Pass my 12 bore

That's probably the same one that decorated my deck the day after I finished cleaning the winter grime off it. At least a blast with the hose shifted it.
 
There must be something in the British air because within a week I have had shite hawk shit on both my cars and my dinghy sails out drying today. Also the dinghy cover which has remained shite hawk shit free all winter, had a dob of shite hawk shit on the strap that I bundled up. I dont have a shot gun but I do have some Hexamine Fuel Tablets for my Mamod Steam Engine. I hear the shite hawks mistake them for bread - that should solve the turd bucket problem.
 
Twister_Ken said:
It's a well known fact that **** happens, but if I ever get the seagull in my sights that managed to drop one a foot in from the clew of my genoa, last time it was being furled, it's going to get a serious dose of lead poisoning.
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Yes. I know how you feel.

A similar incident happened to me about 10 year's ago. I have been too angry to talk about it till now.

However, I think you will find that many seagulls are are enrolling for self image courses up and down the country.

This is sure to make a difference.
 
LONG_KEELER said:
Yes. I know how you feel.

A similar incident happened to me about 10 year's ago. I have been too angry to talk about it till now.

However, I think you will find that many seagulls are are enrolling for self image courses up and down the country.

This is sure to make a difference.
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I but hte bloody tax pay is paying for them as well... Hangum I say!
 
Twister_Ken said:
It's a well known fact that **** happens, but if I ever get the seagull in my sights that managed to drop one a foot in from the clew of my genoa, last time it was being furled, it's going to get a serious dose of lead poisoning.
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Steradent, wrapped in doughy sliced bread, does wonders! alledgedly!
Stu
 
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The grey elevations of our business units here in Chichester look like cliffs to the (noisy) ****e hawks who are just starting to nest on the roof, in the coming weeks we will need to wash our cars just about every day to remove the acid these f'ing things excrete!
 
whilst it is illegal to interfere with any nesting bird, a small laser pointer doesn't half put the scaries up a flying one.

Or hoist one of these on your roof:

http://www.scarem.co.uk/


Or the technical answer - but at a cost:

http://www.martleyelectronics.co.uk/audible-bird-scarers/400-bs-marine-gull-scarer.html


On the grounds of Health and Safety (preventing staff from being mobbed, preventing disease from gull faeces, [while many alternative nest sites are available elsewhere]) you could get away with some form of active control.
 
Twister_Ken said:
It's a well known fact that **** happens, but if I ever get the seagull in my sights that managed to drop one a foot in from the clew of my genoa, last time it was being furled, it's going to get a serious dose of lead poisoning.
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I have to remonstrate with you. Lead shot is passe and poisons other more desirable wild-life. Use steel shot instead!

Surely, there must be SOMETHING that eats sea-gulls? Isn't there a biologist (preferably one with a crazed laugh) who could design something? A seagull eating variant of an albatross, maybe? Or a re-targetted Vulture?
 
sarabande said:
one hears that the RSPCA is very angry that people are apparently feeding carbide to the birds.
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I heard about this from someone who grew up on one of the last of the Thames barges. Apparently birds (****ehawks at least) can't burp, so if fed something that emits gas they will eventually burst. The thing among the lads on the barges was to try to get one to explode above your mate's freshly scrubbed deck :)

Not sure the biomechanics of that rings fully true, but it's a good story.

Pete
 
AntarcticPilot said:
Surely, there must be SOMETHING that eats seagulls? A seagull-eating variant of an albatross, maybe? Or a re-targeted vulture?
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But what would their droppings be like? :eek: And is there any reason to think they'd be any more sensitive about where they'd drop 'em?
 
dancrane said:
But what would their droppings be like? :eek: And is there any reason to think they'd be any more sensitive about where they'd drop 'em?
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Yes, but the good news is that there wouldn't be so many. You get fewer individuals as you move up the food chain! So, replacing maybe 1000 seagulls with one seagull predator seems to me to improve the odds a bit. Of course, if it was a marine predator, then the poop goes in the sea anyway. Win/win situation, in that case!
 
dancrane said:
I'm concerned that you're going to introduce us to an old boy resembling Dickie Attenborough, who's cultivated a large, irascible bird-like creature without feathers...
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Well, birds are the modern descendants of dinosaurs! Interestingly, that idea was just gaining credence when the movie was made - that's why the velociraptors (though unrealistic in some regards) had bird-like movement characteristics. AFAIR, modern research suggests they were also fluffy!

Maybe that's why seagulls poo on us - they think of us as upstart mammals who would never have got where we are if there hadn't been this meteor strike...

Back to my idea - all it needs is someone with innovative idea about design, who thinks outside the box. Now who do we know like that???
 
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