britemp
Well-Known Member
Picked this up from a raggy newsgroup, rewrote raggy bits and anglicised it. All points are supposed to start with a 1!!!!!!
1. Learn to live with the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday and Sunday = boating. It's like the full moon. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail, we still go boating!
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Agent Provocateur girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the
adverts.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. Mond you,
he never got there either.
1. Men only see in 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, and we
will still go boating.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as boating, sex, boats, beer etc.
1. You DO have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
Apologies if it has been posted before.
<hr width=100% size=1>
1. Learn to live with the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday and Sunday = boating. It's like the full moon. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail, we still go boating!
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Agent Provocateur girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the
adverts.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. Mond you,
he never got there either.
1. Men only see in 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, and we
will still go boating.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as boating, sex, boats, beer etc.
1. You DO have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
Apologies if it has been posted before.
<hr width=100% size=1>
