sailing with swmbo

which of you does the following - M or F

  • whilst coming alongside M steers the boat

    Votes: 134 82.2%
  • whilst coming alongside F steers the boat

    Votes: 28 17.2%
  • when picking up a mooring M steers the boat, F picks it up

    Votes: 81 49.7%
  • when picking up a mooring F steers the boat, M picks it up

    Votes: 74 45.4%
  • M hoists sail, F steers

    Votes: 129 79.1%
  • F hoists sail, M steers

    Votes: 31 19.0%
  • M steers F raisies anchor

    Votes: 34 20.9%
  • F steers M raises anchor

    Votes: 120 73.6%
  • M prepares most food on board

    Votes: 50 30.7%
  • F prepares most food on board

    Votes: 113 69.3%

  • Total voters
    163
You didn't include "swmbo doesnt come anywhere near the boat!!".

Actually that's not true as she came out twice this year and managed to make the kids nervous by panicking when the boat heeled!!

So when the time comes (10 years) I am off cruising on my own for a couple of years. If she is waiting when I come back then fine, if not then more cruising!!

Well mine deigns to do 2-5 weeks of 26 - but when she's on board...
 
You should have included sail trimming. I do all of it and SWMBO just calls out the speed as I ask, constantly laughing as it slows down as I make technical improvements!
 
SWMBO lacks the confidence to steer onto our berth or when picking up a mooring. The choice is always offered, or I can do it all on my own if she keeps clear. Even when she hooks the buoy, I always come forward to get it aboard & on the main cleat.
 
Why no 50/50 option buttons?

+1 The only thing that I normally do is attach and detach the main halyard, that is only cause SWMBO struggles to reach. The most common conversation on-board is what do you want to do? Often it gets switched in the middle. Or if one of is having A cannot be bothered day its since your nearer (having just stepped passed them).

Oh and when it comes to the kite she likes to fly it and I am left to steer....
 
Probabally should also ask which is Skipper .? It seems to be either me or committee decision .Im vertically challenged so things that need a taller person are dealt with by the tallest .:)
 
You should have included sail trimming. I do all of it and SWMBO just calls out the speed as I ask, constantly laughing as it slows down as I make technical improvements!
I find giving SWMBO the stick makes the boat go faster what ever I do :rolleyes:

PS RU Around on Sunday?

Probabally should also ask which is Skipper .? It seems to be either me or committee decision .Im vertically challenged so things that need a taller person are dealt with by the tallest .:)

With us its simple, SWMBO Says if we go or not. I can over rule if I think she has misjudged though I normally say hell lets give it a try are you sure?

Same goes with my daughter then she gets first call SWMBO gets second call I get third. Once afloat options are discussed and if it all starts going wrong I get the blame for the mistakes as they are all my fault, so I guess by default that makes me skipper.

Although if we have been drinking the most sober one is by default skipper, my has been skipper from an early age :D
 
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I see I'm in the minority in letting SWMBO helm while we come alongside. I think this is just because I'm happier doing the step down to the pontoon than she is.

Once underway, we take watches where one person is responsible for absolutely everything, unless it is a major change of plan. I like waking up to find that we've shaken two reefs and are 20 miles closer to our destination.
 
SWMBO on a boat is always difficult. You need to get SWBO involved in boating from the begining. How ever for so many of us our begining in boating are when all the disasters and stressful situations occurs. It is far better if you have got over your early traumas first. She can be very effective on the helm as we see that they cna be quite good drivers. However it is the unusual unexpected that requires decisions that can put them off. Give her lots of practice, make her feel confident and indeed in control and she will love it.
The unusual, the rescue jobs and general rouse about jobs are better done by male (skipper). It is my observation that a skipper when he stuffs up will hope that the crew can perform miracles to negate the stuff up. This is hard on crew and can put them right off so be wary of this one. Typical skipper on helm comes imnto a jetty or berth too fast so yells "Fend off" and she yells "I can't " so you have unfair criticism and conflict.
The other problem with females is when they become mothers they become self appointed experts in all matters relating to safety. (as perceived by them) (especially if children are on board. This you just have to cope with although again giving them control of main sheet for keeling and helm will aleviate the stress.
It is all a difficult subject where most males fail miserably and sail alone or without SWMBO. (includes me) olewill
 
I wonder how much the replies about who steers the boat to be based on location. Since we moved our sailing to the Med we have swapped roles with Julia doing the steering into marinas or quays much more, as the other role requires more force in the Med than the UK - basically either using/dropping the anchor or hauling in on a weedy, muddy, barnacle sharp laid line hauling the boat against a crosswind.

I am actually now much more confident sailing knowing that we can both steer the boat in tight spaces as well as all the other tasks we have both done over the years. Sail hoisting though - I can't ever see that being shared until we buy a boat with electric winches.


Cheaper alternative is the weights system, have you tried that?
 
I read that as "WHICH SWIMBO"

That put me in a daydream for a while. I was imagining setting sail with all my ex SWIMBO's and girlfriends on board.

Trying to apportion duties fairly with no prejudice or favour.

I realise after that mental exercise that I would have zero chance of surviving the whole day.
 
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You should have added another option as we, like others, take it in turn when entering berths or picking up the mooring. Only problem SWMBO has is lack of strength for sail handling in strong winds.
 
Both of us do everything. We run a Skipper of the Day (SoD) system, taken in turns. The SoD takes responsibility for the day's navigation and pilotage and does the helming for the tricky bits, while Crew of the Day (CoD) does fenders, lines etc. SoD can't be too hard on CoD as the boot will be on the other foot tomorrow! It works for us and means we both maintain our skills, but I know it's an unusual arrangement - in most sailing couples we know he's the skipper...
 
in most sailing couples we know he's the skipper...

I like to think I'm skipper and my wife lets me think it.

42 years ago she taught me to sail in Grimsby Docks and 39 years ago she introduced me to skiing (not in Grimsby), facts I remind her of whenever she complains that I'm doing too much of either.
 
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