Santa's Problems this Year!

[TheBoatman]

Santa\'s Problems this Year!

It has occurred to me that in these times of over regulation that Santa is going to have one hell of a time this year. If he is to deliver all those presies the length and breth of the land he's going to fall foul of HMG, local councils and the PC brigade.


With all that ground to cover, what about speed limits?

Has he done a risk assessement?

Picking on Rudulf to lead could be mentally damaging for the other reindeer.

If councils won't allow hanging baskets, parking his sleigh on a roof,,, geezs!!!!

Is his sleigh CE marked?

Bad landings on ships in UK waters would need a report filed with HMCG.

Has he got a CEVNI endosement for canal boats?

If he's starting from Lapland will he file a passage plan?

If he drinks all that Sherry, what about breath tests?

Have the mince pies been stored correctly prior to him eating them!

If a house hasn't got a chimney does he have a secondary port of call or bolthole?

I think it would be best for all if Xmas was cancelled this year to make sure it's safe for all and no one will get sued!!!!!.

Peter.

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[Evadne]

HO HO HO!!!

I think the answers are covered by him, after a couple of millemnia on the job he has probably got the hang of it:
The risk of being assassinated by malevolent 7-year olds who didn't get My Little Pony far outweighs any EU, US justice dept. or any other threats.
Rudolph is a SR (senior Reindeer) wheres Prancer, Donner, Blitzen et. al. have yet to be promoted from OR (ordinary Reindeer) so they will have to do as they are told.
The sleigh was manufactured outside the EU but visited an EU country before 1998, and the proof is the letter I had back from him in 1968 explaining why I couldn't have a scalectrix set that year.
You can land on a roof without planning permission, as long as you apply for it retrospectively.
France closes for Xmas, so no-one will be there to inspect his CEVNI. As the French say "PPPPrrrwww!! Cest la vie. Qui gives a merdre, estoopi Rrosbif??"
His vessel is smaller than 150 tons so is classed as a pleasure vessel and passage plans are advised, but not compulsory. That's why hew doesn't have to have a DSC radio or a holding tank.
The sledge flies, so its not HMCG but the CAA and FAA that he has to worry about. Fortunately, travelling at faster than the speed of light, radar waves can never catch up with him so they'll never know he was there.

Most of the other problems are irrelelvant. In order to visit approx. 1 billion houses in 24 hours he travels at about 7 times the speed of light. No GATSO can photograph him at that speed. He will also burn about 4 billion calories climbing down all those chimnies, so will consume any alcohol in his blood quicker than he can accumulate it. Ditto Mince pies.

The secondary port is the letterbox, of course!!

Merry Christmas!!
from
Santa's not so little helper

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[Sgeir]

What do the reindeer get for lunch?

What do the reindeer get for lunch?

















half an hour

<hr width=100% size=1>I had a very nice link until Kim told us off about it. I'm not bitter mind.