would be happy to talk to you further about this.

Good luck.

Jamie
s/y Esper

 

[Marsupial]

Agree whole heartedly with Ariadne. Speaking as a newly retired teacher, there are plenty of resources on the internet and the National curriculum is freely available to peruse at will. Text books can be ordered from Amazon or any decent book store. Have a word with your offspring's teacher, she/he will be able to guide you. If they are not interested there are a lot of teachers out there sympathetic to your ideas. Recent criticism of the NC is that it is narrow at times, so just think of all those spontaneous teaching activities/projects that will present themselves on the viewing of animals in their natural habitats....Priceless! You will,with common sense, produce well rounded, resonsible adults. Exams can be taken at any time and at any place...The British Council.
Copies of past papers AND answers can be obtained. Through the internet, contact can be made with friends plus there is always the opportunity of having guests on board. I believe that many successful people have "gone into education" later in life.I think David Bellamy was one of them.
Take the plunge, you can always stop sailing if it doesn't work, but think about the experiences!

 

[Mr Cassandra]

I was worried about educating our children and made a similar enquiry about 8 years ago I think it was "Education" have a search for it, some helpful replies then.

Anyway don`t worry, the eldest is now doing a degree in History and ancient languages at Nottingham, the younger is becoming a Chef when she finishes her college work

 

[duncan99210]

Don't worry about the kids, they'll get so much benifit from being with you and seeing the world from a completely different perspective that it won't hold them back at all. The fact that they lack bits of paper may prove difficult intially but will be more than compenstated for by their wider experience of the world. Very few children ever get to go to the sort of places liveaboards go and how to deal with the realities of life on a boat.

For what it's worth, if you can afford to do it in financial terms then go for it. The dangers of sailing round the place are somewhat overblown in the popular press so don't worry about that aspect!

Finally, don't forget that, unless you have lots of dosh, you'll need to have the skills to fix most things on the boat!

 

[SolentBoat]

Thanks for all the comments and encouragement.

Mentioning the idea here is the first time we've floated it beyond the family dinner table - and doing so makes it all a bit more real and possible.

This new level of reality has made us think a bit more about the practical steps we'd need to take - and, by God, there are a lot. Everything, really, from honing our anchoring and navigating skills through to finding a bigger boat and deciding what to do with the house and our goods and chattels.

Practicalities mean that, if we were to do this, then we'd be looking at a 2012 departure.

Oddly, my wife and children are keener on the enterprise than I am, if the truth be told. I'm bothered by the education aspect still. In 2012, youngest daughter will be/would be about to start senior school and eldest will be finishing exams. I wish I'd had this epiphany about ten years back and never started them at school. On the other hand, they both board so we could just leave them there (but they would exceedingly peed off to miss out on both the sailing and the weekends at home). Hmm. Lots to think about still on that one.

For the time being, we've agreed to do the preparation but hold off making any committing decisions until Christmas 2011. So that's 18 months of serious sail training ahead of us - even if we don't go, I'm looking forward to the prep.

 

[Ariadne]

Don't get hung on boat size, most people we have met seem to think you need a 50 foot boat to do this with kids on board. We sail in a 43 foot 1981 RORC rule racing boat, we still manage a cabin each, have decent chart table/nav' station a saloon and a decent galley. We don't have a shower or a pressurised water system and we do shower on deck.

Its all part of escaping the rat race and getting back to reality. Just go for it.