MARINE FINANCE

[Guest]

Do you know someone who has bought a boat recently (say, within the last 2
years)? Motor or sail (but pref. motor), big or small. If you think they might
be willing to talk to a journo about their purchase and how they raised the
money, please contact Will Stirling, KRT ext 5495, (020 7261 5495). Thanks

Will

 

[hlb]

No problem.
Sent th-wife out to work for ten years to pay for it.
Then sent her out for the next ten to pay for the maintanance.
Maitanance takes on a whole new meaning where boats are concerned!!
Is there another answer??

Haydn

 

[Guest]

I'm happy to talk (at a price) Strapped up to finance. bought at top price pre 9/11
Cashed in endowment thought boat was better investment . can call me anytime
i'm in the Psychiatric ward for boat owners . Tel. 07767 692938.

 

[ChrisP]

Sold wife. Bought boat. Wife returned under faulty goods act. Now in Dover Straits!!

 

[Guest]

Chrisp, should't that read Dire Straights. Great band eh?

 

[Guest]

Re: Writing an article on MARINE FINANCE

This is no good Will. We know nothing, we're all either rich or daft or both, so don't need a mort. Ringup the main floggers, only too desperate to tell you all the ins and outs. Also avoids "trailing" an article on the forum.

 

[Guest]

hlb and ChrisP

There seems to be a common thread here. You both seem to have either sold your wives, or subjected them to forced labour, in order to acquire your floating play things. Harsh, but... fair? Discuss.

If anyone has any other examples of 'sacrifices' made in the questionnably fulfilling pursuit of leisure boating, please let me know. Alternatively, if you have any interesting comments on the process of buying a boat, whether or not it was a pleasant experience, please get in touch.
Over.

Will Stirling
MBY
020 7261 5495

 

[Guest]

Re: MARINE FINANCE article- first paragraph for newboy at MBY, Mr Sterling...

Portrait of a man on the south coast of the United Kingdom, Europe. The location: Southampton Boat Show. The time: somewhere in the present, late summer. He's marvelling at the maze of man-made maritime machinery. His senses are slowly but surely succumbing to strange yet powerful primtive forces. They're taking control of his logical powers of reasoning. On the pontoon of life he's torn between the performance of the petrols, the power of the diesels, the command of a flybridge against the pure form of the sports cruiser. Yet with his limited financial resources, he's knows all too well that without external help he can never tame these irrational primeval desires within, their strength increasing by the second, by the minute, by the hour. And that's why on this specific day in his life, we find him in this specific location within this specific Boat Show. So come with us, as we follow him beyond sight and sound of the Guinness tent to...
The Marine Finance Zone.

 

[BarryD]

Re: MARINE FINANCE article- first paragraph for newboy at MBY, Mr Sterling...

Mr Smith, let's call him Mr Smith, was a quiet hard working man. 38 years old in the prime of heatlh. But somehow life had past him by. His friends from college were married, his parents dead and yet the lure of the white GRP stirred something in him.

Some years before when life had been somehow brighter, he had saved and this with the help of "Gil" the finance salesman would allow him to accomplish the ownership rights. Thundering diesels, beeping GPS and the feel of the twin morse controls in his hand. Oh yes it will be mine.

The paper is placed before him, Gils hand carefully concels the term and APR figures....

Barry D.

 

[Guest]

Re: eh?

Very nice, BUT

The point of my bit was a spoof of that american 50s-60s series "The twilight zone" introduced on set by Rod Sterling. Cos will is called sterling too, see?

I must be a very old git. Or praps just remeber the 70s repeats.

anyway, on with the story...

 

[Guest]

Re: Marine Finance Zone Act I, Scenes 1-3

scene 1 : The Unbeleievably Hot Zone. Office with fans running full tilt, everyone simulates sweating lots. This is a nice cheap scene, as simply need to spray people faces with water.

Will: My god it's hot in here!
Man in office: Yes, the temperature's been rising all day. Its unbeleieveably hot! [gasps]
Will's girlfiriend: Dya think they'll be able to sort out some finance for us here Will. Wel dooyah honey?
Will: I don't think so honey. Someone or SOMETHING is controlling the atmosphere. We've gotta get outa here, and fast...
W'G: Awww. I don't like it here Will, let's go Will, aw please honey (crys and runs after Will)


Scene 2 : The Monochrome Zone. Also cheap, seeing as the prog is black and white too.

Will: Well lookee here, honey, everything is all black and white. There's no colour at all.
Man in office: yes indeedy sir, the colour disappeared from our lives last week, never been seen since
Will's girlfiriend: Dya think they'll be able to sort out some finance for us here Will? Wel dooyah honey?
Will: I don't think so honey. Someone or SOMETHING is controlling the atmosphere. We've gotta get outa here, and fast...
W'G: Awww. I don't like it here Will, let's go Will, aw please honey (crys and runs after Will)



scene 3 The "strangely completely deserted" zone. Chairs and everything just lying around. Almsot the cheapest of all zones, cept for tumbleweed outside.

Will: Well wilya lookee here then, honey? Seems the whole place is deserted. There's no chance of any Marine Finance whatsoever.
WG: Aw, kernt we have a boat like our maw and paw?
Will: I don't think so honey. Someone or SOMETHING is controlling the atmosphere. We've gotta get outa here, and fast...
W'G: Awww. I don't like it here Will, let's go Will, aw please honey (crys and runs after Will)





Epilogue

Will sterling was lucky. In the complex, contorted and confusing underworld of Marine Finance, he risked his life to get out, and get out fast. But many others are not so lucky. Bemused and bewitched, they become trapped for all eternity in a dimension beyond reach, beyond reality, beyond reason. A warning for all who dare to venture into ...The Marine Finance Zone.

 

[BarryD]

Re: eh?

I knew that - used to watch it in the 70s too. Could'nt capute the atmos. like your good self. I stand down. Also missed the Sterling connection.

Best one - was the WW1 fighter arriving at La Feat (?) in the 50/60s - Old Leadbottom.

Barry D.