Paddy Layback
N/A
OPrawn crackers, chicken and sweet corn soup to start.
Chicken, in Green Pepper and Black Bean Sauce.
Boiled rice.
Sure I don't know where to start really.
The 'prawn' crackers tasted and smelt of rancid automatic transmission fluid. I was hungry but I threw them in the sea, the seagulls had a bite.. and then left them floating!
The 'sweet corn soup' (which I usually love) was just old leftovers, bits of random rice and the plate scrapings from previous victims, sorry 'clients', there was one, yes one, little yellow fragment of sweet corn. ( I think the chef found it under his fore-skin... when the kitchen door swung open, I saw him having a good old scratch of his nether regions..looking for inspiration? )
Now for the main dish.. . Raw chunks of carrot and green pepper, with a few manky scraps of gristly chicken fragments (I never knew chicken had so much gristle) all floating in UNSEASONED boiling water.
The rice was blatantly some else's plate scrapings, it had a variety of flavour echos.
What a letdown, I love a chinky, they are usually quite reliable.
Verdict? I'm sitting on my boat still hungry. Arrest the ringleaders and nuke from orbit.
The bill was £9.90. Talking of the Bill, I have had far more enjoyable meals shoved through my cell door in the nick.
Leading on from that observation, I don't think Bobby Sands himself would have suffered any pangs of temptation in the Great Wall. Not after the first mouthful, 'oh holy Jesus take me back to H block and my nice dirty protest it smells better'.
Chicken, in Green Pepper and Black Bean Sauce.
Boiled rice.
Sure I don't know where to start really.
The 'prawn' crackers tasted and smelt of rancid automatic transmission fluid. I was hungry but I threw them in the sea, the seagulls had a bite.. and then left them floating!
The 'sweet corn soup' (which I usually love) was just old leftovers, bits of random rice and the plate scrapings from previous victims, sorry 'clients', there was one, yes one, little yellow fragment of sweet corn. ( I think the chef found it under his fore-skin... when the kitchen door swung open, I saw him having a good old scratch of his nether regions..looking for inspiration? )
Now for the main dish.. . Raw chunks of carrot and green pepper, with a few manky scraps of gristly chicken fragments (I never knew chicken had so much gristle) all floating in UNSEASONED boiling water.
The rice was blatantly some else's plate scrapings, it had a variety of flavour echos.
What a letdown, I love a chinky, they are usually quite reliable.
Verdict? I'm sitting on my boat still hungry. Arrest the ringleaders and nuke from orbit.
The bill was £9.90. Talking of the Bill, I have had far more enjoyable meals shoved through my cell door in the nick.
Leading on from that observation, I don't think Bobby Sands himself would have suffered any pangs of temptation in the Great Wall. Not after the first mouthful, 'oh holy Jesus take me back to H block and my nice dirty protest it smells better'.
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