Mooring field

[zoidberg]

Anyone you know?

 

[PabloPicasso]

My father "retired" to driving a London black cab.

One day he was driving a tourist from Paddington to Heathrow (I won't say what country the fare was from, but he referred to the M4 as a "freeway"). Anyway, said tourist tapped on the glass partition and asked;

Why do all the cars driving into London have white number plates, and those going to the airport have yellow ones?

 

[Seashoreman]

I was sitting on the boat tied to a quay on a tidal river, upstream on the mud on a fallen tide (Snape Maltings). Along comes the same
tourist as the previous guy in the car, post #2. " So, you waiting for the rains"? Must admit I was lost for words.

 

[RunAgroundHard]

Disney World, California. Daughter is ill with a cold and sore throat, so call the doctor in. She turns up with red high heals and white jeans and notices that we are Scottish.

“Jeeze, is it all bogs”, she exclaims.

I think she believes that Disney movies are factual.

 

[ylop]

I hope you told her you’d had to buy pants specially for the trip.

 

[BobnLesley]

One stinking hot day in Fethiye Bay we, along with two other yachts sat to our stern anchors in an effort to catch a bit more breeze in the cockpit. It was far too hot to be going ashore, so we instead sat under the cockpit awnings, drinking beer and being entertained by those boats (there were at least half-a-dozen) who tried to drop a bow anchor and dig it in while sitting stern to wind in line with ours. That was far from the only time (or place) this happened, but that was the one where it was most often repeated.

 

[zoidberg]

we, along with two other yachts sat to our stern anchors in an effort to catch a bit more breeze in the cockpit....
....so we instead sat under the cockpit awnings, drinking beer and being entertained

"If Carlsberg did anchors...."

 

[Chiara’s slave]

One stinking hot day in Fethiye Bay we, along with two other yachts sat to our stern anchors in an effort to catch a bit more breeze in the cockpit. It was far too hot to be going ashore, so we instead sat under the cockpit awnings, drinking beer and being entertained by those boats (there were at least half-a-dozen) who tried to drop a bow anchor and dig it in while sitting stern to wind in line with ours. That was far from the only time (or place) this happened, but that was the one where it was most often repeated.

If you anchor in the right spot for it in Newtown, there’s a tidal whirlpool about 100m across. There you can see boats sitting to their bow anchors, 50m apart, facing in opposite directions. Not so surprising that Newtown must be the top spot for pyjama parties at 2am.

 

[PabloPicasso]

Some years ago I was queuing at a diner on a road trip in Canada, when a man dressed like a Lumberjack asked where I was from. England, I replied.

After a pause he asked, and what language do y'all speak over there in England?

 

[Minerva]

Disney World, California. Daughter is ill with a cold and sore throat, so call the doctor in. She turns up with red high heals and white jeans and notices that we are Scottish.

“Jeeze, is it all bogs”, she exclaims.

I think she believes that Disney movies are factual.

If you called hotel reception asking for a nurse to come to your room, and that “nurse” turns up red stilettos - are you sure there wasn’t a minor misunderstanding about what exactly you were looking for?

 

[zoidberg]

'When in Rome - or Vegas - do as the Roman do!'

 

[ProDave]

Whilst in Australia, East coast. American tourist asks "What ocean is that" "Pacific" was the reply. "It can't be, the Pacific Ocean is in America!"

 

[BobnLesley]

Whilst in Australia, West coast. American tourist asks "What ocean is that" "Pacific" was the reply. "It can't be, the Pacific Ocean is in America!"

The American was right... It's the Indian Ocean off Australia's west coast

 

[BobnLesley]

...in Canada,.. when a man dressed like a Lumberjack ... asked, and what language do y'all speak over there in England?

I made some comment during a multinational dinner party in Cuba, whereupon a girl from South Carolina enquired of her boyfriend "What did he say in English?"

 

[SaltIre]

If you called hotel reception asking for a nurse to come to your room, and that “nurse” turns up red stilettos - are you sure there wasn’t a minor misunderstanding about what exactly you were looking for?

Their doctor turned up with high heals, which seems most appropriate.