First time sailing for girlfriend - any tips / advice?

[Sailor Tom]

Hi All,

I'm just about to take my girlfriend for her first ever sailing trip, and I'm really keen for her to enjoy it as much as possible & be bitten by the bug Any tips / recommendations for taking a newbie out and making them feel comfortable? For example - I've already had to explain (after watching 3 Men & another boat on TV the other day) that a boat with moderate heel is not in any way dangerous and in fact is supposed to sail that way - seems obvious if you've been sailing for a while but quite scarey I suppose!

Any other tips or suggestions?

 

[tidclacy]

Go out on a nice calm day with lots of sunshine and booze.

 

[millbeach]

Yes dont scare her, as she will never set foot on your boat again.
As i found out with the wife.
Then again not a bad idea,,

 

[Hornet_UK]

Hi All,

I'm just about to take my girlfriend for her first ever sailing trip, and I'm really keen for her to enjoy it as much as possible & be bitten by the bug Any tips / recommendations for taking a newbie out and making them feel comfortable? For example - I've already had to explain (after watching 3 Men & another boat on TV the other day) that a boat with moderate heel is not in any way dangerous and in fact is supposed to sail that way - seems obvious if you've been sailing for a while but quite scarey I suppose!

Any other tips or suggestions?

I would say give a thorough briefing of what she's expected to do and walk her through each of the steps. It sounds obvious but it is quite easy to forget to tell noobies about the little things more experienced crew do automatically. Hope that makes sense?

 

[millbeach]

Does your WIFE know you have a "Girlfriend" ?

 

[Malish]

Don't shout at her or get exasperated if she doesn't quite do what you want in a 'pressure' situation (entering or leaving berth etc)... and do not get distracted and forget about the navigation

 

[VicS]

Unless GF is a sporting outdoor type dont take her!

Or at least only for short sails of a few hours in fine weather.

Booze referred to above may not be a good idea.

 

[Victoria Sponge]

Encourage her to have a go at helming. As others have said try and choose a sunny day that's not too windy. Keep everything under control and stay calm.

 

[Sailor Tom]

Thanks Hornet UK, the idea of a briefing is a good one, I'll make sure I do one. A bit of booze will help I think but once we're safely tied up at the other end I think! She is fairly outdoors and sporting, which will help, I hope!

 

[Fire99]

What kind of area are you going to be sailing? Somewhere without too many challenges may be a good bet.

 

[Lakesailor]

- I've already had to explain (after watching 3 Men & another boat on TV the other day) that a boat with moderate heel is not in any way dangerous and in fact is supposed to sail that way -

Forget that you said that. Sail upright.

If she asks why aren't you heeling, sheet in a bit.

 

[Little Rascal]

Bring another experienced crew too. The one thing that seems to scare newbies is the fear of 'getting it wrong'. People tend to get unsettled if they are being relied on when they feel that they don't know what to do.

I usually demonstrate how much heeling control we have by easing the sheet and letting the crew see the boat pop upright - seems to reassure them...

 

[Searush]

Encourage her to have a go at helming. As others have said try and choose a sunny day that's not too windy. Keep everything under control and stay calm.

LISTEN TO WHAT THE LADY TELLS YOU!!

Personally, too much explanations just bother & confuse the novice (any sex) so treat her almost as a passenger. Do ALL the dirty work yourself, & give her something interesting to do like helming. It makes her feel needed, it keeps her occupied and it will feel stressfull enough so that if you keep saying stuff like "Perfect, hold it there", That's great, but we need to pass the other side of that green bouy" etc, she will gain confidence & feel she is acheiving something worthwhile - which she is.

You really do need to think ahead to avoid panics, tell her what you are doing, in simple layman's terms. "I'm going to untie us from the pontoon & reverse out. Now I want you to take the helm & steer us towards that xxx (point at xxx) while I tidy up all the ropes & fenders" "That's great, keep her on that course", or "the tide is pushing us left/right steer a bit more right/left"


The idea is that she should feel a part of what's going on, rather than alienated. That she has useful & achievable tasks that don't break her nails, soil her nice clothes or get her wet. All these things will come later, by which time she should be less stressed by them.

You could pick a nice anchorage & cook her a lovely meal with a bottle of wine too, that could be a memorable little touch. You do want her to be able to say something like "Remember when we went on our first sail . . . and you fell in the mud/ burnt the pie/ tore your pants." "

And don't forget to smile a lot & gaze into her eyes in utter admiration from time to time - Oh, and take a few piccies for us miserable lot stuck at home.

 

[Searush]

Bring another experienced crew too. The one thing that seems to scare newbies is the fear of 'getting it wrong'. People tend to get unsettled if they are being relied on when they feel that they don't know what to do.

I usually demonstrate how much heeling control we have by easing the sheet and letting the crew see the boat pop upright - seems to reassure them...

Yeah, but then they always expect you to sail upright. Perhaps if you also point out how it slows the boat down (assuming it does slow down & you haven't been oversheeted in the first place!)

 

[prv]

Searush's post sums it up well, I think. Definitely get her helming early on as it frees you up to do the more complicated stuff rather than getting you both stressed trying to explain it.

But what do I know - the girl I took sailing for the first time last summer says her favourite trip was the one we spent all day beating into a force 7 Got a good one there

Pete

 

[Little Rascal]

...You really do need to think ahead to avoid panics...

The idea is that she should feel a part of what's going on, rather than alienated...

Indeed. That's the key IMHO.

My wee boat heels quite a bit then stiffens up in the 'groove' - funnily enough it's the dinghy sailors that seem to find this disconcerting... hence the demonstration above...

 

[jobbie]

Don't let her get cold, don't let her get bored and don't for gods sake scare her.

 

[rob2]

I always assume that the trip is effectively single-handed and any help afforded by your guest is a bonus. Discuss all the options as you go along, so she knows what you're planning (no - really!) and can volunteer what help she feels confident to offer. I usually find that once under sail, a newcomer is thrilled to be given the helm and gently coached in open water, so when obstructions and traffic occur, they already have a feel for the boat, leaving you free to rush around the deck like a demented monkey, trimming sails and preparing things like mooring lines and fenders. Approaching the mooring is no time to start teaching how to tie a clove hitch!

Good (tasty) packed lunch and plentiful supply of tea/coffee/fruit juice will ensure a feeling of well being - I often forget to drink enough and end up cranky and dehydrated. But avoid anything that needs preparation, don't make her feel you only want a galley slave. I was recently surprised by a very slight lady who stepped ashore and held the boat against a brisk breeze with a single line.

Rob.

 

[prv]

avoid anything that needs preparation, don't make her feel you only want a galley slave.

Wee-e-ellll, that assumes you'd be asking her to do said preparation. Our first trip, I provided moussaka, fancy bread and green salad as soon as we'd anchored. Easy enough to stick a posh Waitrose ready-to-cook in the oven half an hour before you're planning to stop.

I still do all the cooking when we sail together; she claims to be happier doing the washing up

Pete

 

[rob2]

I still do all the cooking when we sail together; she claims to be happier doing the washing up

That works for me - I hate washing up!

Rob.

P.S. I was mainly thinking of the logistics of one of you being below decks to do the preparation rather than spending time together sailing. If it gets bumpy, a cheese sandwich is hard enough to prepare - Branston gets everywhere.