I am not authorised to ...

[ParaHandy]

... give you my name ... said the captain of this ship in reply to joburg's request as to what her name and intentions were ...

she came out of the mist to within 2 cables which would normally have had us blown out of the water, i thought?

very, very nearly called joburg up to give her name .. USS San Jacinto and Aegis cruiser and one of my crew i am ashamed to say did a full Jura mooning and several allah akbhars until restrained but then, he'd recently returned from a stint at G Buff(h)oon's request in basra, eeeraq ...

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[cameronke]

I wouldn't want to get too close to that thing! You could cook if thier phased array radar is lit up, I believe that sailors cannot go on deck when radar is on

Regards
cameron

You may want to inspect your crewmates buttocks for scorching, but then again maybe you wont!

<hr width=100% size=1>Work to live, live to sail

 

[ParaHandy]

ooohhh ... (twitch .. nervous ... ) details, pls, of this imminent catastrophe so's we can sue the bolx of them ........ (for loss of bolx, you see ... twitch ... shudder ... )

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[jimi]

Scorched buttocks

I have it on good authority that the good ship Passing Wind does encourage fart lighting competitions whilst on passage .. good for crew morale you know .. apparently the all time record is held by TK who whilst fast asleep was busy emmitting serious noise from both ends, something to do with pie & beans I beleive. Eventually BigNick, a man of stout heart and stern countenance, screwed his courage to the sticking point and crept forward armed with Vesta's best. The deed was done just as TK let an extra biggun go and the resulting flame knocked the mirror off the wall in the adjoining heads. Fortunately TK had a small follow through which extinguished the blow back. BigNick's nasal and aural hair disappeared in the melee. Fortunately TK slept soundly through the entire episode and is completely unaware of it all and put his burnt knickers down to sitting on Para's ashtray ..

<hr width=100% size=1>I've got a wonderful profile.

 

[cameronke]

Re: Scorched buttocks

Och you paint a gruesome picture

Regards
Cameron

<hr width=100% size=1>Work to live, live to sail

 

[ParaHandy]

Re: Scorched buttocks

oi ... youse black enamelled toe rag ... no need to tell them the boat's name, is there? ah mean to say the US marine corp will be efter me nooo. ahm a marked man .... jings, crikey ....

mind ... the boat's nivver gone so well with all that wind frae his airse ....

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[Talulah]

Re: Scorched buttocks

They were also reminded to shut up during a Mayday. The coastguard was heard on more than one occasion to say USS Warship - Silance Mayday.
We came across 5 of these ships including a supply vessel en route to the Channel Islands. They all came together. Had an excahnge of small ribs dashing from one to the other and then split up again.

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[ParaHandy]

Re: Scorched buttocks

did you win??!!

hmm ... the captain was getting a bit rattled by then. he told a ship that he was going to overtake on his port side at 19kn at which point solent (who were trying to save a diver after a 50m uncontrolled ascent) told him to shut up ...

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[janeK]

Re: Scorched buttocks

'told him to shut up ... '

THEN what happened... do tell...


<hr width=100% size=1>JaneK

 

[cameronke]

An urban myth apparently but still an amusing yarn.............

ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."

Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."

Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

Regards
Cameron


<hr width=100% size=1>Work to live, live to sail