Free Jimi

[claymore]

They big daft Frenchies thought oor wee pal said Albania. He said Alba. I don't think I helped by getting the dates wrong - (thought I was too old for that sort of thing to worry me any more) - because he went over to liberate me but I'd already liberated myself with a little help from P&O Ferries.
I tried a bit of humour with the French Authorities - "How many Frenchmen does it take to liberate Paris? - We don't know , they never tried" but that didn't seem to help.
Anyway - I managed to speak with the Prisoner this morning and he's no money and starving.
I promised to get him some cash and a cauli with a file embedded in it. This is obviously some form of I.T. code and so we'll need a bit of help. I managed to get a smiley face at the end of my signature on these posts, but I've never managed to get a picture done - so how do I embed a file in a cauli and how can we email it across there?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[jimi]

Och where's yon Donald Caskie jist when ye need him!

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[Bejasus]

I take it your posting using a Happy1 type PDA thingy you had secreted in some bodily cavity which the Gendarmerie must have declined to search? Anyhow, should the rescue attempt fail, then I have made a generous offer to purl..., sorry protect and care for Glen Rosa in your period of deportment/banishment from this sceptred isle.

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[claymore]

Mrs Jimi

Will I go and offer her some solace and consolation?
I'm not too good with children - maybe someone else could take responsibility there?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[tcm]

Re: children of today

I'm sure i could help too. On our anniversary which i totally forgot about last friday, we went to some posh restaurant, i complained about the prices, then ranted at someone at work on the mobile phone about someone else's ludicrous expense claims. However, once back at home I was in a better mood, so we watched a dvd of Reservoir Dogs.

As for lookingf after children, well , that's fairly easy. All they need is some love and attention, £800 for a cheapish computer, £200 for a printer, their own TV, £400 for computer games, a broadband connection, £200 on shoes/sports shoes, £10 for no reason at all, a new mobile telephone every few months, a large car with driver to take them wherever , and total freedom from interrogation about school.

To counteract this, i enciouraged my eldest to do some gardening with me on Saturday. We were planting something and I explanied that to give the plant the best start i would be using "this topsoil". He agreed and remarked that in his view, all the soil in the garden was "well decent".

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[Bejasus]

Re: Mrs Jimi

Funnily enough, I have seen no alerts on the news or in the papers, with regards to his being missing. Indeed it could be argued that due to his sudden and unannounced departure, did he log a passage plan anywhere?, that he has taken on a Reggie Perrin type personality and indeed neither she nor anyone else for that matter, some forumites excepted, is treating his disappearance with anything other than a welcome indifference, thereby renderering your solicitations as totally unrequired. Indeed, they may even be an unwelcome intervention on your part. Mrs. Jimi and little ones, may well be counting up the policies and pension benefits even now.

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[EME]

Where\'s Alba ?

Aaarggh, so that explains why all our wind-assisted friends spend so much time passage planning. Tis obviously cos they aren't very good at it. You've all beeen looking in the wrong place as Alba is in Italy as I recall.

Obviously gone to collect smelly fungus (truffles) to hide the stench that comes from those raggy boats before the gentiles have to suffer it as they approach Cherbourg. Lord knows how he thought he were sailing there though. Suggest Alabania may be his actual destination as at least that has sea around it and definitely a left turn at Gib. May take couple of days longer before he arrives . Could also warm up Turkish locals before visiting morons en route....although they may consider the accent to be Finnish so another waste of time.

P.S. Who wants him freed anyway?

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=blue>I am WHAT I say I am</font color=blue>

 

[Twister_Ken]

Free Jimi - well that's about the only way you could get rid of him. No one would pay you for him.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[Ohdrat]

Bad news.. my informers have passed on this info..

Mad Scots terrrorist moved to Bastille.. Yacht Glen Rosa impounded and will be subject to a "controlled" explosion as suspect wmd,

Think Jimi may have to wait until Bastille day for his Liberté..

Re Cauli.. this might make matter worse as it might be mistaken for a mine..

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[claymore]

Life without Jimi

Unbearable.
Ye heartless bunch O'nasties - ah'm aff tae find ma wee pal sa black up yer walls wi they Frenchie deed er whitever yin Bard wis witterin aboot.
Ah'll no returrrn until a'hef ra wee mannie safe an soond wi his wifie an greetin' bairns.
'Well Decent soil' - de we have a budding tcmmarsh here?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[Bejasus]

Bugger!!!

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[Evadne]

Weapons of Muck Destruction

Someone should warn them about the holding tank before they try any "controlled explosions" on the "Glen Rosa". Or then again, maybe not.

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[jimi]

Re: Weapons of Muck Destruction

Weel ah've escaped noo, disguised as wan o'them wee french chickens. ... but the surrender mankies hae burnt ma boat .. suppose it makes a change fae lamb, onyroads ah'm doon ra marina the noo pretendin'tae be the french rugby team ... Ah need tae borrow ah bocht tae make ma escape .. whit dae ye recommend ... an afore ye say it . AAh'm no having a Glastron ... ah'd rither hae a Twister!

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[Evadne]

Disguise

Ah, the master of disguise. I'd change before nightfall though, you wouldn't want to get caught dressed a a cute French chicken after dark in Cherbourg, or it will be fricassee time. I didn't know that chicken's were in their rugby team as well though.
Now listen vairy carefully, I weel say this only wurnce. Go and see Renee in the Cafe de Paris, he will put you in touch with the resistance. Many plucky british sailors who have had their vessels impounded by the EU have been helped in this way. The resistance will arrange passage to a neutral state on a friendly trawler. If you are still dressed as a chicken this may be a more eventful trip than you would like. Bon Chance, mon ami.

<hr width=100% size=1> <P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by Dave_White on 29/09/2003 15:33 (server time).</FONT></P>

 

[Ohdrat]

Re: Weapons of Muck Destruction

mmmm you're warning, I'm afraid, has come too late, Gay Paris is now contaminated after the "controlled" explosion.. as the "authorities" did not detect the other holding tank Jimi had yet to discover... Luckily the wind is carrying the contamination inland so Cherbourg will be OK for next week.

René has asked me to pass on the word that there is a headless chicken screaming some indicipherables in his back yard... the resistence have been called and will use tranquillizer darts to pacify "it"... René also has some Christmas puds he would like to "offload" so I have suggested that the "free Jimi" vessel be used .. hope this is OK

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