Guest Etiquette when Cruising

[Alaphillipe]

Hello,

We have been invited to spend a week with a couple on their 60 something sailing yacht in the med this summer. I understand that we will have our own bathroom and cabin and that the yacht has all mod cons but as we don’t have a yacht, and never will, what is the etiquette by way doing things and paying for things like fuel and parking etc? Would an opening gift of Gin or Rum be more appropriate than wine perhaps? I really want the week to go well so any suggestions or information would be appreciated.

 

[Daydream believer]

Do not snore, do not flush loads of paper down the heads & do not use too much water.
Oh!!!! & Do not put you b..y Ipads & handbags on the chart table.

When going ashore do not wait until the skipper has locked everything up & stepped ashore & then say " Oh dear I have forgotten my jumper, coat, wallet handbag etc etc!!!" because it gets damned annoying after the tenth time.

 

[Ningaloo]

I frequently have guest crew aboard. If they are personal friends I don't usually expect any contribution for short stays although an alcoholic gift is always welcome. I would stick to whatever you (or your hosts) normally drink.
If it is a longer trip I might suggest we share food expenses and split restaurant bills (or take turns to pay).
If I offer crewing opportunities to people I don't know so well, I so on a shared cost basis which would include sharing marina fees and fuel (but not boat maintenance). We usually have a notebook that everyone writes down what they spend and make a balancing payment to equal things out at the end of the trip.
My own boat is 11m so costs are modest. Could be very different on a 60' in the med!

 

[john_morris_uk]

Do not snore, do not flush loads of paper down the heads & do not use too much water.
Oh!!!! & Do not put you b..y Ipads & handbags on the chart table.

When going ashore do not wait until the skipper has locked everything up & stepped ashore & then say " Oh dear I have forgotten my jumper, coat, wallet handbag etc etc!!!" because it gets damned annoying after the tenth time.

60’ plus boat? Is the owner the skipper or do they employ crew? Are you there as ‘just guests’ or ‘guest who are expected to help as crew’?

There’s a slightly different etiquette/expectation for either situation imho.

 

[Trident]

The most common issue with guests is not understanding how boats work with things like electricity and plumbing - show consideration by ensuring you learn how to use the toilet properly, ask how much water should you use and make sure you are careful (even though on a 60 foot they probably have big tanks and a water maker to turn seawater into fresh, water is still a finite resource) , make sure you turn off electrical when not in use, check where to wear shoes and where to be barefoot (some people hate shoes on their expensive teak decks) - just showing some understanding that a boat is a unique environment will go a long way. As for finances, normally guests will accompany the owners shopping and at least pay for their own food, perhaps offer to cook a good meal and certainly treat them to a meal ashore if you go out. Berthing fees and fuel are probably not something to get involved in - a) in a med summer for a 60 foot it could be hundreds of euros a night in some places and the owners would be paying it anyway, b) you are a guest and you wouldn't pay for say rent on someone's flat if they invited you for a week - however, if there is somewhere you really want to go that involves a marina stop that normally the owners wouldn't have then you should certainly offer to pay then. Enjoy your trip

 

[johnalison]

We have had a number of guests for a week or so. Our usual routine has been to share daily shopping costs only, generally quite a modest amount, and certainly not harbour dues. In every case the guests have treated us to a meal out at the end.

But I don't own a 60ft boat. Someone that well off might be offended by an offer to pay daily costs, so I think that a bottle gift would be welcomed by anybody, and you would then have time to judge the mood before offering to take them out for a meal. My brother has one particularly wealthy friend and I am sure that the hospitality is purely on the basis of my brother and his wife only having to contribute their company.

 

[ashtead]

It would seem the choice of gift is a personal one but a case of Ott or such like might be appreciated. IMHO each owner has their own pet hates from croissant crumbs on teak decks ( a case of the K2 cleaner is most important for many med boat owners) to keeping the showers clean (water marked shower chrome in heads is hated by crew). If they have a water maker on board then using showers not an issue but just don't block the loo or damage the vacuflush etc. If air conn on board keep the doors closed. Don't play music too loud on board or race around the bay in the Williams jet ski or take it up the beach and get sand in it of course or bump into the mother ship . Don't spread sun creams around the cushions or teak decks or leave shoes about ( place shoes in wicker basket provided by boat crew when not onshore) . Enjoy the trip.

 

[MikeCC]

How well do you know them?
Could just ask them in terms of 'we haven't stayed on a yacht before - what are your usual arrangements with guests?'
As others, a decent gin or rum should go down well as a starter.
Will the yacht be berthed for the duration or cruising?

 

[Yngmar]

Couple cruising on a 60-something footer? They don't need your money. Bring a bottle of something nice that you can enjoy together, like a Talisker Skye to help break the ice. Wine is a bit cheap for the size.

Fit all your stuff into a single soft bag per person. Do not, under any circumstances bring a hardshell case or anything with wheels on it. On smaller boats you will not be let aboard with them, on larger boats they'll just immediately dislike you for an inconsiderate landlubber.

Be flexible with arrival and departure times/dates or locations.

Listen to the skipper and crew, even if it doesn't immediately make sense to you.

 

[Resolution]

Comment from a good friend as we boarded his large yacht for a Caribbean trip: "Just remember that the crew are my employees, not your servants. They will happily help to do what you ask, but please do not give them orders."

 

[Alaphillipe]

Couple cruising on a 60-something footer? They don't need your money. Bring a bottle of something nice that you can enjoy together, like a Talisker Skye to help break the ice. Wine is a bit cheap for the size.

Fit all your stuff into a single soft bag per person. Do not, under any circumstances bring a hardshell case or anything with wheels on it. On smaller boats you will not be let aboard with them, on larger boats they'll just immediately dislike you for an inconsiderate landlubber.

Be flexible with arrival and departure times/dates or locations.

Listen to the skipper and crew, even if it doesn't immediately make sense to you.

 

[Alaphillipe]

Many thanks to you all, very helpful points made which are noted, digested and stored in the memory bank:encouragement:. The suitcases have been mentioned so we have soft cases on order, not sure about the itinerary but it is just them and us so quite an adventure! Feel much more confident now so once again, thank you.

 

[Neeves]

I would not welcome soft suitcases either - kit bags, or whatever the modern name is. They will share your cabin, I assume - cabins are small.

I'd second the decent malt whisky - or 2, one bottle will not last long. Even if the they have a desalinator - its takes fuel to run and is noisy. Learn how to take a Navy shower (desal or not). I like, I think its Post 11, about crew and employees - treat them as you would want to be treated.

Enjoy

Jonathan

 

[maby]

I don't think it ever hurts to offer to contribute towards fuel and marina costs, even if you don't expect that the offer will be accepted. Do bear in mind that the running costs of a 60 foot yacht using decent marinas is going to be quite high, so if the offer is accepted, be ready to make a significant contribution!

P.S. Neeves is quite right about the luggage - choose bags that will fold up small - you will not be popular taking aboard suitcases that are going to occupy valuable living space for the duration!

 

[Fr J Hackett]

Time for the age old joke, what are the three most useless things on a boat?

A suitcase

An umbrella

A navy officer

 

[Gwylan]

Soft bags, not rolling portmanteaux
Soft soled, non marking shoes
A bottle of decent gin and a good calvados, Armagnac
Do not bother with hair drier, curling tongs,
Listen carefully to instructions on the heads (toilet)
Understand the water situation
Consolidate your stuff in your cabin. Do not infest the boat with your sunglasses, iPad, camera, phone, hats, scarves etc
Be very careful with sun cream
Switch your phone off, it saves batteries and you are there to enjoy the company of your fellow passengers. Not share photos of your breakfast!
Pick up the tab discretely at the nicest restaurant you visit.
If you don't understand an instruction or request ask for clarification.

 

[Kukri]

If there are paid crew on board, slip your stewardess something worthwhile before you leave.

 

[Metabarca]

Don't go straight from sea to cabin: seawater leaves salt and gives rise to a damp interior.

 

[capnsensible]

Ive never found soft wheelie luggage bags a problem to stow on any yacht. They do make an enormous difference however in the ease of travel to and from a boat. :encouragement:

 

[Baggywrinkle]

My pet hates as a boat owner ....

Sun cream smeared over everything.
Junk left on my chart table.
Stuff left lying around the communal areas of the boat.
Salt water below decks (swimwear/towels) - there will certainly be a fresh water shower on the stern to rinse off.
Shoes that leave marks.
People who put stuff they haven't eaten down the toilet - only exceptions allowed are small amounts of toilet paper.
People who use 50 litres of hot water for their morning shower.
Leaving lights on.
Leaving cupboards un-latched.
People who vomit upwind when they are sea-sick.

May not be the case on a 60 footer but generally electrical power and fresh water are precious commodities and should be treated as such.

Simply behave as you would if invited to share a friends holiday home for a week, arrive with appropriate gifts, show gratitude by picking up the tab for a meal out and treat everything and everyone on board with respect.

If you don't understand how something works, ask before you fiddle with it.

If you don't know if they want you to chip in for marina fees/fuel then it does no harm to discreetly make the offer and then everyone knows where they stand.

PS: If anyone brings a huge hard roller suit-case with them they either have to leave it ashore (in my car) or sleep with it in their cabin ... unless I have a cabin free, in which case, it goes in the spare cabin.