Sleeping whilst at anchor?

If it’s not an anchor problem then it is a psychological issue.
We need some aversion therapy. First pick a dead calm night, one where don’t even need an anchor (but still anchor properly). If you eventually do get the sleep you desire, then try a night with a slight off shore breeze and so on and on

Small correction.. that's desensitisation. Aversion therapy might be giving yourself a mild electric shock every time you wake up or have your partner squirt you in the face with a spray bottle.
 
Small correction.. that's desensitisation. Aversion therapy might be giving yourself a mild electric shock every time you wake up or have your partner squirt you in the face with a spray bottle.
How does that help ??‍♂️ the OP can’t sleep, now he’s going to be worried that every time he wakes up, his wife is going to squirt lemon juice in his eyes???
 
We've been living aboard since July '20 and have spent more nights at anchor than anything else. The biggest (anchoring) challenges we've had have been: 1) a (forecasted) wind-shift causing 2m swell and 30+kts in the anchorage; 2) 50kt gusts while anchored between reefs. In (1) the anchor was holding but we were uncomfortable and anxious, so we retreated to a marina; in (2) I only found out about it the next day from our neighbour, having slept through the whole thing - again, the anchor had not budged.

- Choose a spot based on wind/current that will mean you drag out to sea if the worst happens.
- Check the forecast and factor any wind shifts into your choice of location.
Practice anchoring during daytime in stronger winds so you know what your ground tackle can stand up to.
- Use an anchor you trust, use all chain, use a snubber.
- Get a wetsuit, mask snorkel and fins, dive on the anchor somewhere where the clarity is good just so you get to see what it all looks like. It's good kit to have on board anyway, in case of emergencies.
- Use an anchor ball, so you can see exactly where the anchor is at a glance, and that it hasn't moved.
- I don't use an app because every time I've tried, I get so many false alerts that I end up switching it off.
- Leave the keys in the ignition, a searchlight and your lifejacket in the cockpit, sleep with a headtorch on your wrist. Have a plan for what to do if you drag.
- Once you've set the anchor and let out your scope and attached your snubber, try driving back again and see if you can make it drag. Think about what wind strength that engine speed will push you into.

Charlie - 12T monohull, 25kg Rocna, 80m 10mm chain, 10m 22mm 3 strand nylon snubber.
 
How does that help ??‍♂️ the OP can’t sleep, now he’s going to be worried that every time he wakes up, his wife is going to squirt lemon juice in his eyes???

There's a little known therapy called 'ordeal therapy' pioneered by Milton Erickson. For example, a man who was a chronic insomniac for 30 years was required to do something he absolutely hated if he found he couldn't sleep. He was required to get up and clean his floors for four hours. The first night he did it but from then on he slept soundly. The theory is that the unconscious mind will, if it can, avoid ordeals - especially boredom - at all costs including staying asleep. The OP just has to find something to do on the boat that he absolutely hates and make himself do it when he wakes up.
 
I always have an escape route planned - basically a course to steer which will get me the hell out of there if I need to. If it's blowing, or likely to blow, I set an anchor watch on my GPS. I almost always wake up for the turn of tide anyway, at which point I have a look around, mutter a bit and go back to bed. I have only oncekept an anchor watch overnight, riding out "Malin, northerly F12" in the Sound of Ulva. Didn't budge an inch.
+1. I too find that when sleeping aboard - whether at anchor, on a mooring or tied up in a marina, even quite small changes wake me up - more easily at anchor, less so in a marina, but any major change to the sound or motion wakes me. I've never set an anchor alarm, but I make sure my anchor is well set and watch my position for an hour or two.
 
I can't recommend the 'strong drink' approach, if your anchor does go bad, it's likely to be relatively early in the night when you are still under the influence.

Good planning and anchoring somewhere you trust is a start.
Knowing when to go somewhere secure and moor to a buoy instead is good.
Intelligent use of anchor alarm on phone or GPS is good.
Depth alarm is good.

One trick is to set an alarm clock for say 3 hours, then you know you will get up and check. That means you can relax.
It reduces the 'dragging ' worry to 'how far can we drag in 3 hours?

Sailing two-up, you don't need to stress about getting a proper night's sleep if you can plan to get your head down for a decent 3 hours under way next day.
 
There's a little known therapy called 'ordeal therapy' pioneered by Milton Erickson. For example, a man who was a chronic insomniac for 30 years was required to do something he absolutely hated if he found he couldn't sleep. He was required to get up and clean his floors for four hours. The first night he did it but from then on he slept soundly. The theory is that the unconscious mind will, if it can, avoid ordeals - especially boredom - at all costs including staying asleep. The OP just has to find something to do on the boat that he absolutely hates and make himself do it when he wakes up.
I’ve been an insomniac for the past 45 years. I never thought of that!
What I have found that does work is hypnotherapy and Melatonin supplements. I sleep so much better these last few months than I have in decades.
 
With nearly 50 posts in a few hours, I think the conclusion is that anchoring is over thought. With that comes anxiety and the resultant inability to sleep.

KISS works well. We select where we are going to drop, check the depths around, drop, settle, set with some reverse, check transits and finish with G&T's. Once happy, electronics off and no alarms. All the modern gadgetry on a boat has the same effect of smart phones where you feel the need to check it every few minutes. In the old days (pre GPS) it was simple and people worried less.

So, stop over thinking and enjoy the scenery.
 
Never dragged, only recently taken to setting an anchor alarm, if the forecast suggests the anchorage is likely to become exposed I won't have anchored in it; sleep like a log. If anchoring is that anxiety-inducing perhaps try golf? Diving on an anchor in the Clyde is not on my bucket list.
 
I spend about 120 nights at anchor a year. My subconscious mind tends to wake me if there a change in the way the boat is behaving: building wind, swinging, unexpected movement. Once awake, I’ll check the surroundings to see what is going on and (normally) go straight back to sleep. The Admrial sleeps on through most things. The only time both of us have bounced up the companionway like meerkats was when some drunk in a speed boat bounced off our port quarter: the bang would have woken the dead, but that’s another story...
If there’s a change in conditions forecast that might increase the chance of the anchor dragging, then I’ll set it the anchor alarm on the phone. I don’t use the plotter as the alarm won’t wake me (too quiet) and the power consumption of the phone is trivial the plotter less so. I find it make sense to set the alarm with a reasonably wide swinging circle so as to minimise false alarms although the current apps are much better than the older ones: the good current ones all use fix averaging to get their position thus reducing the chance of a single spurious gps position setting off the alarm.
Seriously, don’t over think it. Just do it and relax. Our favourite hobby is watching others take forever to anchor and then wondering if they’ll hit us when (not if) their anchor drags.
 
Never dragged, only recently taken to setting an anchor alarm, if the forecast suggests the anchorage is likely to become exposed I won't have anchored in it; sleep like a log. If anchoring is that anxiety-inducing perhaps try golf? Diving on an anchor in the Clyde is not on my bucket list.

I think there's a best-seller self-help book in there - 'Feel the Fear and ... Take Up Golf Instead.'
 
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I've just recalled an anchor alarm invented by Des Sleightholme.
A heavy weight on a line is lowered to the required depth, the line is looped to the frying pan which is wedged into the ajar hatch. When the line slackens, the pan falls.
That would wake you up.
I'm sure Dick Everett would have added some taut bungee so that the frying pan didn't just fall, but instead clouted the skipper vigorously across the head. Though if that induced unconsciousness it might be counterproductive.
 
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