forum FAQ suggestions?

[gjgm]

what with the boat show coming up, are there any answers we could have readily available for the new,keen boating enthusiasts?Perhaps members could prepare a question and suitable answer? For example.

Q. Which sailboat should I buy?
A. None.



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[Nauti Fox]

ooo! I can hear the ice cracking now.

<hr width=100% size=1>No dear,the water goes in the other one.

 

[LeytonC]

Q. How many miles to the gallon does it do?
A. Sorry, you got that the wrong way round, it should be gallons to the mile.

<hr width=100% size=1>Thanks

Leyton

EXTAR Software - Software that works for you
Phone : 07803 139 736

 

[jimi]

Q. Does it have a built in toaster?

A. No. For an 18ft boat it is best to buy a generator and power your toaster from that.

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[ChrisE]

Before someone else says it.

Q Where can I buy red diesel in 2006?
A Ask me another question.

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[SlowlyButSurely]

Problem is that the frequently asked questions all seem to have a multitude of different answers, for example:

Q: How much chain should I use for anchoring?

A: 3 times the depth.
A: 5 times the depth.
A: 10 times the depth.
A: All of it.
A: None of it; use rope instead.
A: Are you mad? You must use all chain.
A: Nonsense, my calculations show that rope is far superior

Etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum.


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[Planty]

I suppose topically one should ask:

Q Should I use Soltron, Soltron or Soltron???
A Soltron

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[jimi]

Q: Are jet drives good?

A: yes,no,yes, yes,no, maybe, shut up!

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[hlb]

Q. How should I winterise my boat.

A. Greenhouse heaters.

2. Dehumidifier.

Q.Time switches????

A. Yes, NO, Yes, Yes, No, NO, Sod Off!!

<hr width=100% size=1> No one can force me to come here. I'm a volunteer!!.

Haydn

 

[ChrisE]

Q How many fenders should I put down when coming into a marina and when should I do this?

A Depends whether you are in a yacht or a power boat. Yacht, three neatly tied along the widest part of the boat if returning across the Channel then put them out as you leave French waters. Power boat either none until the last moment then shout at the missus to put as many down as possible whilst accelerating towards the pontoon or one for every metre of length, if crossing the Channel there's no need to take them up when leaving France.

Q Which anchor should I use?
A CQR
A No, doesn't bite, Delta
A No, no, doesn't stow, Bruce
A No, no, no, too heavy, Fortress
A No, no, no, no , too light, Spade

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[gjgm]

oh, i was tempted with that one too!
or
Q (from H1) which engine should i fit
A (from H1) glad you asked that because I ve recently got 87 thousand different quotes and obviously know more about this than you..

mind you, either drove me mad or made me laugh alot !

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[syd]

"I'm new to boats and I want to sail around England in my 20ft ketch, do you think I should try a day skipper shore based course?

NO!

))

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[mainshiptom]

Q. just bought a 50ft boat in the london boat show, do I drive it like a car? anything I should watch out for ? do you get wet?
A. ???????????

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[jhr]

<<Q. just bought a 50ft boat in the london boat show, do I drive it like a car? anything I should watch out for ? do you get wet?>>

A. I think you have misunderstood the purpose for which you have purchased this craft. So long as you use it only for its intended purpose (posing on it in the marina and bragging to your colleagues on the trading floor about "your boat dahn on the coast") you do not need to worry about driving it, getting wet, etc. Hope this helps.

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

 

[MidlandsOnSea]

Q All the boats I see in the magazines and at the boat show have scantily clad women on deck. What boat should I get to encourage such women on my boat?

A. Anyone scantily clad on a boat in this country is clearly a nutter, and it's a bad idea to have more than one nutter on a boat. However, things which are generally appreciated by female folk include:

- not running aground on a falling tide shortly before nightfall
- "getting on with it instead of all that messing around with bits of rope" (which rules out sailing yachts)
- not playing chicken with the commercial shipping
- not using the same knife to butter your bread which you previously used to do jobs on deck (another reason to rule out sailing yachts)
- not having to use the heads at an angle of 35% (getting the message about sailing yachts yet?)
- toast - see posts above
-

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[gjgm]

cant be long before

Q. following all the interest on the forum, I ve gone out and bought a transducer. I m not sure where to fit it. Do I need a boat?
A.not at all. Put it in a plastic bag full of water. Should work fine.



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[PhilF]

Q. Is is worth having a bow Thruster
A. Depends who you ask


Q. Are brokers worth using
A. Only if they a cross between a solicitor and a priest

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[jimi]

Q Should I buy a boat from Ancasta.

A Can't tell you in case I get sued.

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[lanason]

Q - Shall use use my boat on the River or on the Sea

A - BOTH !!!
ps you'll need to buy a trailer as well as the boat

<hr width=100% size=1>Adrian <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.arweb.co.uk/argallery/kelisha>Kelisha</A> Nothing is better than a Holiday

 

[paulineb]

Q. Should I buy a boat from Ancasta
A. You have to get the bastards to reply to you first

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