'Great Wall' chinky, Gosport, vile muck.

[Paddy Layback]

OPrawn crackers, chicken and sweet corn soup to start.
Chicken, in Green Pepper and Black Bean Sauce.
Boiled rice.

Sure I don't know where to start really.

The 'prawn' crackers tasted and smelt of rancid automatic transmission fluid. I was hungry but I threw them in the sea, the seagulls had a bite.. and then left them floating!

The 'sweet corn soup' (which I usually love) was just old leftovers, bits of random rice and the plate scrapings from previous victims, sorry 'clients', there was one, yes one, little yellow fragment of sweet corn. ( I think the chef found it under his fore-skin... when the kitchen door swung open, I saw him having a good old scratch of his nether regions..looking for inspiration? )

Now for the main dish.. . Raw chunks of carrot and green pepper, with a few manky scraps of gristly chicken fragments (I never knew chicken had so much gristle) all floating in UNSEASONED boiling water.

The rice was blatantly some else's plate scrapings, it had a variety of flavour echos.

What a letdown, I love a chinky, they are usually quite reliable.

Verdict? I'm sitting on my boat still hungry. Arrest the ringleaders and nuke from orbit.

The bill was £9.90. Talking of the Bill, I have had far more enjoyable meals shoved through my cell door in the nick.

Leading on from that observation, I don't think Bobby Sands himself would have suffered any pangs of temptation in the Great Wall. Not after the first mouthful, 'oh holy Jesus take me back to H block and my nice dirty protest it smells better'.

 

[ashtead]

Worth posting insight on trip adviser . sadly Gosport does not seem to run to a Good Earth standard of Chinese fare but if you find a better one do let us know.

 

[BabySharkDooDooDooDooDoo]

We use 'Go Kitchen' for take away chinese food which is just round the corner from the Great Wall

 

[Paddy Layback]

We use 'Go Kitchen' for take away chinese food which is just round the corner from the Great Wall

Thanks for the tip

 

[Hadenough]

I take it it is a takeaway, what else do you expect? I've not eaten takeaways for 30 years after spending some months working with a local authority environmental health department. Horrific!

 

[richardbrennan]

Too far for a takeaway perhaps, but if you nip across to Pompey on the Gosport Ferry, Tin Tin, which you will see in front of you, is good and reasonably priced. Don't be put off by the external appearance.

Last time I ate at the Great Wall, many years ago, both my son and I had weird dreams all night; too much MSG I suspect!

 

[Sandyman]

OPrawn crackers, chicken and sweet corn soup to start.
Chicken, in Green Pepper and Black Bean Sauce.
Boiled rice.

Sure I don't know where to start really.

The 'prawn' crackers tasted and smelt of rancid automatic transmission fluid. I was hungry but I threw them in the sea, the seagulls had a bite.. and then left them floating!

The 'sweet corn soup' (which I usually love) was just old leftovers, bits of random rice and the plate scrapings from previous victims, sorry 'clients', there was one, yes one, little yellow fragment of sweet corn. ( I think the chef found it under his fore-skin... when the kitchen door swung open, I saw him having a good old scratch of his nether regions..looking for inspiration? )

Now for the main dish.. . Raw chunks of carrot and green pepper, with a few manky scraps of gristly chicken fragments (I never knew chicken had so much gristle) all floating in UNSEASONED boiling water.

The rice was blatantly some else's plate scrapings, it had a variety of flavour echos.

What a letdown, I love a chinky, they are usually quite reliable.

Verdict? I'm sitting on my boat still hungry. Arrest the ringleaders and nuke from orbit.

The bill was £9.90. Talking of the Bill, I have had far more enjoyable meals shoved through my cell door in the nick.

Leading on from that observation, I don't think Bobby Sands himself would have suffered any pangs of temptation in the Great Wall. Not after the first mouthful, 'oh holy Jesus take me back to H block and my nice dirty protest it smells better'.

Nice write up My apologies. As a long time Gosport resident, before we headed South that is , I should have posted a warning earlier. Was a top notch chokkie until about 2 years ago when it change to an ''All You can Eat'' chokkie when it took a nose dive. Wife eat there with friends about 18 months back and they walked out after the starters & refused to pay it was so bad. Chokkie Joe threw a wobblie & threatened to call the Cops. Wife said go ahead whilst I call Envirometal Health...................You fluck off no come back. Round the corner 200yds is TJ's chokkie. Just as bad. They specialise in artificial food colourig.
Best take away by far is to be found up the Hardway not far from HSC. opposite the Windsor Castle Pub, called Lams 34 St Thomas's Rd, Gosport PO12 4JX
Phone:023 9252 5343 They deliver. Bon Appetite

Edit to say: Its been there since the early 70's when I lived just round the corner & is still a family run business

 

[Paddy Layback]

"You fluck off no come back"
Thanks for the tip about Lams!

 

[harry potter]

What do you do about paying for a take away? Lams says credit/ debit card must be registered to delivery address, in which case pontoon B 15 is slightly suspect. LAMS is a bit of a walk from Royal Clarence, it would be so good to have a delivery.

I NEED TO KNOW

 

[derekgillard]

Well I thought it cant be that bad so went last night, boy was I wrong.

Worse Chinese meal ever will not return. Disgusting

 

[richardbrennan]

I really don't know how the place survives, I hear nothing but bad experiences. My son and I vowed never to go back about 12 years ago!

 

[BabySharkDooDooDooDooDoo]

A quick look on trip advisor paints a rather 'varied' picture, certainly not all negative reviews

 

[richardbrennan]

I am going to sound like a great snob, but I think you get two sorts of people posting on Trip Advisor. Some value quantity and price, whilst others value quality. I think if you look at the favourable reviews on Trip Advisor, most seem to fall into the former category, those that mention quality are nearly all unfavourable.

As I have said before, although it means a trip across the harbour, Tin Tin's, right opposite the ferry terminal on the Portsmouth side, does very reasonable quality food and is not expensive. It looks a bit of a dump from the outside, but don't let that put you off.

 

[BabySharkDooDooDooDooDoo]

On the basis of quantity then I'd imagine the Castle must come out on top.

 

[xcw]

On the basis of quantity then I'd imagine the Castle must come out on top.

No been there for years, is it still as bad? Always reminded me of school dinners!

 

[BabySharkDooDooDooDooDoo]

The portions are as large as ever, one of the reason we don't eat there very often is that my companion could never even get close to clearing her plate.

Also, the Clipper lot can make it uncomfortably busy at times.

 

[sailor211]

No been there for years, is it still as bad? Always reminded me of school dinners!

That's a recommendation, School Dinners was an excellent place on Baker Street London, lots of st Trinains type school girl waitress. Lots of fun.

 

[xcw]

That's a recommendation, School Dinners was an excellent place on Baker Street London, lots of st Trinains type school girl waitress. Lots of fun.

Is that the place that burnt down a few years back?? If so, I quite agree

 

[harry potter]

What with 'The Great Wall''s 'vile muck' and the infectious propensity of 'Emma's', Gosport looks a really fun place for the crew of HMS Queen Elizabeth to explore whilst stationed in Pompey.

 

[richardbrennan]

The New Bengal is, in my view, the best place to eat in Gosport. But don't tell the QE crew, it's difficult enough to get a table at the weekends as it is!