Side effects

[helixkimara]

Has anyone had any side effects from the JAC apart from:

Difficulty getting back into the work/ home routine. Getting up in the middle of the night and reefing the curtains. Kneeling on the floor to have a wee in a bottle. Cursing the TV for not giving your currant Latitude and Longitude. Putting the bin out by tying it to the railings with a clove hitch or round turn and two half hitches. Taking advantage of sleeping during the day as, who knows what the weather is going to do at night. Telling the wife that “Its meant to be single handed” and kicking her out of bed. Wearing ya harness and life jacket when the weather deteriorates .Mooring ya car to the bollards.

I have none of the above side effects “honest” I’m just bloody hungry all the time.
/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

 

[Black Sheep]

I have all this to look forward to, if I make it in 2010. But the symptoms you describe have a venerable history. Erskine Childers, writing in the Times in 1913, noted:

 

[helixkimara]

I was close to that on my first night back in a stable bed. The thing was all over the place and I was half dreaming half conscious of strapping it down, blaming my wife for making a crap job and bounced off the walls when going to the bog. No drink involved(Well maybe a little)

 

[Noddy]

I have kept my beard from JAC08 and find myself going:

"AAARGH JIM LAD, HAAAR AAARGH SHIVER ME TIMBERS ...... etc etc"

My friends have started smiling at me a lot and I always seem to have enough room at the bar!

Yes I think the JC has improved my life.

 

[helixkimara]

No change from Terciera then !

 

[nathanlee]

"Kneeling on the floor to have a wee in a bottle."

I do that anyway. A couple of my mates came down to the boat the other day, and seemed pretty disgusted that there were two bottles full of wee on the cabin sole. I just shrugged my shoulders and told them I didn't expect them to understand.

Aah, your post did tickle me though. Good job.

 

[helixkimara]

Well Nathanlee

"Kneeling on the floor to have a wee in a bottle."

On that subject "Noddy (ooh aarr Jim Lad) the Pirate" has a lovely little story about that involving a large plastic bottle, amber liquid, a carpet and toe rope /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

 

[nathanlee]

I have a fairly creative imagination, but I'm quite stuck here.

You towed a car that had run out of oil and spilled oil on the carpet when going to top it back up?

I give up, take it away Noddy...

 

[Noddy]

NO YE SWARTHY LANDLUBBERS. I STILL BE IN A HUFF COS I CAN'T THINK OF A GOOD COMEBACK TO TOMATO'S BROADSIDE. BUT I'LL GET YE.

I'LL KEEP ME YELLOW TREASURE TO MESELF. AAARGH JIM LAD.

 

[helixkimara]

NOOOooooooo Noddy, I surrender, give in, throw the towel in, lay on my back with legs in the air. For you it would be like “Having a battle of wits with an unarmed man”

I hereby retract your amber liquid and hold out my sWord by the hilt.

 

[Noddy]

OK I give up. There was a risk of getting myself stuck in character there ME HEARTIES. Oops!

Bottle 'o' Pee story:
I have a hospital pee bottle that I use when at sea. It means I don't have to go outside and hold on to the backstay for a pee, nor do I have to use the head this involves some stooping and bracing against the side of the boat (I refuse to sit down to pee).

On one occasion I had been lazy and used the bottle a few times. It was full to the brim with only a loose fitting cap between me and disaster.

It was time to leave the cabin and empty it over the side. I stood in the companionway juggling with the pee bottle, washboards and a piece of rope (i don't know why I was holding the rope).

A little wave with a sense of humour gave the boat a playful slap at just the right moment. I dropped the lot. (cut to slow motion) NOOOOOOooooo!

My boat is a catamaran and I have carpet laid on the bridgedeck (the bit between the hulls). I was now 500 miles from land with a pee soaked carpet. I expected to smell a bit when I got there but this was going to be unacceptable.

Being a long way from land I was fiercely possesive about my fresh water supply. Unfortunately neither Fairy Liquid nor Daz will lather in sea water.

So I towed it. I was doing about a knot and kept it out there for about an hour. Dried it off in the sun. Worked a treat!

To get back to the point of this thread; I am able to report that I have not urinated on the living room carpet when sober, since I got back.

Paul

 

[nathanlee]

I have a worse story. I should probably not tell it, but it's not in my nature to hide these things, so read on at your own peril...

About 4 years ago I was off work ill so I decided to drive up to the lake district for a spot of solo climbing around Langdale.

I'd been out all day and had a wonderful time, even seeing a Tornado fly under me through the valley. It's strange seeing the top of a plane, flying.

Anyway, I walked back to the car feeling a bit uncomfy. I wasn't sure what it was, but carried on. I got in the car, my pride and joy at the time, and drove, homeward bound.

As I meandered through the road heading out of the valley, I began to feel more and more uncomfortable. It was like a stabbing pain in my stomach. I continued driving, since there's was not much else I could do.

By the time I got to Ambleside I was in agony, utter genuine agony. Doubled over in the car, unable to pull over since I was in a traffic jam, and still not sure what was causing this excruciating pain, suspecting perhaps appendicitis, I decided that perhaps it might be trapped wind.

I decided to let some pressure off just in case and squeeze one out. I certainly did. About 2 litres later I'd replaced all the pain with utter, uncompromising disgust. I had to drive 2 hours home like that.

 

[Scillypete]

No doubt you have since sold the car to some poor unsuspecting soul

/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[helixkimara]

UUURRRRRRRrrrrrrrr

Dirty Boy ! (or girl /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif)

 

[nathanlee]

Boy, if you please.

The day I find a girl that would admit to such things is the day I'd fall in love I think.

I did say read it at your own peril. Anyway, to make some sort of effort to regain the topic of the thread after I so rudely destroyed it...

Since I've not yet done the JC, although it's currently in my thoughts daily, I can't really have any side effects, however spending most of my free time on the boat over the last couple of months has certainly changed my outlook on life.

I marvel at the showers in teh basement of the building I work in. They're fantastic compared to the marina showers, and I've stopped ordering pizza most nights because they can't deliver and now have to cook; I'm beginning to become a 1 burner Origo expert... need to devise an oven though.

I'm also much more tidy since a Corribee doesn't suffer a messy in habitant kindly...

Still, here's to hoping that my boat doesn't become to the same fate as my old BMW. For her sake and mine. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[Noddy]

Definitely a Jester Challenger!

 

[NickiCrutchfield]

Probably wrong, but when it is rough I just piss in the bilge. With all the leaks it becomes diluted very quickly.
Nicki

 

[NickiCrutchfield]

Been miserable today and you have made me laugh. 1000 thanks. I can't imagine how pissed off you must have been at the time, but [--word removed--] me, funny.
Thanks.
Nicki

 

[CPD]

I think I have become a sailing bore becase of it. I have to say tho that Paul's story made me laugh too, until he told me in terceira when I believe I may have been sitting on that very carpet of which he speaks /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

[Jake]

There was a list of things on a YBW forum a few years back about how to mentally prepare for a Blue water lifestyle whilst still living at home.

Can't find it now, but remember things like...

Bolt sheets of plywood around the toilet in your bathroom, until you just have just enough room to hunch over the bowl.

Run the lawnmower outside your window every time you want to use a powerdrill. This will get you used to the noise of the generator.

Ask several local schoolkids to knock on your door, and offer to tie your porch to a dodgy looking bush for a dollar each.

Give the same kids another dollar to make sure no-one nicks your bike for the next two hours.

Invite your neighbours round to tell you all about the various houses they've been to visit. Watch them drink all your booze and then ask you to lend them some money as 'cruising funds are a bit stretched.'

Shout at the wife if she uses more than a gallon of fresh water a day.

....and so on.

(There was another one for frustrated submariners. Every week, they would throw all the breakers in the house, shout 'emergency reactor scram!' and then sit in the dark for an hour.)

So, maybe, instead of hearing about the side effects, us Jester wanabees could get into the right mindset for Jester2010 right here at home. Any suggestions?

While I'm waiting for them to come in, I'm just off to pee on the living room carpet.....