First time sailing for girlfriend - any tips / advice?

You've become involved with a woman who doesn't have a boat?

Should have done a background check. Basic stuff.
 
Good grief, do this, do that, dont do this, dont do that, explain this, dont explain that, show her this, dont show her that. Yer heed will be bursten! Just take her out on a nice, sunny, lightish wind day and go sailing. Blether and have a laugh. There is nothing more about it than that. I speak from significant experience on this subject. Man up and be that swarthy, confident buck she expects.
 
simonfraser said:
pick any day, preferably slightly naf, overcook the pasta, forget the wine, if she still loves you after that you've got a winner for the next 20 years, else dump her.
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20 years? :confused: Do your girlfriends have a sell-by date then?

Either they are keepers, or you release them back into the wild. And she needs to make the same decision over you. I've had mine for 47 years, & there's still plenty of life left in us both.
 
The fact that you are worried about what she thinks worries me, screw her then dump her just to be safe, she sounds risky :-)

(Only messing about)
 
I've found the bit about clear instructions is crucial. Don't just say "pull that blue rope" because there are likely to be several ropes that look slightly blue. Give a gentle instruction as to what the next event is likely to be and why. Patronising is just as bad as assuming too much.
Good luck, I haven't managed it yet, in 5 years!
 
Brief til you are blue in the face.

Knowledge dispels fear!!! Do take her around the boat and talk safety aboard... such as... you have 4 limbs, 3 for you and one for the boat.

GL

Not too much booze... seasickness will doom your efforts.:D:D
 
Marsupial said:
three things regardless of the weather

reef


reef


reef
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+1. Start in low gear - if enjoys then gradually increase. Managed to get my boat hating mum on the water one sunny day a couple of years ago. Also took well briefed son. As we sailed out to lunch the reefs magically popped in silently and back out again with every sign of stronger breeze. Short distance on a reach, anchored for lunch and reached back. She loved it, and didn't realise how much effort ships boy put in to keep smooth and stable.
 
Sailor Tom said:
Hi All,

I'm just about to take my girlfriend for her first ever sailing trip, and I'm really keen for her to enjoy it as much as possible & be bitten by the bug :) Any tips / recommendations for taking a newbie out and making them feel comfortable? For example - I've already had to explain (after watching 3 Men & another boat on TV the other day) that a boat with moderate heel is not in any way dangerous and in fact is supposed to sail that way - seems obvious if you've been sailing for a while but quite scarey I suppose!

Any other tips or suggestions?
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You don't say where or what type of boat? I assume monohull as you mention heeling. Is it a yacht where she can feel relatively comfortable or is it high performance dinghy where she'll be wearing a wet/dry suit?
Is she ok in or on water? Can she swim? Does she suffer motion sickness of any sort? Is she the adventurous out door type or is she the type that travels with full make up kit, hair straightners, fake tan, and a change of clothes for any occasion?
The answers to these will dictate the type of advice we can give?

Personally I introduced my girlfriend to sailing on a 8 berth catamaran, not too
tippy, feels safe. Spent the 1st night on board moored to the pontoon so she could get used to the feel of the motion of the boat gradually.
The next day spent a while sorting out provisions and cruising permits etc. Briefing on the boat and general familiarisation, it was a charter boat, so we were both "learning" she was learning by listening to the briefing from the charter manager and our conversation. By mid afternoon she and I were keen to get going, the sun was shining, weather was warm, a stiff breeze F3-4. Slightly more wind than ideal but as it was a cat and our course would involve only a beam/ broad reach not an issue.
We motored out of the harbour and unfurled the jib, and sailed on that for a while. Not too much at once to get her used to the changes. Flapping noisy canvas can be a bit worrying if you aren't used to it. After a few more minutes we put up the mainsail. All the time I explained first what I was going to do before I did it. She was mainly a spectator but it's reassuring to know what's about to happen and why. Never went out of sight of land that can be disconcerting the first time too. After about 1hr sailing we'd reached our destination. Dropped the sails motored to the mooring, picked up the mooring, engine off, tidied up and relaxed in the late afternoon sun with a couple of cold beers from the fridge. She felt very relaxed and happy. Ready to take on a slightly longer trip the next day.
We did a week and over 100 nm and she's looking forward to the next trip. Despite the fact she got a black eye from the swinging shackle on the pulley from the davits when we came back in the tender one evening. She's also a non swimmer with a fear of water and she did take her hair straighteners! :D
 
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Re: the helming thing get her on the helm from the word go if you can and, as soon as you can, get her to try luffing and bearing away so she can see the way she's governing the angle of heel. Because you won't have picked a windy day and may even be reefed down and trying to stay on a nice reach with the sun on you, she will feel she's controlling what's going on (and you'll be watching the sheets and ready to ease if need be to avoid a fright).

Try and avoid downwind too much as a gybe may be a bit unnerving, especially as we can't help being a little apprehensive about it ourselves very often. Any rolling is also very disconcerting.

Don't forget to sail the boat - may sound stupid but you'll be breaking your routine somewhat, and you'll also be worried about how she's reacting and naturally paying attention to her a fair bit. Keep a good a lookout and trying and keep every well-planed and smooth and give yourself a chance to explain what's going to happen before you do it.

Warn her about the noise the sails will make when you hoist them and when you go about as well as the noise the engine makes - again it sounds a daft thing but it's usually things like that spook people. Explain that boats may get within a few feet of each other sometimes and it's quite safe (you can qualify that remark later - let's call it a white half-truth for now). If she does something like wraps a line around her hand just casually mention that it's better not too just in case. That's why it's better not to be into wind in any kind of breeze - even a casual remark gets shouted and she may not understand you're actually quite relaxed about something.

Don't go all serious and drop in to lecture mode (i.e don't sound like this post reads). You're not trying to teach her to sail in one day - you're trying to make sure she enjoys a "first date" really. Tell enough for her to understand what she's doing and if she wants to know more she'll usually ask. Especially when you're explaining things on dry land or in a very calm (weather-wise) situation throw a bit of humour in to the situation if you can without forcing it.

Do remember that, if she's not used to small boats, just motoring along a channel can seem a quite a challenging and daunting exercise.

Resist the temptation to "show her what she can really do when pushed" if it all seems to be going well. Apart from frightening her you should always leave them wanting for more :)

Most of all make sure you enjoy it and you show that you enjoy it. If she really likes you and she sees that you are relaxed and enjoying yourself she'll not only feel more comfortable but she'll appreciate what it means to you and make more effort to get into it herself. If it doesn't happen don't try and force it - just back off rather than giving her a chance to reinforce all the negatives she's thinking. You can always give it a go another day when the suns shining and there's no wind at all with the promise of nice gentle motor and a romantic picnic hamper, perhaps even pre-positioning the boat somewhere nice.
 
grumpy_o_g said:
Re: the helming thing get her on the helm from the word go if you can and, as soon as you can, get her to try luffing and bearing away so she can see the way she's governing the angle of heel. .

Try and avoid downwind too much as a gybe may be a bit unnerving, especially as we can't help being a little apprehensive about it ourselves very often. Any rolling is also very disconcerting.

...trying and keep every well-planed and smooth and give yourself a chance to explain what's going to happen before you do it.

.... better not to be into wind in any kind of breeze -

You're not trying to teach her to sail in one day -
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So what is it he is supposed to do to make his girl friend enjoy the sail: teach her, dont teach her, not upwind, not down wind?

Sailor_Tom I used yachts like others used girls to pull birds and go sailing. Just get them on the boat on a sunny day and head out. Its as simple as that. Absolutely do not teach her anything until she asks- your the man, your in control, that's all there is too it. Treat it as a Sunday drive and have a blether and laugh - make it a non event as far as the sailing goes.

This is the point - she will be madly impressed but you will only find that out 20 odd years later ;)
 
Sailor Tom said:
Hi All,

I'm just about to take my girlfriend for her first ever sailing trip, and I'm really keen for her to enjoy it as much as possible & be bitten by the bug :) Any tips / recommendations for taking a newbie out and making them feel comfortable?
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Yes:
1/ chose a day as near flat calm as you can get - no macho man bashing to windward with 20 knots over the deck and the toe rail under
2/ dont shout at her whatever happens.
 
Don't assume she will rationally absorb your explanations as to why the boat is heeling so much or how safe all that is despite the deafening noise of that flapping main as you reef.She won't.So take her out in a calm day,reef twice as much as you need and never ever shout.It's her first time and it takes time to get used to that new world.These days I go everywhere slowly because it's either that or singlehanding and my wife once sailed with me from Manila to Hong Kong.She changed somewhere along the way so I had to adapt.
 
For ****'s sake. All he needs to do is choose a calm and very sunny day, preferably have some dolphins around, and lots of warm clothing.
Getting cold is the number one put-off for new sailors.
 
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