How do you swallow the anchor?

[PlankWalker]

For more than 30 years I have owned the boat of my dreams, I have lusted after no other.
She is still in good condition and could set off round the world next week, as many of her class have done, yet we have never crossed the pond as I thought I would, and I can live with that. We have done our cruising between Esbjerg in the NE and Horta in the SW, with many places in between, some single handed.
But! Last year we didn't leave the Solent, and this year we have yet to leave Portsmouth Harbor. She is in need of the open sea with the breeze on her beam, but I am old and tired, I've been there and done it.
Yet I cannot sell her, not for coin like a hoar, she defines me ,she is what I am, what I do. But if she stays with me, she will deteriorate, and I cannot abide that.

So anybody out there who has swallowed the anchor, please tell me how you did it?
Plank

 

[cherod]

( like all addictions ) find an alternative

 

[Neeves]

Life is tough.

You have maturity, you have the memories, the future deterioration will haunt you - accept the reality, sell her (to someone you like), and let that someone give her the attention she deserves.

You will not halt the passage of time by keeping her.

and take note of Cherod's advice.

Jonathan

 

[Skylark]

Tough call. Some will say that passing her on will be cathartic. I'm of the view that it would be even worse to wake up one day with regret at selling it. You must be 120% sure before deciding.

 

[Stemar]

The two best days in boat ownership ...

ISTM that you have two choices:
1. Make a real effort to use her this year and see how that goes; there's no shame in only pottering around the Solent. If that doesn't work out, what are the chances next year?
2. Accept that that stage of your life is over and look for a new custodian, who will love your boat as much as you have and, just maybe, take her on those trips you and she have dreamed of. Not a cold blooded sale, more like finding a new home for a beloved pet that you can no longer care for properly.

 

[Gerry]

We can't! So we rarely leave the dock these days but we happily continue to live aboard. We keep the maintenance up to date and even indulge in a number of upgrades from time to time. And like your boat she remains ready to set sail at a moments notice for distant horizons. We were perhaps more fortunate in that we spent 20 years crossing those horizons and completing many passages that we had only dreamed of. We don't want to live on land. We awake to the call of seabirds, the gentle slapping of water on boats and the play of reflected light on the ceiling of our cabin. Priceless. Many people think we are mad, two old codgers clinging to an ocean going vessel and never moving but so what? We still relish the days of high winds and torrential rain, grateful that we are not now at anchor and watching for signs of dragging! So IMHO unless you are sure, really sure, that you will never want to spend time on her again, even safely in the marina, and if your finances can cover the costs of continuing to maintain her with a bit of help here and there , don't part with her.

 

[mjcoon]

Presumably you do not have sailing descendants to whom to pass the boat on, on the basis that you will get taken out for a sail now and again. (Although even that might be painful, I suppose.) So you are in need of a "Dutch nephew"...

 

[capnsensible]

Sell. Move on.

It's easier than think. Been there, done it.

 

[dancrane]

Are you sure you don't already know one or two thoroughly competent and energetic (and most of all, likeable) types who could take the demanding duties of first mate and deckhand, while you relax on cruises, near or far?

 

[Daydream believer]

Sell it. It is only a boat. An inaminate object. What use is it to you now? Who cares what the next bloke does to it? You have one thing that you do not have to sell- Your memories. Just be happy with those & move on.
Owning it & watch it run down will ruin those memories. Use the cash- if it is actually worth diddly squit- for something more useful- like filling your car with fuel for a couple of years. It will soon be gone.

 

[srm]

I am the second owner of my current boat. The original owner had fitted out the mouldings. When I bought her she had been ashore for two yeas, during which time he had done a refit of the interior. It looked as if he also brought back all the tools he had ever used on the boat (including over 30 screwdrivers), offcuts of materials, lengths of rope etc.
I commented that it must be difficult letting her go. He replied to the effect that it was time to move on.

Now I am nearing his age and have started to think of finding a new owner as the boat has been neglected for the last few years while I rebuilt an old house. When my wife realised this she did what she has been threatening to do since first seeing the boat - had the soft furnishings recovered as she wants to keep the boat. So I have spent time tidying and cleaning and removing all that 'might be useful' accumulation as we now have a shore base. Hopefully, we just may take her out for a sail this summer.

 

[benjenbav]

I wouldn’t dream of telling you what to do but can, briefly, say what I did.
I was then in my fifties and enjoying good physical, mental and, indeed, financial health.
But, for reasons I won’t go into, I had to devote my energies elsewhere. I kept my boat for a while but eventually came to realise that, whereas I had previously used any excuse to spend time on the water or on maintenance, what had been pure pleasure had become a chore. I barely managed to point my bows out of harbour and dealt only with necessary maintenance - and that reluctantly.

So I sold up, eight years ago.

For most of the time since then I was sure that I had swallowed the anchor and with scarcely any regrets.

But now that I’ve retired I’m finding myself looking at adverts again; so maybe, if you’ll forgive the expression, it hasn’t passed quite through my system yet.

 

[dancrane]

Lots of good points have been made here.

I'm reminded of the fact that after 40 years wanting a yacht, I discovered that owning one can be as much bother as pleasure, even in a marina close to home. I could have bought a bigger, better yacht to make more enjoyable use of my time aboard, but two years after selling, I've no regrets - I enjoy looking at boats for sale (as I did for those first 40 years), without any inclination to repeat the gross expenditure of time, effort and money.

But I do still have my sailing dinghy...maybe you could downsize to relaxing day-sailing in keelboats, rather than stopping altogether?

 

[thinwater]

Perhaps downsizing is an answer. I did that.

I gagree, that keeping a boat you are not using to her potencial (and been there, done that) and will only deteriorate is just depressing. We see too much of it. Pass it on to a younger guy who can enjoy the thrill it once gave you. Don't think of it as being about the money.

And if you get bored, you can always find a new boat to play with. But keep it smaller this time.

 

[Wansworth]

Boating might be a bit like smoking,you can give it up but in a momment it willl come flooding back

 

[Minerva]

For more than 30 years I have owned the boat of my dreams, I have lusted after no other.
She is still in good condition and could set off round the world next week, as many of her class have done,

If I were you, whilst she is in good condition I would think long and hard about selling up.

I am looking for my forever boat at the moment (well recent pregnant wife may pause that for a couple of years). Last autumn I went to go and see an example that was top of my list of candidates. Clearly been fastidiously loved and had a new engine in her with <100 hours. On paper ideal.

However the owner due to heath then Covid reasons couldn’t get out to her for I think 5 years. What was once a beautiful, well loved boat had developed leaking deck fittings. The external varnish work degraded and the wood has all started to rot. The deck leaks have manifested into a sodden interior requiring complete reupholster and likely the electric work will have similarly rotted.

This 40ft boat could have easily sold for >£60k a few years ago. Now she in likely to go for lesss than the cost of the engine install and being sold by family. I hate to think how the poor chap will feel if he were ever to see his pride and joy again.

 

[westernman]

Boating can mean many different things to different people.

1) Sailing offshore on a passage (I love that, but my partner does not)

2) Coastal hopping to different anchorages/marinas (my partner likes that particularly if there is a good restaurant nearby and the hops are not long, and the anchorage is not too rolly)

3) Just being on the boat where ever it is (we both like that to some extent)

4) Some people love sanding/painting and maintenance (e.g. Concerto - I could never ever motivate myself to do what he has done. Respect).

5) Sailing a boat well to its limits for a day or two, or just an afternoon

If you have not poked your nose out of the harbour recently, then may be you would be happy with (3) or (5).
If (3), then may be get a boat which is more comfortable for exactly that. Some friends of ours have a large mobo with large broken engines they use just for that. It has not been moved out of the marina for years.
If (5) then may be downsize to a small day boat or even a dinghy which requires little maintenance and is easy to manage.

People in category (4) I just don't get.
What box do you best fit in now (not what you did in the past)?

 

[Fr J Hackett]

I sold up after realising that my decrepit vertebrae could no longer take the strain particularly the passage making that I enjoyed and had become less frequent. I had no regrets other than the sale process which became mired in unpleasantness. Now after two major operations I could probably return to sailing but living a long way from where I would keep a boat ( the Mediterranean does not appeal in the slightest) I realise it would become a chore plus my wife is wedded to her garden and would not want to leave it for any length of time so I look at boats and think yes that would do and then I think no, no thanks.

 

[Wansworth]

Boating can mean many different things to different people.

1) Sailing offshore on a passage (I love that, but my partner does not)

2) Coastal hopping to different anchorages/marinas (my partner likes that particularly if there is a good restaurant nearby and the hops are not long, and the anchorage is not too rolly)

3) Just being on the boat where ever it is (we both like that to some extent)

4) Some people love sanding/painting and maintenance (e.g. Concerto - I could never ever motivate myself to do what he has done. Respect).

5) Sailing a boat well to its limits for a day or two, or just an afternoon

If you have not poked your nose out of the harbour recently, then may be you would be happy with (3) or (5).
If (3), then may be get a boat which is more comfortable for exactly that. Some friends of ours have a large mobo with large broken engines they use just for that. It has not been moved out of the marina for years.
If (5) then may be downsize to a small day boat or even a dinghy which requires little maintenance and is easy to manage.

People in category (4) I just don't get.
What box do you best fit in now (not what you did in the past)?

I kept my last boatin a small yard where there was a hard core of boat tinkerers I found it very pleasant justifying my time there doing a bit of sanding in between chatting cups of coffee and tea.It would have been the ideal place for my late father,too old for sailing but needing a reason and place to socialize one he had sold his boat and needed something to do as my mother had her own hobby

 

[dancrane]

I think it's amazing, how much pleasure there is in having the financial freedom to look quite seriously at boats for sale, even quite costly ones, before settling back contentedly and languorously in an armchair at home, knowing that what is not photographed in the broker's advert, is all the hassle, crap weather and delays, and the untold haemorrhaging of money that may (does) accompany ownership and maintenance.

Unlike the day you buy a yacht, that second great day of boat owning - the day you sell - continues to feel great for years to come.