Penalities. (NB humour...?)

[BlueSkyNick]

Good News: Saddam is facing the death penalty.

Bad News: David Beckham is going to be taking it !!

<hr width=100% size=1>It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

 

[mirabriani]

I might have altered slightly to make it boaty but.......
Looking at a boat recently and admired the storage. Lots of jars with the lids screwed at the top, marked, Nut Screws Washers and Bolts.
Reminded me of headline in The Sun about a story of person escaped from
asylum assaulted girls in laundry and ran off.
Oh well! Briani

<hr width=100% size=1><P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by mirabriani on 02/07/2004 13:53 (server time).</FONT></P>

 

[boatless]

A man had great tickets for the Euro 2004 final. As he sits down, another
man comes over and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No,"
he says. "The seat is empty. "
"This is incredible!" said the man." Who in their right mind would have a
seat like this for the Euro 2004 Final, the biggest sporting event in the
world and not use it?" He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My
wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first
Final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find
someone else - a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No they're all at the funeral."

<hr width=100% size=1>my opinion is complete rubbish, probably.

 

[janeK]

Sent to me from Holand too good to miss - so passing on to you (thanks "Beagle")

The England Football Coach, Sven Goran Ericsson is on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and has reached the million pound question.
Chris Tarrant Says "Right Sven, this is for one million pounds, and remember, you still have two lifelines left, so please take your time.' Here's your question:

What type of animal lives in a Set? Is it... a) a badger b) a ferret c) a mole or d) a cuckoo?
Sven ponders for a while and says "No, I'm sorry Chris, I'm not too sure. I'll have to go 50-50."
Right, Sven, let's take away two wrong answers and see what you're left with. "Badger" and "Cuckoo" are the Two remaining answers.
Sven has a long think, then scratches his head and says
"No, Chris, I'm still not sure, I'm going to have to phone a friend."
So who are you going to call, Sven?" says Chris.
Hmmm.. I think I'll call David Beckham."
So Tarrant phones David Beckham.
"David, this is Chris Tarrant from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'. I've got Sven Goran Ericsson here, and with your help he could win one million pounds. The next voice you hear will be Sven's".
"Hello David" says Sven. "It's the boss here. What type of animal lives in a sett? Is it a badger or a cuckoo?"
"It's a badger, boss." says Becks without hesitation.
"You sure, son?" says Sven. "Definitely, boss. One hundred per cent. It's a badger. Definitely".
Right, Chris," says Sven, "I'll go with David. The answer's a badger. Final answer".
"Sven," says Chris, "That's the correct answer. You've won One Million Pounds!!" Cue wild celebrations.
Next morning at training, Sven calls Beckham across.
"Son, that was brilliant last night. I thought I might be taking a gamble giving you a call, but you played a blinder! But how the hell did you know that a badger lives in a sett?"
"Oh... I didn't, boss," replies Beckham, "But everybody knows a cuckoo lives In a clock"


<hr width=100% size=1>
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
JaneK