Bajansailor
Well-Known Member
My tuppence worth of humour on the subject (hope it is worth tuppence 
), after reading Webbie's thread about us lot all chipping in to the pot for the Chandlers (and getting a bit baffled at times).
I did post it initially on his thread, but then thought I had better edit it, and move it here.... no offence intended to anybody whatsoever, but if it raises a chuckle or two, I hope that is no bad thing.
I think that if some generous benefactor did happen to quietly cough up the dosh, get these folk freed and bring them home to a press conference where they announced that their benefactor had re-mortgaged his house to pay their ransom and was a bit skint now, and they were inviting hundred quid donations, most folk on here would be shelling out quite happily, cos we are all a bunch of big wussey softies really. Aren't we?
Please read the story below with humour - I just thought that maybe this topic could do with some...... (oh, and before you have a go at me, I said I would happily chip in a hundred smackers next door).
Although it could all turn out to be very real.
If this were to happen (ie a ransom paid for the Chandlers), just imagine what effect it will have on 'pirates' in other waters?
I am thinking in particular of the ganja guys running a lil herb and weed outta St Vincent to the other Caribbean islands (like Barbados - we are one of their main cash customers).
OK, they are not pirates really, they probably think of themselves as simply engaging in a bit of commerce in the whole spirit of free enterprise.
Oh! Just had a thought - the Somali lads probably consider themselves to be businessmen as well.
The ganja guys out here earn good money from their trade - if they can successfully land 500 lbs of herb on a beach in Barbados and abscond rapidly back home (100 miles, say just over 2 hours in a Cigarette if the sea is calm), then they are looking at a return of perhaps GBP 500k (?? I am not too well up on the market these days) at wholesale prices.
But - and there always is a big butt around (usually a politicians), if it looks too good to be true, it probably is - they do stand a very good chance of getting blown out of the water by our Coastguard here, who take a pretty dim view of such business ventures.
And our Coastguard also have a very nice fleet of new Damen vessels equipped with some pretty impressive fire power.
And they need practice at using these toys......
Hence if the CG boys see a boat out on a jolly that looks like it might be carrying some business men in tea-cosyed dreads with wholesale goods from Vincyland for export, and a friendly round of fire just over their lugholes does not encourage them to stop for a friendly chat and a cuppa (like what the UKBA boyz in black like to do with their clients), they aim a wee bit lower next time, as they know that there is a nice big 200+ gallon fibreglass petrol tank just below the waterline.........
(3 x 300 hp Yamahas at full chat are thirsty beasts).
I am told (by pals who live on the west coast and have been out fishing at night) that the effect of one of these blowing up is pretty dramatic......
Solves a lot of potential future problems one time as well - the Coastguard dont need to worry about tedious stuff like arrests, trials, owners wanting their seized boats back afterwards........ and this is all done in silence - no PR agents or reps involved.
It is (sort of) sending a message to the folks back home in Vincyland - dont **** with us boys.
The logical solution for the ganja guys in such circumstances?
Look for a rather safer (and perhaps just as lucrative) occupation.
Hmmm, what can we turn our entrepreneurial abilities to next?
Growing bananas and arrowroot is just not on - that is hard work, and we dont even get paid peanuts, let alone greenbacks.
Lobster diving? Nah, they have all been fished out. The wise ones that are left have beat a hasty retreat to deeper waters, and if we go down there we have a good chance of getting bent (ie the bends).
And that decompression chamber in Barbados is a looooong way away.....
Fishing? Forget it. Been there, done that. It sucks. Big time. Besides, the longliners from Barbados are sneaking in and tiefing our tunas, leaving none for us.
Yuh tink de Bajan CG is worried 'bout dey boys tiefing we fish?
Ah ha! Just saw on the 60" plasma telly via Sky at home that de boyz in Somaliland have just started a new business of hijacking yachts.
Heck, why didnt we think of this before? Of course!
Just look at all those nice Moorings and Sunsail yachts in the Grenadines.
With rich tourists on board, awash with gold credit cards.
Where do we get a credit card machine from I wonder.....?
Can we register a fictitious tourism hospitality company in Switzerland to keep the credit card bods happy?
Do you really think that if we go and hijack one of them, our PM will send our CG after us?
Nah, he is probably already thinking of ways of taxing us......
Hey, yuh know this could be worth a trial run boys, what do you reckon?
I am sure that David Jersey would approve of my story above (?) - I might even get an accolade from his friend downthecreek for it!
Please note that the story above is all fiction - take it with a pinch of salt (or ganja, or a thimble of single malt....) - however it would appear that the possibility of it becoming Caribbean non fiction one day does exist if ransoms for yachts do get paid.
), after reading Webbie's thread about us lot all chipping in to the pot for the Chandlers (and getting a bit baffled at times).I did post it initially on his thread, but then thought I had better edit it, and move it here.... no offence intended to anybody whatsoever, but if it raises a chuckle or two, I hope that is no bad thing.
I think that if some generous benefactor did happen to quietly cough up the dosh, get these folk freed and bring them home to a press conference where they announced that their benefactor had re-mortgaged his house to pay their ransom and was a bit skint now, and they were inviting hundred quid donations, most folk on here would be shelling out quite happily, cos we are all a bunch of big wussey softies really. Aren't we?
Please read the story below with humour - I just thought that maybe this topic could do with some...... (oh, and before you have a go at me, I said I would happily chip in a hundred smackers next door).
Although it could all turn out to be very real.
If this were to happen (ie a ransom paid for the Chandlers), just imagine what effect it will have on 'pirates' in other waters?
I am thinking in particular of the ganja guys running a lil herb and weed outta St Vincent to the other Caribbean islands (like Barbados - we are one of their main cash customers).
OK, they are not pirates really, they probably think of themselves as simply engaging in a bit of commerce in the whole spirit of free enterprise.
Oh! Just had a thought - the Somali lads probably consider themselves to be businessmen as well.
The ganja guys out here earn good money from their trade - if they can successfully land 500 lbs of herb on a beach in Barbados and abscond rapidly back home (100 miles, say just over 2 hours in a Cigarette if the sea is calm), then they are looking at a return of perhaps GBP 500k (?? I am not too well up on the market these days) at wholesale prices.
But - and there always is a big butt around (usually a politicians), if it looks too good to be true, it probably is - they do stand a very good chance of getting blown out of the water by our Coastguard here, who take a pretty dim view of such business ventures.
And our Coastguard also have a very nice fleet of new Damen vessels equipped with some pretty impressive fire power.
And they need practice at using these toys......
Hence if the CG boys see a boat out on a jolly that looks like it might be carrying some business men in tea-cosyed dreads with wholesale goods from Vincyland for export, and a friendly round of fire just over their lugholes does not encourage them to stop for a friendly chat and a cuppa (like what the UKBA boyz in black like to do with their clients), they aim a wee bit lower next time, as they know that there is a nice big 200+ gallon fibreglass petrol tank just below the waterline.........
(3 x 300 hp Yamahas at full chat are thirsty beasts).
I am told (by pals who live on the west coast and have been out fishing at night) that the effect of one of these blowing up is pretty dramatic......
Solves a lot of potential future problems one time as well - the Coastguard dont need to worry about tedious stuff like arrests, trials, owners wanting their seized boats back afterwards........ and this is all done in silence - no PR agents or reps involved.
It is (sort of) sending a message to the folks back home in Vincyland - dont **** with us boys.
The logical solution for the ganja guys in such circumstances?
Look for a rather safer (and perhaps just as lucrative) occupation.
Hmmm, what can we turn our entrepreneurial abilities to next?
Growing bananas and arrowroot is just not on - that is hard work, and we dont even get paid peanuts, let alone greenbacks.
Lobster diving? Nah, they have all been fished out. The wise ones that are left have beat a hasty retreat to deeper waters, and if we go down there we have a good chance of getting bent (ie the bends).
And that decompression chamber in Barbados is a looooong way away.....
Fishing? Forget it. Been there, done that. It sucks. Big time. Besides, the longliners from Barbados are sneaking in and tiefing our tunas, leaving none for us.
Yuh tink de Bajan CG is worried 'bout dey boys tiefing we fish?
Ah ha! Just saw on the 60" plasma telly via Sky at home that de boyz in Somaliland have just started a new business of hijacking yachts.
Heck, why didnt we think of this before? Of course!
Just look at all those nice Moorings and Sunsail yachts in the Grenadines.
With rich tourists on board, awash with gold credit cards.
Where do we get a credit card machine from I wonder.....?
Can we register a fictitious tourism hospitality company in Switzerland to keep the credit card bods happy?
Do you really think that if we go and hijack one of them, our PM will send our CG after us?
Nah, he is probably already thinking of ways of taxing us......
Hey, yuh know this could be worth a trial run boys, what do you reckon?
I am sure that David Jersey would approve of my story above (?) - I might even get an accolade from his friend downthecreek for it!
Please note that the story above is all fiction - take it with a pinch of salt (or ganja, or a thimble of single malt....) - however it would appear that the possibility of it becoming Caribbean non fiction one day does exist if ransoms for yachts do get paid.
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