Indispensable Tips!

[jimi]

One thing I've learned over the last few years is that its easy (if expensive) to get hold of all the generally accepted indispensables and keep them on a boat. However everytime I talk to someone they mention something that they've found indispensable that I would never have thought of. What's your tip?

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[Stingo]

Don't have one but was impressed with that piece of paper that you have stuck above your chart table. Can't remember what it was meant to remind me about but can remember that is was not the one about how the heating works. Can you make a posting of what it was?

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.stingo.co.uk>http://www.stingo.co.uk</A> <font color=blue>- still showing at a computer near you</font color=blue>

 

[jimi]

It was a list of all the radio channels and their functions, together with the correct radio procedures including a template for a Mayday call. Correct phonetic for the boat name and radio call sign. Also a few of the more common "pro" words. I laminated it and stuck it next to the radio.

PersonallyI think the heating instructions are more important!

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[Twister_Ken]

Apart from the road atlas, the most useful single item aboard Indigo is undoubtedly Madame, but she's neither cheap nor easy to acquire (not in the earlier days at least). Otherwise, I'm very fond of my chopping board (Robert Dyas £4.99) which has some stick on Velcro (Yachtmail £4.99 + p&p) on the back so that it can be 'hung' up near the galley and stays there. Serves as chopping board (culinary), chopping board (boat maintenance), somewhere for putting hot dishes, knee desk when writing stuff in the cockpit and a spare piece of timber should it ever be needed as such.

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[Evadne]

Given the amount of oil and diesel our Yanmar has thrown into the bilges over the last few years, the tip about using disposable nappies to mop it all up is one I'd recommend. Don't leave them in the bilges too long though, the gel they all now contain explodes everywhere after half an hour.

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[Aja]

Keep enough money in the boat kitty for your next trip to the chandlers. I for one always see something!!!

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[NigeCh]

Bottled water to make coffee; Dust pan and brush to sweep up wet coffee grounds; 12" super-sharp bread knife to cut rope or net around the propshaft; Drysuit and scuba gear to deploy 12" bread knife.


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[claymore]

Self amalgamating tape.
for all those little taping up jobs that need doing

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[dulcibella]

A couple of wire coathangers for conversion into probes and hooks for reaching things dropped into the bowels of the yacht.

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[ecudc]

um how about asking whether your boat has a holding tank or not before you buy it.

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[chas]

Reminds of the chap who worked circumcising elephants. The pay was'nt very good but the tips were enormous

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[Peter_the_Grate]

Always have a sense of humour on board with you.

and...

Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side.

She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his fitful slumber.

He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "Becky my darling," he whispered.

"Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."

He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess."

"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everything's all right, go to sleep."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I .... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!"

"I know, my sweet one" whispered Becky, "that's why I poisoned you."



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[jhr]

Having an elephant's foreskin has many advantages, but one enormous drawback......

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[boatmatch]

The most indispensable thing on a boat is a table at the back for the owner to be able to sign the cheques.
By the way - this is from a client so don't blame me.
The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at
the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however,and
Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have
heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast,
and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests
are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."
Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking
forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope
the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was." Saint Peter
goes on, "Yes, I know Forest. But, the test I have for you is only three
questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter
'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God's
first name?"

Forest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and
goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions. Saint Peter
waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the
questions over, tell me your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one, - how many days of the week begin with
the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow !" The
saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forest ! That's not what I was
thinking, but ... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify,
so I give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one" says Saint Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that,
and I guess the only answer can be twelve." Astounded, Saint Peter says,
"Twelve! Twelve! Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve
seconds in a year?" Forest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January
second, February second, March second....." "Hold it," interrupts Saint
Peter. "I see where you're going with it. And I guess I see your point,
though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. I'll give you credit for that
one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter, "Can you
tell me God's first name?" Forest says, "Well shore, I know God's first
name. Everbody probly knows it. It's Howard."

"Howard?" asks Saint Peter. "What makes you think it's 'Howard'?" Forest
answers, "It's in the prayer." "The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which
prayer?" "The Lord's Prayer," responds Forest: "Our Father, who art in
heaven, Howard be thy name...."

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[Rowana]

Forest Gump!

The way I heard it, the third question was -

"What is the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?"

Forest's answer -

"Thats easy, it's Andy"

"How do you make that out" says St P


"Andy sang, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled . . ."


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[alan_d]

Re: Forest Gump!

My daughter's favourite song used to be "Hamish The Tambourine Man" (Bob Dylan).

Alan

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[BlackSheep]

Re: Forest Gump!

I remember a hymn all about vision impaired cuddly toys.....
..... Gladly my cross-eyed bear.....!

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Forest Gump!

And Jimmy Hendrix

"Scuse me will I kiss this guy"

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[max_power]

Tow Your Underpants !

If not for Britain, think of your shipmates !

On an extended trip it's probably underpants that need a wash now and then - to hell with the rest !

After about an hour they will come up more stainlesss than stainless steel. Rinse in fresh water and hang out to dry.Bootifull........

Only do this on neaps though. Unless you want to dye them green.


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