Getting rid of difficult skippers

[wully1]

To turn a thread around..

A few years back a husband and wife crew in a very nice yachtie boatie arrived at the western end of the Crinan Canal. The Husband was very much Master and Commander of his pride and joy as he approached the lock down to the sea basin, bawling commands at his lady wife who scrambled around trying to obey the fraught, yelled, contradictory orders , obviously not enjoying the experience of navigating the 9 miles of canal locks under Captain Bligh.
The lock keeper took them down and opened the gates to the sea basin and told Capt Bligh to remain in the lock until instructed to proceed to the sea lock.
As soon as the lock keeper left Capt Bligh barked commands at his poor wife to cast off- she meekly told him that they had been instructed to wait. He insisted they leave the lock NOW,loudly.
So they motored into the basin with no way out as there were boats locking in from the sea.
The brisk breeze was blowing straight into the basin and as Capt Bligh zig-zagged, loosing ground to every thrust of the throttle, back and forth broad side on to the the rusty, mean scallop dredges of moored fishing boats laying in wait for his topside, his commands to his poor crew became shrieks of orders.
Quite what he expected the poor lady to do is unclear. He was trapped as he no longer had room to turn into the wind between the moored boats. He began to scream at her.

She stopped, looked at him for a few moments. made an evaluation of the cost/ benefit of this whole partnership thing then dropped the fender she was holding and marched below slamming the hatch shut behind her.

The crunch of the GRP loosing out big time to the scallop dredges was not enjoyable. Not anywhere near as enjoyable as the expression on Capt Bligh face as he realised that not only had he inflicted irreparable damage to his relationship and topsides but that he'd provided excellent vicarious entertainment to the assembled yotties and coffee house observers on a lovely sunny day. He'd probably also lost his crew and his summer cruise.

I wonder if he's a beardy old Breton cap wearing grumpy single hander in an MAB 'cos that's all he can afford after the divorce settlement?

 

[Birdseye]

I've seen variants on that story many many times. Indeed it usually the reason that most of the members at my club sail without wives on board.

 

[doris]

Sitting in a tavern in a Greek harbour, beer in hand, the enjoyment of watching the charterers coming in with a bit of a crosswind..........just like the opening thread.
Complete cabaret that never seems to end!!

Perfect start to a thread.

 

[Kukri]

Why do men do this? I would not dare!

As I said on the other thread.. my darling wife, half my age and a Taekwondo third dan, tells me that when I "get to that stage" I can expect an expertly-aimed size 5 sailing boot in the small of my back and a sharp knife through my harness tether!

 

[Quandary]

Women have only themselves to blame for this, most of them are far better suited to close quarters boat handling than their male partners but have willingly accepted the tradition that when things are tricky a man must deal with it. I can only think of two boats which transit the Crinan where the female partner helms. When I stroll over to a lock to assist a wee woman struggling to shift a gate my favourite remark is 'it's just like ironing isn't it!' 'Why?' 'Because you never see a man doing it'
My wife is as good a helm as I am, but has a long held and increasing aversion to yacht race starts, ( not just the starts, she struggles to understand why we want to do it) A few years back I persuaded her that in future she would helm in the canal while I did the locks, all went well until the notorious lock 6, she had been sent through the bridge while I was still struggling to get it open despite a stiff and gusty following wind, she managed to extricate herself without doing any damage but as soon as the lines were secured she was up the ladder and off the boat. I tried to persuade her that it was a man, the bridgekeeper who had caused her problem sending her in to the reach with nowhere to go but the building confidence was gone.
I used to gulder but have caught myself on now, I am not that keen on single handed sailing.

 

[reginaldon]

I did it too! Bringing a sailing dinghy in to Lulworth Cove, when the undertow pulled the boat back, I told swmbo that she should have grabbed it I added the insult 'you blithering idiot'. - that was the end of her sailing with me - I thoroughly deserved it. I've now lost that lovely lady.

 

[flaming]

It's insecurity pure and simple.

The very first time I ever took my now wife sailing with my family I told her when we came in to a berth that she was going to step off with a rope. And then I said, and if you can't step off, do not jump just tell me to do it again properly. She races with us every weekend and is a core crew member in her own right now.

If you're the experienced one on the boat, and especially if you're also the skipper, then any and every mistake made by you or your crew is your fault. Either because you messed it up, or you asked too much of your crew, or you failed to actually explain or teach them what it was you wanted them to do.

Only insecure people blame or shout at people that they're supposed to be in charge of in any walk of life.

 

[fisherman]

Funny how this has immediately become a husband, skipper/wife crew scenario. Chap used to crew for a young lady round here, definitely vice versa.

 

[Lon nan Gruagach]

It's insecurity pure and simple.

The very first time I ever took my now wife sailing with my family I told her when we came in to a berth that she was going to step off with a rope. And then I said, and if you can't step off, do not jump just tell me to do it again properly. She races with us every weekend and is a core crew member in her own right now.

If you're the experienced one on the boat, and especially if you're also the skipper, then any and every mistake made by you or your crew is your fault. Either because you messed it up, or you asked too much of your crew, or you failed to actually explain or teach them what it was you wanted them to do.

Only insecure people blame or shout at people that they're supposed to be in charge of in any walk of life.

Most certainly not only insecurity. Insufficient competence can produce exactly the same.

 

[fisherman]

Early 1968, Sunbury island, a very smart launch, skipper in blazer and white peaked hat, came creaming along very close to the bank, presumably avoiding the wash down from the weir. There was an obstruction, an old anchor just under water and the boat rode up briefly, then stopped and sank in 4ft of water. He only shouted one order: "Women and children first".

 

[fisherman]

If you're the experienced one on the boat, and especially if you're also the skipper, then any and every mistake made by you or your crew is your fault. Either because you messed it up, or you asked too much of your crew, or you failed to actually explain or teach them what it was you wanted them to do.
QUOTE]
"The skipper may not always be right, but he's always the skipper" I was pointedly told once.

 

[Keen_Ed]

If you're the experienced one on the boat, and especially if you're also the skipper, then any and every mistake made by you or your crew is your fault. Either because you messed it up, or you asked too much of your crew, or you failed to actually explain or teach them what it was you wanted them to do.

Agree.

My boat rules: no shouting, no swearing, one apology per mistake.

 

[johnalison]

We don't do apologies. Mutual recrimination is much more fun, and we can sometimes spin it out until the evening drink.

 

[Poignard]

If I speak sharply to The Old Guvnor she immediately retires below and leaves me to it; regardless of the circumstances. I have learned to reserve my criticisms untill we are in open water.

 

[Corribee Boy]

Agree.

My boat rules: no shouting, no swearing, one apology per mistake.

Absolutely with you on this, Ed.

 

[JumbleDuck]

Most certainly not only insecurity. Insufficient competence can produce exactly the same.

I think your both right. Incompetence is needed to produce the awkward situation, then insecurity takes over and produces the shouted abuse in response.

 

[Bru]

My boat rules: no shouting, no swearing, one apology per mistake.

Good rules

I will though claim two exemptions to the "no shouting" rule - one is when somebody is about to do something positively dangerous. I will, in extremis, shout "NO" or "STOP" or whatever is appropriate and then immediately apologise for shouting and explain why I felt it necessary

The other is an increasing nuisance because Jane's hearing has been getting steadily worse in recent years and I'm finding I have to raise my voice to embarrassing levels simply to communicate normal everyday instructions like "OK, let go" or "That's fine, make fast" etc. (Fingers crossed, this may be resolved as the problems have now been diagnosed and may be greatly improved by minor surgery)

Otherwise, I'm with Flaming et al, if it goes wrong it's MY fault, not the crews'.

 

[JumbleDuck]

The other is an increasing nuisance because Jane's hearing has been getting steadily worse in recent years and I'm finding I have to raise my voice to embarrassing levels simply to communicate normal everyday instructions like "OK, let go" or "That's fine, make fast" etc. (Fingers crossed, this may be resolved as the problems have now been diagnosed and may be greatly improved by minor surgery)

I regularly sail with a deaf person and in that case there really is no alternative to shouting. It must look terrible to onlookers who don't know the situation.

Otherwise, I'm with Flaming et al, if it goes wrong it's MY fault, not the crews'.

Ain't dat de troof?

 

[Resolution]

If you're the experienced one on the boat, and especially if you're also the skipper, then any and every mistake made by you or your crew is your fault. Either because you messed it up, or you asked too much of your crew, or you failed to actually explain or teach them what it was you wanted them to do.

Fine noble sentiments but not quite right. All humans make mistakes from time to time and there will be some made by your crew that do not fall into your categories above. What I would say is that, if you are the skipper, then any such faults become your responsibility.

 

[Resolution]

I regularly sail with a deaf person and in that case there really is no alternative to shouting. It must look terrible to onlookers who don't know the situation.

I also sail with a deaf person , but unfortunately that person is myself! Amazing how much of what my wife says is just blown away in the wind!!