Friday humour


New member
30 May 2001
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There was this guy and he had a girlfriend named
Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he
went to work and found that a new girl had started working with
him at his office.
Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely
gorgeous. He became quite smitten with her and after a while it
became obvious that she was very interested in him too. But this guy was
a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with Clearly while he was
still going out with his girlfriend. He decided that there was
nothing left to do but to break up with Lorraine and get on with Clearly.
He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he
couldn't bring himself to do it. Then one day they went
for a walk along the riverbank when Lorraine slipped and
fell into the river. The current carried her off and she
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and
then ran off smiling and singing and smiling and singing.

What was he singing, you ask???

(Get ready, it's good...)

I can see Clearly now .... Lorraine is gone.


New member
14 Oct 2001
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Re: How about..............

A lady dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is
greeted by Saint Peter. There are a few people waiting, so she strikes up a
conversation with them. Just then, she hears a blood curdling scream!
"What was that?" she asks.
"Oh, don't worry about that," says Saint Peter. "It's just someone getting
a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their halo."
A few seconds later, she hears another agonised scream, this one even more
terrible than the one before. "What was that?" she asks anxiously.
"Oh, don't worry," replies Saint Peter soothingly. "It's just someone
getting holes drilled in their back so they can be fitted for their wings."
The lady starts to back away.
"Where are you going?" queries Saint Peter.
"I think I'll go downstairs, if it's all the same to you," she answers.
"But you can't go there," says Saint Peter. "You'll be raped and
"It's OK," says the lady. "I've already got the holes for that!"

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