paulineb
Active member
Attempt all questions. If you do not know the answer to a particular question, attempt to look at someone else's paper by knocking your biro onto the floor and having a shufty while you lean over to retrieve it. You are allowed one visit to the toilet to look at the answers to wrote on the wall yesterday. At 4.30 exactly, everyone cough to make the invigilator jump.
Section A (20%)
1. Explain why the best women's football team in the world wouldn't stand a chance against you and ten of your mates. Include in your answer:
a) why they are unable to kick a ball straight
b) what you wouldn't mind doing with them in the bath after the match though.
2. Pamela Anderson's tits are plastic but look good in photographs. Compare and contrast the relative merits of plastic and real tits for recreational purposes.
3. Write a critique of any ONE of the following films you will have watched at your mate's house while his parents were away:
a) Sex Boat
b) Three into one will go
c) King Dong
d) Speared by Zulu lovers
5. Women drivers eh? Discuss
Section B (80%)
1. Describe an experiment to impress a girl by lighting a fart. What apparatus would you require? What risks would you run into lighting a fart and what are the benefits? Write a balanced chemical equation to describe the reaction that takes place when an eggy fart is lit in a pub with a match.
2. Explain, using diagrams if necessary, how it is possible to tell if a woman is a virgin or not from the way she walks.
3. Name something a woman has invented
4. Argue heatedly over the respective merits of the Lambourghini Diablo and the Ferrari Testerossa without ever having see, let alone driven, either.
5. On average women live 7 years longer than men yet get their pensions 5 years earlier. Explain why is isn't fair making reference to your lazy old granny who lived to be a 100 and your poor grandad who worked 52 years down the pit and died the day before his retirement.
Pxx
Section A (20%)
1. Explain why the best women's football team in the world wouldn't stand a chance against you and ten of your mates. Include in your answer:
a) why they are unable to kick a ball straight
b) what you wouldn't mind doing with them in the bath after the match though.
2. Pamela Anderson's tits are plastic but look good in photographs. Compare and contrast the relative merits of plastic and real tits for recreational purposes.
3. Write a critique of any ONE of the following films you will have watched at your mate's house while his parents were away:
a) Sex Boat
b) Three into one will go
c) King Dong
d) Speared by Zulu lovers
5. Women drivers eh? Discuss
Section B (80%)
1. Describe an experiment to impress a girl by lighting a fart. What apparatus would you require? What risks would you run into lighting a fart and what are the benefits? Write a balanced chemical equation to describe the reaction that takes place when an eggy fart is lit in a pub with a match.
2. Explain, using diagrams if necessary, how it is possible to tell if a woman is a virgin or not from the way she walks.
3. Name something a woman has invented
4. Argue heatedly over the respective merits of the Lambourghini Diablo and the Ferrari Testerossa without ever having see, let alone driven, either.
5. On average women live 7 years longer than men yet get their pensions 5 years earlier. Explain why is isn't fair making reference to your lazy old granny who lived to be a 100 and your poor grandad who worked 52 years down the pit and died the day before his retirement.
Pxx
