Jet Skiers - is it right to shoot them?

Dyflin

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As one of the older members of our yacht club I am regularly called upon to advise on ethical problems. This inevitably involves having to proclaim unpopular positions, and, no doubt, there are many in our Youth Wing who consider me "an old fogey". For example, I have never tolerated the notion that those practising artificial contraception should be permitted to be among us on the open sea. Not a popular rule, but one which the Committee has thankfully enforced rigorously. I seek no reward for my work. When you live by the maxim "For evil to triumph it enough that good men should do nothing", you do not need the consolation of adulation. My most recent moral "stand off" occurred when we anchored for lunch during a cruise in company. I noticed one of our number assembling an elephant rifle. I knew in an instant that he was intending to shoot some jet skiers who were buzzing around nearby in the bay.

"Michael", I said, “Will you put that away for a minute and sit down here and we'll have a chat". Although I'm sure he groaned inwardly at the thought of a lecture, he, and some five others from the Youth Wing, sat crossed-legged at my feet, and listened. "Now", I said, "There isn't a sailor alive hasn't either shot a jet skier, or thought about it, and I'd be a liar if I told you otherwise. For sure it gives you short term popularity. Yes, you'll be toasted wherever our people congregate. And I can't deny that the human race is almost certainly better off without them. But Michael, and it’s a big 'but', it’s just not right. God made them skiers and gave them a soul just like you and I. He gave them free will, and they made bad choices. The devil himself got a hold of them, and now they seem beyond redemption. But we must not set ourselves up as Judges. Leave that to the Almighty. It’s not our call. Put the guns away kids and let’s continue sailing, sure in the knowledge that when we reach the great ocean in the sky, we shall look down from our lofty waters and watch the jet skiers buzzing around in Hell for all eternity. Now eat your sandwiches and we'll go."

You're wondering what happened next? Michael put away the gun, and he waited til I'd gone far ahead of the group, as I'm won't to do. Then he shot three of them...Shot them...but not until I was well away from the scene. Now that’s respect. You don't buy respect: you earn it.

(an original plagiarism, with thanks to mountainviews.ie)
 
We shot a couple with replica 18th Cannon in Liverpool Bay when sailing on Endeavour. Double points for scousers on Jet Skies. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

It was only newspaper we fired, but the cannon balls were ready I promise you.

Tim
 
I find myself impressed and just a tad more respectful of the sense of civic duty and common decency displayed by your goodself and your esteemed colleague Michael in your search to be of sound service to your companions and to our sailing-community-at-large.

And I'm wondering what 'load' seems to you, each, to be best suited to such a gun and the targets of opportunity that so present themselves.

Might I inquire whether you would consider the practice, so long adopted almost universally among 'rough shooters' and gamekeepers in this vicinity, of hanging their corpses from the fence around your esteemed Club, so as to discourage other vermin from gathering......?

/forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
 
There were strange goings on in Plymouth a few years ago when I was dinghy sailing, the jetskiers became friends of the sailing fraternity and joined in their games and thus received much praise and adulation, they visited the club and shared ale with the likes of the bearded folk with wizzened faces and rough handshakes...we even paid them handsomely for their petrol I believe and a jolly time was had by all.

We also provided amusement for them on the water as they had not experienced a pitch pole from close quarters before and laughed heartily as we flew to the end of our trapeze wires.

They were the best rescue craft as there were no props and they were already wet so didn't mind jumping in to help get boats and people the right way up.
 
It's been posted many times before, but there's a long and honourable tradition of shooting Jet Skiers, as evidenced by this classic shot of a Hobie Cat letting fly with an RPG:

jetkill2.jpg


/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Isn't there a bounty on them, like rats tails. I believe it is 3p per wetsuit zip. I certainly hope so as I have gathered a goodly bundle to be cashed in at the next assizes.
 
A true story ................

Many years ago standing in the Fishermen's bar at the Dar es Salaam Yacht Club slaking a considerable thirst after a hard day on the Indian Ocean, my friend Shaun appears shaking his head and requiring beer.

'Whats up?' I enquire - 'Bloody jetskier just rammed my boat'
says Shaun. True enough ten minutes later his Hartley dive boat appears under tow at the adjacent ramp to get hauled - with a two fooot diameter jetski-shaped hole midship.

On seeing this Dave, who's in 'security', pipes up (whilst hitching his Smith and Wesson) 'shall I send the boys round to extract the necessary?'

'Its Ok' says Shaun 'he agreed to pay, seemed quite shocked'. No doubt he'd be more shocked at the sight of Dave's S & W.

So you see....... a long time ago in a universe far, far away they really do shoot jetskiiers. /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
 
You can shoot jetskiers ,just be carefull to remove all lead shot from the meat before cooking.
 
NO! NO! NO! I am not at all in favour of shooting them. /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif

The noise it creates buggles up my afternoon nap in the cockpit. Can I therefore make a plea for the use of cross-bows? A gentle swish, a brief yelp and then PEACE! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
Might I suggest that this thread be combined with the "heads images" one. If there is difficulty in flushing the head when on the high side, perhaps some sort of air gun might be arranged. Better if it discharged through the transom, since that would make aiming easier. Probably would do no real harm, but could be quite discouraging even if protected by a wet suit.
 
You could have an accident with your speergun while having a quick dive,nobody would suspect. /forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
 
You could have an accident with your speergun while having a quick dive,nobody would suspect

I don't know about suspect .... from these posts I doubt anyone would care.

BTW TOPCAT Game has " seasons", vermin ...anytime.
 
[ QUOTE ]
You can shoot jetskiers ,just be carefull to remove all lead shot from the meat before cooking.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am a little perturbed by all this talk of shooting PWC( as they are known in Elfin Satiety circles) users.

It's damn unsportin' d'cha know. The right sort of chap or chapess just doesn't.
The correct method of terminating their activities in your vicinty is to drop an armed red or white hand held flare into their laps as they disturb your quiet lunch in Osborne Bay 6" off your dodgers.

Any that escape may be lawfully brought down using 40mm white paraluminary rockets by your paid hand.

If your local shoot gamekeeper is aboard for his annual beano, he may use his deer and other vermin rifle from the forehatch providing this does not spill your wine. He should be discouraged therefore from bringing his Barrett rifle, just the .223 and hollow points only, of course.

The use of red paraluminaries on PWC's is frowned on as Solent CG have enough to do d/w Sunseeker and Sunsail radio check seekers, etc.

The use of 10,000 candle flares ensures that the shot problem does not occurr, and the meat arrives aboard ready broiled. Neoprene flavour is however not comparable to a garlic rub.
Your chef should have plenty of apple sauce to go with the "long pig".

Bon appetit
/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
As previously mentioned to help get rid of Bilob's bunnies....

Mini Gun

Mounted on the push pit , and maybe a second f'wd, I cant help think that this would be a substantial deterent.

And Legal too!
 
Thanks again, P-Dog! I'm certainly attracted to the idea, and am talking to a local Microlight owner about fitting one of those 'Gatling'-type miniguns, to emulate the A-10 'Warthog'. That would certainly give the bunnies something to think about...

And so would another of their products - this flamethrower....


MVC-Flame.jpg



.....although I'm not yet convinced of the legality of either product here, as I note the manufacturers are based in Texas ( where else? )

/forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
The Gatling's jammed and the Colonel's dead!"


[/ QUOTE ]
So its not all bad news then? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
A popular ploy (well, it was popular with the liveaboards) in Falmouth (Antigua) to deal with 'the beautiful people' (hairdressers from Luton, in the main) who 'zoomed' around the anchorage standing up posing in their high-powered RIBs, was to string a length of chicken wire between anchored boats. It had the benefit of being silent, needed no tending once set up and could be used to send bottles of rum between the boats in the event of 'rum failure' by a sort of breeches buoy arrangement. I feel sure this could be adapted.
BTW, by decapitating the 'long pig', you reduce the hanging time considerably.
 
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