How much should I drink?

[longjohnsilver]

Sat here drinking some of the booze brought back from cherbourg last month, 8.8% premium beer, £10 for 24 cans!! wondering when I should stop. Still got about 10 crates of beer left (don't drink much in the way of shorts), mostly Old Speckled Hen, excellent stugf.

Should I save the rest for Christmas or get on and use it before it goes off? It must have a short shelf life!!!

Most Christmases have far too much to drink early in the morning and go to sleep before lunch, get bollocked by wife and kids, drink some more and then go back to sleep in afternoon having upset inlaws.

Do I have a drink problem, too many cans to get through or should I seek help? (Far too many of my friends more than willing to help reduce stocks!!!)

All suggestions gratefully received, along with donations to drinks cabinet!!!!

 

[Guest]

Re: My name is..er...

I watched as a gang of lads load up with "sans alcohol" beer in calais. I wonder if you have bought the same stuff since no sign of dodgy spelling?

Apparently, the first step on the road to recovery is recognition that you have a problem. Mind you, this must therefore also the last thing you think of before actually having a drink problem, if it's a return trip?

I discovered a sure way of finding out after an ill-advised swimming trip in the solent, osborne bay. on returning back to the boat I was very cold but HAD A CUP OF TEA. Whereas if had been a total pisshead, I wd've probly had whisky, see? there again, if I'd been more sober I might not have gone swimming in the first place, but it's important to have little headstones isn't it?

 

[longjohnsilver]

Re: My name is..er...

You must be bloody joking, sans alcohol is pure gnats piss. The post took me at least 10 minutes to check fo rspeling mistakes (my names not Haydn!)

I don't need a swim in the Solent to sort out the problem, just give me another can, tinny,pint, bottle.............

 

[Guest]

Re: My name is..er...

Correct response there ljs.

This is indeed a very serious issue. You may well have made a very bad mistake buying all that beer up front. Beer goes off very quickly indeed. I would suggest that shelf life of most beer I have ever bought (which is shit loads) is less than a week. Hopefully with the extra alcohol content in it may last a little longer. I would recommend you get stuck into it as soon as possible before you have to just throw it away. Just explain to your wife that you had NO idea the shelf life was so short and you don't want to take the risk of wasting all that money that could have been better used to buy shoes for the kids.

Don't mess around ljs get into it.....fast. If I was on that side of the world I would make time in my busy schedule to help your desparate situation out.

Wishing you luck.

 

[Guest]

Re: My name is..er...

I forgot to mention the bit about the inlaws. Don't worry about them. You would be annoying them whether you had too much beer or not. Their job in life is to be annoyed and nothing will solve this.

I solved this problem a few years ago now and Christmas day has taken on a new meaning. I wake up and have Xmas with the kids, take them over to their mothers place (the ex) where they stay for a few days. My family has their Xmas a few days earlier so I am then free to go sailing for a few days!! How many other boats do you think are out there to annoy me??? NONE! They usually come out the day aftyer boxing day when leave passes are given and I'm heading back to get the kids from the dragon and head back out with them!! Best of both worlds

 

[ChrisP]

Serious problem. You've let too many people know that you have a pile of beer. You must drink all stocks now, then advise all and sundry that you are completly beerless. This will put off all forms of inlaws and drinking buddies. After this decloration has been fully published you can return to the supermarket for a restock. This will allow you to return to a cosy alchohol induced slumber on Christmas day sure in the knowledge that interuptions will be few and may be countered with beery bodily functions.
Alternativly you can spend Christmas on the boat as we are. The coded gate at the end of the pontoon serves as barrier between me and the unwanted visitors.

 

[BarryD]

Team FireFly to the rescue

LJS - We have received your post, and I've turned on the MVII searchlight - even now the shape of a Petrol Bowser is being played against the skies in London.

Smooth suave sophisticated (Huh!) Matts is running to the subterranean tunnel to get the drone mobile out, DaveS is standing at the wardrobe door choosing his loudest shirt and I'm explaining to Lloyds Bank why I need a £500 loan for a tank of petrol. KevB is alerting the news services and denying any involvement in the rabble.

Yes it's team "FireFly" to the rescue. We will help you drink your beer, it is dangerous stuff if not consumed within 24 hours of purchase. Spirits are worse, they must be drunk on the day of purchase and the less said about wine the better.

We are a national rescue function and can call on many members to help you in your plight. Chief in charge of shoe shopping PaulineB will bring "Tommy" along as a floating re-hab centre fall back wine cellar just in case we all fall in, and ColinM has set-off from St Neots at top river speeds and expects to be at the estuary a week next Tuesday when the mighty engines of "Aqauholic" will be advanced further than their normal 5% and bring him round to make a nice cup of tea by the end of March at the latest.

Just hang on man, hang on. We're coming...

 

[ccscott49]

Drink it all as soon as possible, otherwise you may have visitors (from this lot) and they would drink it. Incidently, I don't have a drink problem either, trouble starts when I haven't got any!

 

[ChrisP]

Re: Team FireFly to the rescue

Can I join in too I've got my own bottle opener and I'm a dah hand with a ring pull.

 

[boatone]

Re: Team FireFly to the rescue

Can I take the pics? There could be money to be made here.......

TonyR
boatone@boatsontheweb.com

 

[BarryD]

Allcomers gratefully accepted...

We've got to get through a lot of LJS beer, otherwise he will be in trouble again on Christmas day...

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Team FireFly to the rescue

No!

 

[paulineb]

'cept me Chrispy - I'll be there to argue with you all over Christmas ...amen ;-)

Pauline B

 

[paulineb]

Re: Team FireFly to the rescue

OK, I'll get the engines warmed up ready but please don't give me any triple orgasms - one of those and I'm anyone's, two and I'm everyone's (whether they like it or not) ;-)

Pauline B

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Team FireFly to the rescue

Triple orgasms! you should be lucky with this lot drinking all that beer. Oh! your talking about the cocktail, Oh! silly me!

 

[longjohnsilver]

Re: Team FireFly to the rescue

Barry, very touched by your concern!!

Will make maximum effort over coming weeks to solve problem myself, would hate to put others to much inconvenience.

Unfortunately escape to boat is not a solution, can hardly move for further piles of stored booze!! Still I do seem to have willing helpers on hand, no doubt the pressure will ease by New Year.

Will bear in mind all offers of help but plan to soldier on for the moment!!

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Team FireFly to the rescue

Oh! Bother, tight devil!

 

[paulineb]

Re: Team FireFly to the rescue

Are you sure John? Remember a problem shared is a problem halved and I don't mind sharing half your booze ;-)

Pauline B

 

[ChrisP]

Don't mind you arguing as long as you know who's the boss (thats me).
Out of interest when was the last time you won an argument?

 

[paulineb]

Last night with Mr B. We're not coming to the boat Friday night - I think it was the chicken-pox that swung it!

Pauline B