Have I missed out anyone ?

paulineb

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16 May 2001
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I no longer live in Hope
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On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, and another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfilment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; but how her relationship with her mother is
improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't getting laid either.

Pxx
 

byron

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16 May 2001
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I resent the implication that us Greeks are latent Poofters. I would set my dog on you but he would only look at you coquettishly and say "bowsy wowsy" but I might hit you with my make-up bag.

ô¿ô
 

coliholic

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11 Dec 2001
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Cambridge
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Ok well here\'s one for all Aussies, Kiwi\'s and I suppose Canadians

An Aussie and a Kiwi are drinking in a bar and talking quietly about sheep and cattle prices.

Suddenly a Canadian woman at a table behind them who had been eating a sandwich begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. The Aussie and Kiwi turn to look at her.

"Kin yah swallow? Asked the Kiwi. The woman shakes her head "No" "Kin yah breathe?" asked the Aussie. The canadian woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shakes her head "NO" again.

The Aussie walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt, yanks down her panties, and slowly runs his tongue from the back of her thigh up to the small of her back. This shocks the woman to a violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breathe again.

The Aussie walks back over to the bar and takes a drink of his beer. The Kiwi turns to him and says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Maneuver, but I ain't never seen nobody do it before.
 
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