'Scuse me, Mate

[Twister_Ken]

\'Scuse me, Mate

Toodling along minding my own business, halfway between Lymington and Beaulieu River Entrance, when approached by a motorboat - maybe 23 ft cabin cruiser - who pulls up in my lee.

"S'cuse me mate, is that the way into Beaulieu?" (pointing vaguely at a building on the Hampshire shore).

"No, it's about four miles further east."

"Cheers." Roars off in easterly direction. Goes a couple of hundred yards, does a u-turn, and comes back.

"Errr - is it deep enough along here?"

 

[MoodySabre]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

Roll on compulsory licencing and qualifications.

Raggies exempt of course /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[Oldhand]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

... wonder why he assumed you knew?! 'Fraid I would have answered "why don't you go back to where you set out from and buy a chart and some navigation instruments?"

 

[KREW2]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

In 1975 my wife and I ran the Royal Channel Islands YC. It is on Jersey's south coast and has a tidal slipway 2 hours either side of HW. A bloke turns up in the car park with a trailed boat about 23ft, asked where the water was. I told him it will be back in about 4 hours. A brief conversation reavealed that he had bought his boat over from the UK by ferry, was staying at Hotel L'horizon and wanted to go to France for a few days /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

 

[Blueboatman]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

In my youth i was guilty of anchoring close to a fishing boat by the Goodwin Sands and rowing over and asking which way and how far to Dover-Boy that Skipper loved it and played it up for all it was worth to his dayfishing punters...but we HAD managed to get out of the Orwell and across the Thames in fog on dr with nout but a depth sounder and compass,light winds and a very weedy diesel good for 2 1/2knots...
I decided that twas better to row over and ask and eat humble pie /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[shmoo]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

Just keep telling yourself "It takes all sorts..."

Would you have preferred the person in the mobo to have said: "Would you pull over while I examine your permit to drive this yot, your tax and insurance, your certificate of antifouling, standing rigging test certificate, the dates on all your charts and fire extinguishers.

Oh yes, sir, and did you know the Solent is now a congestion charge area: did you get a £10 ticket before you left this morning"

Really, really, better the odd d***head. The alternative is much worse.

 

[Goldie]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

I wonder if it was the same guy who I met in Newtown creek earlier this season. On finding all the moorings taken, he motored over to as me if he would have to anchor. As he intended to stay the night, the answer was obviously 'yes'. He then asked 'never anchored before so how do I do that then, do I just chuck it over and wait'? I talked him through the sequence (despite that fact that we had to guess at depths/scope (no echosounder or marks on the warp) and I was relieved to find him still there in the morning. In his defence, at least he had the neck to ask (very loudly across 25m of water) and the balls to admit his shortcomings. It does beg questions about what other knowledge was lacking from someone who minutes earlier had been charging down the Solent in a boat capable of 30kts plus....

 

[Pete7]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

Power boat Instrs course a long time ago but incident still very clear in all our minds.

About 11 am we stop for coffee and fags on a pontoon off Thorney Island sailing club in Chichester Harbour. Little yot comes down from Thornham Marina at the head of the channel. Husband, wife, 2 kids and dog dressed in identical yellow foul weather gear which looks new, as did little 24 foot yot. Husband leans over the side of the yot and asks us which way is the sea /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Stunned by the question, we all look at each other and wondered what to reply?

Keep it simple and tell him the sea is right at the T junction or tell him it's left and send him up to Chichester which would be much safer, they would have a nice day out and not cause too much of a drama, well not to us anyway.

In the end we told him to turn right. Still not sure if this was the correct answer because we didn't see him ever come back again /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

Pete

 

[ccscott49]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

He now probably runs the round the world rally!!!

 

[BlueSkyNick]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

mmmm. somebody left me a voicemail on Saturday evening asking if I would be in the Sailing Club and could they come in as guests. Didnt leave their name on the message, and I didnt get round to calling them back to find out.

Just realised who it might have been.

 

[Gunfleet]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

Well, we all have them. When I first sailed (no depth sounder pre gps) I used to use the centre board as a sounder (bear away when it bumped) and I would sail round bouys to read the writing on them. Still alive. Mind you, a couple of weeks ago a chap told me he was leaving Brightlingsea at low water so he would get to Harwich at high water. He's probably still alive too.

 

[Twister_Ken]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

Not to worry, met another gent of this parish who said Lecher wasn't on her mooring, and as she wasn't on the LTSC pontoon either, we figured you'd off-buggered somewhere. Bumped into another old buddy and had a nice meal in the Ship. Blimey, that's changed! Could do without 'characters' as waiters though.

 

[Lizzie_B]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

At least he slowed down and asked - obviously knew his short comings and would probably be open to advice/instruction over a quiet pint in the pub.

It's the ones who never ask because they know they know everything that are the real problem.

I learnt to sail by getting into a dinghy on the leeward side. (also sharpened up my reactions) /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[BlueSkyNick]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

At the time you called, I was completing the task of recovering the overturned, sunken dinghy complete with outboard, from UNDER our mooring - /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif

Dunno how it turned over, but it's an old Mirror and all the buoyancy chambers were waterlogged. I'm planning to rename it The Sieve, but may will change that to Bonfire before November.

Engine has been soaking in fresh water since, and off to a bloke who's good on these things this evening.

Sorry about Fred Drift.

 

[StevenJMorgan]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

I was spent the night on a visitors bouy in Barmouth a few years ago. Went ashore for breakfast (was low tide). After breakfast we were hanging around the slipway when two cars towing jet ski's turned up.

They got out of their cars and came over to the slipway one said to the other 'where has all the water gone'? to which the other one replied 'don't know mate - it was here this time last week'!!!!!!!! HA!

 

[Slow_boat]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

In the '70sI was a yacht instructor in the solent. A regular question from new yacht owners up the Hamble was 'What bearing do I need for France?' We used to tell them to hang around the Needles and follow the Townsend Thoreson ferry, just omitting to mention that it would be going at about 25 knots.

We had to stop doing that when we noticed groups of new Moodys waiting off the Needles on Saturday mornings.....

 

[kingfisher]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

Standing in the Nieuwpoort marina office. Chap comes in, barges past the queu. Asks the harbour master : "do you think it is allowed to tow my kids on a tube in the fairway?". Stunned silence. Queu of fatigued raggies and harbour master look outside:
- outgoing tide racing past the markers
- dozens of boats entering and leaving Europe's largest marine
- 5-6 bft wind sweeping out to sea.
Harbour master states that there is a 5kts speed limit and that permission should be sought from the water police. Guy says "But they will be wearing life jackets, so is it ok then?". Harbour master again refers to water police. Guy leaves.
We ask the harbour master where he hides his lemon to bite on to keep a straight face with these idiots. He shrugs: "they're his children".
It had been SW 6-7 with peeks of 8 for the last 5 days. Dad was probably being driven to madness by his offspring, so was trying to amuse/get rid of them?

 

[T_C]

Re: \'Scuse me, Mate

[ QUOTE ]
In the '70sI was a yacht instructor in the solent. A regular question from new yacht owners up the Hamble was 'What bearing do I need for France?' We used to tell them to hang around the Needles and follow the Townsend Thoreson ferry, just omitting to mention that it would be going at about 25 knots.

We had to stop doing that when we noticed groups of new Moodys waiting off the Needles on Saturday mornings.....

[/ QUOTE ]

I seem to remember as a teenager in the 70's we used to get to the Needles and then follow the empty bottles of Gordon's all the way to Cherbourg!
/forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif