Help please, son unhappy at uni Almost NB.

longjohnsilver

longjohnsilver

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My eldest is his 1st year at Plymouth Uni reading marine biology and oceanography. He's in no way an academic and not enjoying the course, he really wants to be an accountant or a stockbroker. He's a good lad at heart but really doesn't enjoy the university life and wants a serious talk with me ntomorrow nite about wot he should do.

He loves boats and the water, wot do you suggest I advise him to do?

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John,

We have lots of boys at School who really dont know what they want to do at that age and sometimes leave 6th form with no clear direction.
Has he already had a gap year?, if not taking a year off may very well give him some time to think and decide what he wants to do.

Another option would be to switch courses in the university now, to accountancy. I would think that would be do-able.

If he really wants to quit university and wants to do accountancy then going up the AAT/CIMA (or equiv) route is an option. He would probably have to join an accountancy practice who would pay for his college tuition, but it is fairly low paid for a few years at least.
Wouldnt really recommend the stockbroking thing at the moment, as it's quite tough to get in, and they dont really earn the big bucks that they used to.

Some youngsters dont adapt to university life as readily as others, for a variety of reasons. Lets face it, it aint for evrybody.

Most of all dont worry, and dont let him know you're worried. It will sort itself out, and it is quite common.

Steve.

PS If all else fails, plumbing seems a good option. Ive heard of some in Birmingham earning £1500-£2000 per week.




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Trust him.Let him do his own thing.
We always think we know better.But do we ?


<hr width=100% size=1>Sorry darling i'm watching football,Pay someone to do it
 
Personaaly if he loves boating and the sea then it may be best to stick with it. IMHO I would prefer to be in a job that didnt involve accounting or stock broking but thats my own choice but thats because I have sat at both ends of the table.

He will never find out until he tries, what about work experience?

<hr width=100% size=1>Dom

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.soltron.co.uk>the website</A>
 
I have a daughter doing AS levels now and not too keen on going to Uni at this stage. She would actually like to go into a boating job but not sure as to how to get her started. I suggested she finishes her A levels and the takes gap year and joins up with Crewsavers/Sunsail/others. Should do her Comp Crew(sail) this year and perhaps Dayskipper next. Any suggestions gladly received.

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Personally I think a gap year or two is very important to get priorities sorted out and learn about the real world. I'd see if you could persuade him to finish the year (not long to go), get the exams passes and the credits, and see if there is a gap option.

<hr width=100% size=1>.. whit way roon should it be again ..
 
John, my stepson dropped out of course after course, even failing to turn up for exams, and in the end we just gave up encouraging him to go back to college. He now has virtually no qualifications and has had a succession of menial jobs. He's actually quite a bright lad but because he's got no serious qualifications, he's finding it impossible to get on even the first step of the managerial ladder within in any company. In fact he's so pissed off with life that I might have to employ him myself. IMHO, with so many kids going to university these days, unless you have a qualification many companies wont even interview you
So, whatever you do, I think you must encourage your son to get some form of qualification rather than just drop out because he'll probably regret that enormously in later life. I'm a little surprised that he's showing an interest in accountancy because it's not exactly a cool thing to be interested in but, with an accountancy qualification, it would allow him a very wide choice of jobs in both accountancy and general management

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Hm well i have been looking at "carrot and stick" on C4 when the stick team beat the others. So tellim to shape up AND as punishment for complaining he can walk back to uni on his own :-)

Seriously, most important thing is to be happy in your work - otherwise you are pissed off every day.

I bet he could make a great job of being a pro skipper - calm and so on as well as being almost 2metres tall. They earn oodles of loot and quite good fun. (in fact i think jfm's boat needs a skipper and asap pls, he is sure to bust the engines with another run at full whack"oh no, we only pootled along, apart from the 16 runs to see wottle it do" )

I think stockbroking is a bite shite these days - loads of inyerface types who used to be bond traders on 70grand+ age 20 now can't get a job.

accounting etc counting money for people is a good thing long term. Not quite as interesting as being on a bot. Mind you, he could be an accountant on a boat mebbe?


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your best bet i think is to let him do what he wants. I have had a lot to do with accountants over many years, actually they do get a kick out of counting money & have to be extremely clever in all sorts of ways. There are many specialist area's. It seems that the way to get on is to work for one of the large accounting companies, then later set up your own practice. Others are right about stockbroking, its not a good area at all currently.

<hr width=100% size=1>deborah on delft (correct spelling)
 
John
If you have an associate College of the university nearby then it should make it easier to carry credits with him for what he's done this year. Jimi's point is a good one in that it would be shame to waste what he'd done so far and he should try to salvage any modules he's completed and get them accredited.
So - University life - is it that he'd be happier at home?
Accountancy/Stockbroking - articled to a company in his home town? - most colleges do accountancy courses within schools of Business.
If he's a decent sailor then go and get a powerboat award, first aid cert and a dinghy intructors award then go and try centre work - its a good experience which will earn a few bob and help him meet new people as well as taking pressure off in terms of being on a course he doesn't want to do.
I have a nephew who is in the same situation but his parents don't want him to leave University which has produced an awful situation with one very unhappy lad.
Our values were probably a bit different and I think that as parents it is difficult for us to see things through offsprings eyes.
Unortunately my daughter takes after Dear Heart so doesn't listen to a word I say and has always done exactly as she has wanted. Little Sod.


<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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Hi John
If he can afford to take a gap year and you both think it's for the best then take that route . Is it the course he is doing or Uni life in general that he doesn't like or is it possible he is homesick????
My eldest wanted desperately to join the R.N as an Officer however she failed on medical grounds (as she was to small!!!) so much for height discrimination!!!
She is now studying Endlish at a London uni and hasn't really enjoyed her first year much (mainly due to accomadation problems) but is already looking forward to next year as she already has a shared house with friends to move into.Even at this stage she is unsure whether to continue with English or move onto Law.
Perhaps a rethink of the Uni course may help

Julian


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"He loves boats and the water, wot do you suggest I advise him to do? "

Tell him to get his arse round to Mucky Farter and give her a wash and polish. He will soon be sick of the sea.../forums/images/icons/smile.gif


<hr width=100% size=1> <font color=blue>Specializing in marine sanitation since 1997.<font color=red> I'm a volunteer!!.<font color=blue>

Haydn
 
my earlier post wasd a bit too flippant

1) there are loads of nice girls, but not many nice jobs. If he;s mising the girlfiriend, remeber she might get a fab job/career opportunity in New York and will go. So would he, probably.

2) if loads of people go to university, think very very hard about not going to university - makes no difference early on but career-changing later on can be harder, teaching etc.

3) most if not all activities are not great all the time. Uni especially actually has some work. But life in general should be good with a few shit bits, and not shit with a few good bits.

4) You can go to uni later. I had three gap years.


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I went to Plymouth too and did the Marine Studies course. (way the hell back in 1987 when it was a Poly of course.) I did International Shipping & Navigation Management which was a business major and "management aspects of Navigation" minor. So I got to do the general biz stuff and some more nteresting specific stuff on shipping and transport industry in the major. The minor was the fun part though as it was all around driving ship simulators, VTS, marine communications etc. Mebbe the thing for him to explore is to switch from scientificy bit of the marine studies degree to the businessy side of it. Lots of opportunities in shipping co's, global logisitics providers (wot we used to call freight forwarders) and ship broking which have got to be a better profession than being an accountant! (with apols to any accountants who read this. I am sure you are jolly interesting folks really......) I ended up working in the automotive industry initially in shipping but soon moving into general procurement and supply chain. As I am sure you know your actual degree subject is not so important IMHO its having one and having the right will, skills and character to get on.

I guess he'd have to go back a year but he wouldn't lose the contacts and friends he has at Uni - or is being at Uni more of the problem?

Of course after errm 14 ish years of working the thought of playing with boats all day for a living is very attractive (espec. in Basildon on a grey March day when its snowing!) but not much money to be made I think. 'Less he becomes a yotbroker of course but you do say he's a good lad at heart!!

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University was not too many years ago for me.....argh well it was 11, gosh I am getting old. I was realy looking forward to going to Uni, did well at school and found learning very rewarding. I was supposidly the bright kid of the family and both my brother and sister went to uni ahead of me and loved it.

I went and within 6 months new it was NOT for me, it was not just one thing I did not like, university life and learning just did not suit me. Knowing my parent would go nuts I stuck out first year an passed all my modules with good marks meaning I could go home to my parents with the proof that it was not that I was being lazy. I think some of it may be to do with the fact that I am dyslexic (as you will see from the state of my previous posts!!) what I am trying to say is that uni is not for everyone, even some bright kids.

As for not going to uni being a problem in your career, hmm, depends on what you are doing, accountants can go the AAC route etc, from my experience of working as a manager for the NHS I have not found it to be a problem, you need to get a little exparience behind you but once you are in the door it is what you do that counts not what bits of paper you have. On the other side, I have a fair bit to do with the medical records department at my trust which is traditionaly the area with the most junior positions, you would be amased at how many of them have degrees in all sorts of subjects. Having interviewed them most of them hated uni, struggled through to pass and now have no clue what they want to do and get stuck in a rutt.

I would let him do what feels right for him but do not lit him sit back and fester, keep him moving!

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I fully agree , just be there for him and make sure you listen ! That involves noding and remmbering stuff that he has talked about !


Maybe he his just growing up and also missing his home life ?

Tom

ps do not try to force any of your own views !

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Steve, you're not far off with the plumbing analogy, we have around 300 Bathroom and Kitchen Fitters registered with our company and in Birmingham a good Bathroom Fitter circa 285 per day and kitchen Fitter about 350. Thats taking that they accept work every week of course. Good Kitchen Fitter will knock out 2 a week earning approx 850/job. This includes materials of course, pipe fittings etc but not "Product" so to speak. London and environs, won't get out of bed for less than 400 - 450 a day. Thats why all the plumbers in London at the moment are either Brummies or Scousers.

A "Plumber", that is CORGI reg for pressured systems, Water bye law compliant etc. will have done a 5 year training programme at least including college and has to renew certificates/retrain every 2 years. One has to compare to so called "Professionals". Just that they are talented with the hands and not that academic. Why should this make any difference, still talented. Doesn't stop 75% being a total pain sometimes though, a bit like professionals really.

Great career move at the moment of course and the reason I got into Bathrooms 30+ years ago still holds true. "When all else fails, money market crashes, Retail business is sticky, property is affected by % rates, you still need someone to plumb in the Bog!!" 18 or 60 you've always got the Trade.

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Re: Careful steve

I understand that dearest Planty charges 50 quid to read all or part of a reply! Last time i replied to one of his posts he corrected two of my spelling mistakes which cost 400quid, which i think is a bit steeep really.

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not sure how you classify no way an academic. If you are talking about a qualified accountant, or these days with all the FSA regulations, a stockbroker (rather than a clerk in either of the mentioned offices) there are a host of very bright people trying to get into just those jobs. And no one is taking prisoners.. if you arent up to it, you re out. Its hard getting in, and its damn hard for at least several years. I m not suggesting this applies to your son, but alot of young people just dont realise that starting work,with your A-levels, or degrees, you are actually of virtually no value as yet to the company. This comes as a major shock. I d suggest trying to get to the bottom of what is wrong with Uni. the course, that Uni, the realisation you do 90pct of the course off your own back? Before abandoning it, I think you need to be very sure indeed that the issue is actually anything to do with any of it...maybe its just the next part of growing up in a tough world these days.

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